Chapter 17 Are Gate Keepers of the Dream In various ways this scene is played out in countless families throughout the country. It may be a parent coaching a T-ball game or a mother driving her kids to a soccer practice. What is really taking place in each of these situations is that a dream is being formed. Both children and parents create expectations for the feature.
They may dream of: Playing on the A-level traveling team. Starting on the varsity high school team. Just making the team to socialize with friends. Being named team captain. Making All-conference or All-State. Getting a college scholarship. Becoming a famous singer. Breaking scoring records.
These dreams are formed over months and years. These dreams become real in the imagination of a kid. Then, one day it is time for the dream to take on a new reality. It is time for the dream to pass through the gate of a childs imagination and manifest itself. But now the life and future of the dream is handed over to a person called Coach. It is the coach who will determine if the dream is allowed to pass through the gate and become a reality.
A Coachs Conundrum Youngsters and their parents are coming to them with a dream. By necessity not all dreams can pass through the gate. It is the coachs responsibility to decide which dreams pass through the gate. No matter how a coach handles the situation of denying a dream from passing through the gate, the kid and his parents will experience some degree of disappointment. There is a Top 20 way of handling dream breaking.
Top 20 Dream-Breaking As coaches, we would prefer that every kids dream could become a reality. However, since that is not realistic, how can we best handle dream-breaking situations. 1. Clarify expectations 2. Be Fair 3. Focus on Team and Individual Youngster 4. Demonstrate Positive Bedside Manner 5. Guide to Other Activities 6. Acknowledge Worth
Time For Reflection and Action Identify a dream you had as a youngster. How was your dream handled by a coach? What makes dealing with a youngsters dream or a parents dream difficult for you? What can you do to respond to dream- breaking more effectevely?
CHAPTER 18 Top 20 Coaches Get and Give Feedback Effectively
Feedback fuels the constant growth that Top 20s seek. Effective coaches give their participants meaningful, necessary feedback to be more successful in their respective activities and lives.
Types of Feedback Affirming Feedback Says Dont change. Your doing fine. Critical Feedback Says Change. You would do better off if you did it differently
Getting Feedback Effectively 1. Ask for feedback – more open and receptive and less defensive. 2. Listen openly and non-judgmentally – time to see how other people see things. 3. Paraphrase it back – Repeat so that you clearly understood what was said. 4. Express Thanks – Express gratitude to person trying to help you. 5. Decide on the value of the feedback – Decide on what action you will take.
Giving Feedback Effectively 1. Establish rapport first – Establish a relationship with players 2. Ask Permission – reduces defensiveness 3. Ask for the persons opinion – get idea on what needs are. 4. Offer direct feedback – meaningful feedback 5. Look for agreement – did it make sense 6. Offer follow through and support – committed to really help make a change.
Timing Is Important Top 20 coaches mentor other coaches. Bottom 80 coaches are often frustrated with the performance of their assistants, but never go to them with the feedback necessary to improve the situation.
Time for Reflection & Action 1. Identify someone to whom you would like to give affirming feedback 2. Identify an individual or group from whom you would like to receive critical feedback. 3. Identify someone to whom you would like to give critical feedback. 4. What did you become aware of while reading this chapter regarding an action you would like to take?
Revolutions are filled with confusion and uncertainty, but they are fueled by a clear and passionate purpose.