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Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Your squad car will only break down when you happen to be outside of your beat.

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Presentation on theme: "Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Your squad car will only break down when you happen to be outside of your beat."— Presentation transcript:

1 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Your squad car will only break down when you happen to be outside of your beat.

2 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement The ease of service of any search warrant varies directly with the likelihood that you are in the wrong house.

3 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Waterproof boots aren't.

4 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Freebies will arrive at the station only on your day off.

5 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement The coffee machine breaks down only on graveyard shift.

6 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Court will be scheduled in the middle of your days off.

7 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts.

8 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Hot calls will only come over the air 10 minutes before the end of shift.

9 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement New uniform shirts and ties attract gravy and ketchup.

10 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Perfect 10s show up to talk only when you're busy.

11 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement You will find a Police Discount one day before payday.

12 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Bulletproof vests might be.

13 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Shatterproof flashlights seldom are.

14 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement The experience of your Assistant District Attorney is inversely proportional to the importance of your case he is prosecuting.

15 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement On any day that you are filmed by a news crew, you will forget your hat.

16 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement You never get the urge to use the bathroom until after you have left the station.

17 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement You will remain in perfect health until your days off.

18 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Your portable radio will never fail until you are involved in a foot pursuit.

19 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Surprise inspections occur only after a foot pursuit through the slough.

20 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Glow-in-the-dark gun sights are just as visible to crooks hiding behind you as they are to you.

21 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Vehicle pursuits always progress from areas of low traffic density to areas of high traffic density.

22 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement The Mayor will get a parking ticket only when it is time to negotiate police salary increases.

23 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Your only pen will run out of ink exactly at the moment you decide to write traffic violators.

24 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement No patrol car assigned to you will be clean or have a full tank of gas.

25 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Zippered boots break only when there are less than three minutes until roll call.

26 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement White socks make boot zippers break.

27 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement NCIC will be down any time you see a car listed on the hot sheet.

28 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Coffee jitters will never plague you until firearms qualification day.

29 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Old squad cars never die - they just smell that way.

30 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Flashlight batteries never die in daylight hours.

31 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement You will never get a bomb call until the squad is away on a training exercise.

32 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement The only time John Q. Public wants a friendly chat is when you sit down to eat.

33 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Your mouthiest traffic violator of the day will be related to the Sheriff.

34 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Word processors only delete reports that are nearly finished.

35 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement You will score no higher than fourth on a three-vacancy promotional exam.

36 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Your bulletproof vest was supplied by the lowest bidder.

37 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement You will receive a subpoena in a major felony case for the first day of your paid- for, non-refundable vacation.

38 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement If the crooks are within pistol range, so are you.

39 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick, and choke.

40 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement The speed at which you respond to a fight in progress is inversely proportional to how long you have been a cop.

41 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement If you know someone who tortures small animals and wets the bed, he is either a serial rapist or he works in Internal Affairs.

42 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Placing a gun back in a shoulder holster with your finger on the trigger will produce a semi-permanent limp.

43 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement In a physical confrontation involving more than one officer, any police impact weapon used will strike more cops than bad guys.

44 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Any citizen observing an approaching police vehicle with emergency lights showing will immediately pull into the traffic lane needed by the officer.

45 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Never search a dark warehouse with an officer whose nickname is Boom-Boom.

46 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Every citizen, upon learning that you are a cop, will tell you a traffic stop story that he is certain you have never heard before.

47 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Do unto others, but do it first.

48 Murphys Laws of Law Enforcement Eat Right. Exercise Often. Die Anyway.


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