Practice treating yourself the ways a good friend would treat you Respect yourself Encourage yourself to make healthy decisions Be assertive about reaching goals DO not be selfish. Building healthy self-esteem also helps you develop the skills to treat your friends the same way you want them to treat you.
Friendship is the relationship between people who enjoy being together and who care about each other. It is important that the friends you have keep you healthy and safe.
How do you meet people and become good friends? Live near each other Classes together Meet through other friends Take part in activities that you enjoy doing
What is prejudice? Judging others on the basis of stereotypes, second-hand impressions, rumors, and so forth. Prejudices are learned behaviors People prejudge things all the time. Examples?
Simplified and standardized conception or image invested with special meaning and held in common by members of a group.
At your table (marker and paper), select a leader based on most intelligent person. Come up with a list of stereotypes and labels- based on what you hear people say on age, physical appearance, clothes, intelligence, economic status, music they listen too, personality, interests, etc. YOU HAVE 4 MINUTES. Tape your list to the board
Where do we learn about these things? Are there any that you never heard before? Are labels harmless or not? Where do you cross the line? Does it depend on who says it? Or how they are saying it? Does it depend on whether or not they know the person it is being directed too? Does it depend on whether they belong to the group they are making the stereotype about? Did you make a stereotype picking the most intelligent person? How can we combat stereotypes in our lives and in society as whole? It is important to not stereotype people when making friends. A close friend might be someone who is just like you or the complete opposite.
Work in pairs. One student interviews your partner about the questions on the slide before. The interview should be about how he or she met a friend and why they became friends. Once you have interviewed your partner, switch roles
Like each other Treat each other well Use good communication skills about goals and ideas Demonstrate good characterKnow what is important (values and beliefs) to each other Show respect to their friends decisions and opinions Dependable and loyal Not only friends during the easy times Caring (for and about their friends) Empathetic ( identify and share another persons feelings) Trust ( and believe in one another) Reliable ( count on each other and keep their word)
Demonstrate one or more of the qualities of a good friendship.
Some people think that a good friend will always agree with you, no matter what you say or do. Do you think this is true? Think of examples when a friend would be showing their friendship to you by disagreeing with you.
Does this person share or respect my values? Do I enjoy being with this person? Does this person accept and like me? Do my parents trust this person? Will this person and I have a chance to spend time together? If you answered YES to the questions above, then it is most likely that this person will be a good friend.
Making Good Decisions: You just met a new person who seems interested in being your friend and is nice. However, this person is constantly trying to change you. They also dont respect other peoples values. Is this person a good candidate for a friend? Why or why not?
Bet You Cant
Some friendship relationships are not good. This could be because of Negative Peer Pressure- encouragement to do things that could cause harm. It could be: – something that is dangerous or illegal – something you are just not ready for – or something that goes against your values or familys values (lie, steal, cheat, try drugs).
Relationships during teen years are important Peers have a strong influence on you Peer Pressure- is the influence to go along with actions and beliefs of your peers (directly or indirectly) It can be negative or positive
Involves bribes Threats Teasing Name-calling Facial expressions Gossip When someone challenges your beliefs- stand your GROUND and RESIST.
Does this person hurt me; threaten to hurt me, or others? Does this person try to control me, keep me away from my friends, or ask me to hurt others? Does this person encourage me to act against my values? If you answered YES to any of these questions, talk to your parents and use refusal skills to get away from this person. Refusal skills help you stay in safe relationships and resist negative peer pressure.
Are communication strategies that help you say no effectively Avoid dangerous situations State Reasons Say No verbally with good body language Stand your ground- Dont Try To Meet The Other Person Halfway Stay focused on the issue Suggest alternatives Walk away from unhealthy situations Plan Ahead Use S.T.O.P
Pressure Lines: Everybodys going…. If youre my friend youll do ….. Oh, come on- just this once …..
What You Should Say: Well I am not everybody. Besides I dont believe everyone is going. I am your friend. If you were my friend, you wouldnt ask me too. It only takes once to get in trouble
The Power of Structure
These let people know, YOU mean what YOU say (show with words and actions) They take practice Speak clearly, calmly, and in a firm tone Be Assertive- behave with confidence and clearly state your intentions Be sure your body language and gestures match your words.
Get in pairs Write an example of negative peer pressure on a slip of paper. Put the paper into a box If your example is drawn on you will role play resisting their partner.
Volunteer. I will try to pressure you to do a risky behavior. Use S.T.O.P. for effective refusal skills. ( Say No, Tell why not, Offer other ideas, and Promptly Leave)
Create a concept map using refusal skills for the following scenario: Friends want to vandalize a neighbors mailbox.
How can humor be used in response to negative peer pressure?
