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Rus Ervin Funk, MSW. Rape/sexual assault Domestic and dating violence Sex trafficking Sexual harassment Prostitution and pornography Street harassment.

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Presentation on theme: "Rus Ervin Funk, MSW. Rape/sexual assault Domestic and dating violence Sex trafficking Sexual harassment Prostitution and pornography Street harassment."— Presentation transcript:

1 Rus Ervin Funk, MSW

2 Rape/sexual assault Domestic and dating violence Sex trafficking Sexual harassment Prostitution and pornography Street harassment Stalking

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4 Men tend to have a different experience and understanding of violence than do women The impact of activists efforts to understand the dynamics of violence has meant broadening the definition of what is violent

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6 A lack of identification with the victim. A perception of the situation as one that calls for violence. A decision to act violently The means of doing harm to the other person.

7 Men commit the vast majority of sexual violence. Men are sexually victimized by other men. Mens sexual violence confines men. Women see men as potential threats. Men know and love survivors. Men know and love perpetrators. Men are part of the community. Mens sexual violence is a human rights violation. © 2009/2010 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

8 Tend to have minimal or un-known relationship Assume other men (and women) think of men as either victims or offenders other-ing

9 Intrapersonal (Attitudes) Relational (Behaviors) Organizational (Practices) Community (Norms) Socio-Cultural (Customs, laws, beliefs)

10 Threat/level of violence Sexism Gender Sexual Coerced/ Stranger Gang Rape Harassment Harassment Forced sex Rape Rape Murder *Based on the work of Rus Ervin Funk, Reaching Men: Strategies for Preventing Sexist Attitudes, Behavior and Violence (2006).

11 Collective impact How mens violence (and the threat of mens violence) impact all women How all men benefit from the violence that some men perpetrate Sexism as the core…

12 Prevention education Leadership development Bystander intervention and support Organizational level intervention Community organizing Policy advocacy

13 Men Are not the problem And Men are responsible for Sexism and Violence © 2009/2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

14 the important fact of mens lives is not that they are biological males, but that they become men. Our sex may be male, but our identity as men is developed through a complex process of interaction with the culture in which we learn the gender scripts, and modify those scripts to make them more palatable. Michael Kimmel and Michael Messner, 1989

15 1. How men handle life (Active and Achievement) independent, competitive 2. How men handle others (dominant) aggressive, powerful, boastful I would add competitive 3. How men handle emotions (level-headed) unemotional, self-control anger as mens only allowed/supported emotion (Michael Cicone & Diane Ruble, 1976)

16 Being a Man Man Up What Men are Called Whats Done to Men

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19 What do men think about domestic violence? What do men think about women advocates? What do men think about men who work on these issues? What do men think about feminists and feminism? How do you expect men to respond to you? © 2009/2010 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

20 Men have experienced multiple forms of violence and abuse. Men Care! Men are opposed to domestic violence and rape. Men are NOT the problem. Men have an unlimited ability to feel compassion and empathy. Men Want to be a part of the solution. Some men act in abusive and sexist ways. © 2009/2010 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

21 Gender and Context Matter! Utilize the Prevention Framework Define specific groups of men to engage Clarify your reason for asking this man(or group of men) to be engaged Identify what engagement means (i.e. what we want them to do) Clarify roles for men in your agency/community?

22 Men are different than women Men do not experience domestic and sexual violence like women do Mens recognize that domestic and sexual violence have a different impact on women Domestic and sexual violence are gendered Not all men are similarly situated in relation to sexual and domestic violence © 2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

23 Little Learning Zone Optimal Learning Zone Little Learning / Damage Zone

24 Meet men where they are Engaging hostile men is different than engaging overcommitted men Dont engage men to change men Know why youre engaging men (why should this man/group be engaged) Engage men…to do what? Next Steps… © 2009, 2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

25 Intrapersonal (Attitudes) Relational (Behaviors) Organizational (Practices) Community (Norms) Socio-Cultural (Customs, laws, beliefs) X X

26 Overtly hostile Opposed Engaged but hesitant Engaged but Over-committed Actively Leading Resistant Un- interested Questioning Engaged and ready to follow © 2007 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

27 Identify which men you want to engage Focus on engage-able men Identify why they want to be engage Identify their point of entrée Identify what they need in order to stay engaged/increase their engagement Identify who else they can engage © 2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

28 Male Significant others Bystanders Male as volunteers Men who have perpetrated violence Men in groups © 2009 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

29 Combating male defensiveness What is his point of entrée? What are the next steps beyond this point of entrée that are accessible to him? What supports does he need to take those next steps? Is if okay if he doesnt?