A clique is a group of friends who hang out together and act in similar ways. Cliques are common during teen years. Usually students play on a same team or are in the same club together. Membership in the clique is limited and not all who want to belong can join. They can be positive or negative. One of your emotional needs: Need to belong, want to fit in to the group. Teens who are unsure of themselves join a clique to gain approval (what they wear or how they act)
Cliques can be harmful if they encourage bad behavior, and discourage members from making their own decisions. May cause members to go against their values and beliefs (lying, sexual activity) May hurt people outside the group (make fun of others) If you are in a BAD clique: Suggest other activities to participate in ( that do not hurt or put others down) Find new friends
Some peer pressure may be positive and inspire you to do something worthwhile, with good character Positive Peer Pressure (encouragement to stick to values and achieve goals) involves: Encouraging words Encouraging expressions Challenging friends to do their best Keep risky situations from resulting in bad decisions/ choices Positive Peer Pressure can help you make more decisions and become independent, and give you confidence Example: If a friend picks on someone, tell them that teasing is wrong. Being honest takes courage; BUT HONESTY is one of the most important parts of friendship.
Exit Slip- Create a table with TWO columns: one for negative peer pressure and one for positive peer pressure. List at least five influences in each appropriate column. Homework- Write a paragraph (4-5 sentences) describing what kind of friend you are. Next write 1-2 sentences describing the type of friend you would like to have.
Fair Weather Friends
Friends usually have things in common, but remember you are STILL individual people with goals and ideas. Accepting differences is a way to show and demonstrate respect. By respecting and understanding the views of people from many different backgrounds, you can learn to look at the world in new ways.
Being a good friend might require you to be a leader. Leadership is guiding others in a responsible way. It is not bossing others It is setting examples for others: Using refusal skills to show others how to handle negative peer pressure Demonstrate respect Develop a plan to solve a problem It takes practice. The more chances you have to practice being a leader, the better you will be.
Create a maze on graph paper. Collect all of the papers. Get into pairs. Give each pair one maze. One student close your eyes (with the pencil on the paper), while your partner helps lead them through the maze- verbally. The sighted student may not touch the pencil. Is communication important?
Cooperation is working with others to reach a goal. Share the work in a group among everyone Let everyone use their skills to add to the group (car wash- someone make posters, someone collect money) Cooperation helps you learn and grow socially. Friends who help each other can reach larger goals Cooperation makes friendships stronger because you want them to succeed (showing you are willing to spend time and effort to help them reach their goals)
What does it mean to be someones best friend? What is the difference between a best friend, casual friend, and acquaintance?
Stick to your values Doing what is right is easier if your friends support you You can support each other by talking regularly about decisions you make Offer suggestions for help Stand by friends when they say No to negative peer pressure Sticking to your values wont be POPULAR Popularity is based on things you cannot control. Friendship is based on values and respect. Support of a friend is more important than being popular Popularity can change, but friends will support you even in hard times, when you need them the most.
Find someone you do not talk to or know well. Find three things you have in common and three things that you are different about. Present to class.
Exit Slip- Write about how leadership and cooperation can affect the following people: firefighters, doctors and nurses, architects, carpenters, plumbers, electricians.
is TV shows, movies, music, magazines, and all other public forms of communication. Media influences what you think about yourself and how you get along with others. You are surrounded by messages that influence how you get along with others. Listen closely to the words of your favorite song. (Disrespectful, violent? TV show characters go against your values and beliefs?) If so, these may be negative influences in your life. Surround yourself with good influences that help you make healthy choices.
Your family Your role models Your peers
What Are They Selling? Copy of What Are They Selling worksheet, to each group of students (3). Ten (10) stations with advertisements, each group will travel Each groups will try to guess what is being advertised. After students have gone to all stations SIT. Tell your guesses. Tell them what is actually being advertised.
What was the similarity among all the advertisements? Do you think advertisements are an aberration or are they examples of the type of advertising that is out there? Why do companies use sexuality in their advertising? What is the impact of all the sexuality on young peoples lives, if any? Media is all around us. We are exposed to 3,000 advertising images daily. Many companies use sexuality to market their product. Overwhelming number advertisement companies use sexuality subconsciously to encourage premature sexuality among teens. If you are made aware of the influence of media in your lives, it is the first step to prevent the medias powerful influence.
In early teen years, relationship with boys and girls changes. Some teens become interested in spending time with people they find attractive. Some teens might be shy and uncomfortable around the opposite gender without the support of friends. Some teens still enjoy hanging out with people of similar interests-sports, clubs, hobbies You have options about how you spend your social time and with whom.
Group boys together, group girls together. In groups form questions they would like to ask the opposite gender about dating.
Most teens prefer going in a mixed group of both boys and girls This helps to feel more comfortable with teens of both genders Helps with conversation and practice social skills.