30 If you had a group of men who were engaged and ready to work… What would you have them do???

31 Behave Nonviolently Taking individual action Join Collective Efforts

32 Treat the women in our lives with respect Equalize relationships Resist sexism and violence Inform yourself Resist settling Take action © 2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

33 Overview of bystander theory Why men stand by Who men stand by given the chance Becoming an ally… © 2009 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

34 Defining the behavior Defining the relationship Men less likely to define the behavior as problematic than women Especially if they perceive it to be a relationship No cock-blocking © 2009, 2011 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

35 Men side with men As default Will side with women if Know woman better than man If have positive regard for woman Diffusion of Responsibility – S&DV are womens issues Dont know how © 2009 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

36 The kinds of situations that men see: relationship blues Flirting with the waitress Locker-room talk Speaking up = placing oneself as not one of the guys. (cost of intervening) © 2009 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

37 Support women or men who have been victimized Listen Believe Respect Challenge/Care-front abusive men Set a standard Talk to your friends Hold Accountable © 2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

38 Become an ally Challenge Social Norms Provide Information Challenge assumptions Use humor Talk to other men Join a Mens Group Dont use pornography © 2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

39 Fathers (esp. dads of teenagers) Coaches Men of faith Teens Victims Loved ones Former perpetrators Male leaders in the community Why should they be engaged?

40 Listen Accept Responsibility Accept Personal Ownership of the Issue Open Doors Take Chances Seek Support Earn Trust Act Reliably Take the lead (at times) Check in Are Accountable © 2009 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

41 Boys as allies for girls Boys as allies for each other Adult males as allies for boys To support leadership development To foster gender respect Adult males as allies for women and girls © 2009/2010 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

42 White Ribbon Campaign Walk a Mile in her Shoes Mentor younger men Offer presentations Boycott sexist media Challenge pro-violent media Dont use

43 Dont engage men to change men Start with men you know Start with these men with where they are (not where you wish they were or think they should be) Create points of entrée Thing strategizing more then event planning Support their development Invite them to do the work, not listen to a conversation © 2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

44 Invite to be further involved Provide resources Connect him/them with others Support through their learning Provide additional support

45 Accountability is… Transparent Process not end-point Relational Following through Listening to feminists first Accepting Consequences Making Amends © 2009 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

46 Why do you want to engage men? © 2009/2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

47 Because they need to get it Because they can be ambassadors for your organization/mission Because they are core partners in prevention Because they have been victimized Because they love women or men who have been victimized Others… © 2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

48 How do you focus on the support for and empowerment of women… and engage and support men? © 2009/2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

49 Opposed Resistant Ambivalent Uninterested Interested but unprepared Hesitant Over-taxed Ready, prepared and engaging © 2009/2010 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

50 What Concerns or Fear do you have about Engaging Men? © 2010/2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

51 Which men do you want to engage? Why these men? What access do you have to these men? What methods do you have to engage these men? How do you make these men feel welcome and comfortable within your organization? © 2009/2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

52 Why (according to your community) do men come to your door? What is mens experience of coming in your door? What is mens perceptions of you? As an organization The staff within the organization What is mens perceptions of men who are connected to your organization? © 2009/2011 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

53 Are men Potential perpetrators Potential victims Potential allies Men have a different understanding of/relationship to violence than do women. Mens understanding of/relationship to is at the intersection of their identities. Accepting men from where they are, not where you want them to be. Make room for men to grow in their understanding © 2009/2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

54 Many men perpetrate low level forms of violence and abuse/Most men perpetrate sexism. How you respond to different levels of sexism/abuse Defining different roles for men than for women within the agency/movement. Its not a matter of if, but when… © 2009/2011 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

55 What experience do men have in following women s leadership? What experience do women have in providing leadership to men?

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58 A Call to Men (www.acalltomen.com) Men Against Domestic Violence (www.womenaresafe.org/madv) Men Against Rape (www.menagainstrape.org) Men Against Sexual Violence (www.menagainstsexualviolence.org) Men Against Violence Against Women (www.mavaw.org) Men Against Violence (www.menagainstviolence.net) Men Can Stop Rape (www.mencanstoprape.org) Mens Initiative of Jane Doe Inc. (www.mijd.org) © 2009/2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

59 Mens Nonviolence Project (www.tcfv.org/nulceus/mnp.php) Men Stopping Rape (www.men-stopping-rape.org) Men Stopping Violence (www.menstoppingviolence.org) Mens Resource Center for Change (www.mrcforchange.org) Mens Resources International (www.mensresourcesinternational.org) Men Today Men Tomorrow (www.mentodayidaho.org) MensWork: eliminating violence against women (www.mensworkinc.com) White Ribbon Campaign (www.whiteribbon.ca) © 2009/2012 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights reserved

60 Rus Ervin Funk PO box 4878 Louisville, KY (502)


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