Is it appropriate for a girl to ask a boy out on a date? Explain reasons.
Home: Video rental Computer games Table tennis Pizza party Barbeque Board games
Entertainment: Movies Youth center Amusement park Fair Spectator sports Dancing Mini golf Picnic
You may develop an interest in one person Individual dating is a way to get to know one person better Go on a date because you want to, not because you feel pressured too Responsible dating is- wanting to spend time with someone who demonstrates positive qualities
Draw a Venn Diagram, comparing and contrasting: Group and Individual Dating (need at least 3 examples in each section).
Discussion: List non-physical ways to show affection. How is affection related to respect? Can you have affection without respect? (You are not showing affection if you are disrespectful) Affection is a feeling of liking or fondness. People who feel affection for one another can show it in many ways.
Smiling or speaking cheerfully Complimenting Telling the person how much you like his or her company Send a kind card or letter Making a kind phone call Patting you friend on the back Showing empathy Listen to each others problems Give or get a hug Study together Go for a long walk and hold hands Do something nice for each other Put affectionate notes in locker or books for each other Telling someone how much they mean to you Cheering for them at a performance
Brainstorm a list of nice things to do for one another that show affection without engaging in sexual activity.
When showing affection, make sure your message is clear, understood, and respectful. Simple expressions are usually the clearest. Pay attention to other peoples responses Never offer affection in a way that is unwelcome.
Create a list of (5) ways to demonstrate affection. Give reasons of how it demonstrates affection for each one.
Limits Abstinence Sex Sexuality
Plan ahead- Going to a party- find out who will be there, adults supervising. Movies- how much money you will need, how are you getting home. Any date- decide what you will do, and how long.
Limits are invisible boundaries that protect you. Setting limits can help protect you from risky or unhealthy behaviors. ( Example-limits on tv for what you can watch- R and time limits) Limits are important when it comes to dating. Limits for: People you date Places you go Activities you do Transportation you take These limits will help protect you from getting hurt and avoiding sexual activity. Parents set limits because they love their children and want them to be safe.
Create a list at your table, for questions to ask before teens go on a date. Avoid risky situations- party with drugs and alcohol is risky. Someone might pressure you to suing harmful substances or doing something you do not want to do. Avoid being home along with a date or in an isolated spot. Movies that might suggest or encourage risky behavior between you and your dating partner are also best avoided.
Name current movies. Would these movies be good date movies? Why?
Make a list of adults you could talk too about setting limits in dating relationships. Suggest other way to demonstrate affection without involving sexual contact.
TV show- shows affection without engaging in sexual activity. Show one that they do engage in sexual activity. What messages are they sending to teen viewers? How do their actions affect their lives?
A way to show affection respectfully is choosing sexual abstinence. Abstinence is refusing to take part in an activity that puts your health or the health of others at risk. Teens who take responsibility for their health and care about choosing healthful behaviors, practice abstinence from sexual activity before marriage. Practicing abstinence shows that you respect your health and others. You may begin to feel strong sexual attraction toward another person, this is normal and healthy, but can be managed. Set limits Plan Ahead Avoid risky situations All of three will help you maintain self-control. Speaking with a trusted adult can also help. Adults can offer useful suggestions for dealing with your physical feelings and emotions.
What is the point of persuasion? What makes someone a good persuader? A poor persuader? What types of persuasion work best on you? Why might it be difficult to turn down someone whos trying to persuade you to do something? Many lines have been successful for years because the person receiving the line was unprepared, unaware, or well-equipped to say no.
You and your table will come up with lines to persuade someone into certain sexual behaviors: kissing, touching, intimate contact. You will also be coming up with lines to refuse them. This is a competition. I will bring in a judge to determine the winners. Be creative, original, humor is permissible as long as it is in good taste. You have about 10 minutes.
Judge persuasion lines: Most Original Most often used Most effective when participants are in love Most obviously a line
Judge: (refusal lines): Most original Most effective, least embarrassing Least sincere Least effective; it will never work Most effective way to say No
Skit: Write out a skit at your table using the award winning lines. Be creative, yet realistic. You can use one line or multiple lines. OR Create a rap, song, or poem using the lines. This activity helps you recognize lines. Practicing refusal helps it become easier to roll off the tongue when needed.
Contraception is the deliberate prevention of conception or impregnation by any of various drugs, techniques, or devices; birth control.
Each group focus on the contraceptive methods Write the name of the method and answer the questions on your worksheet Design a one minute television ad to market your contraceptive method to teens. What makes it effective and easy to use? Contain warnings about the product, health risks, and disadvantages Present your method to the class and advertisement Vote on the best advertisement and the healthiest to use. Conversations about birth control should take place before the heat of the moment
What is the most effective method? What is the difference between condoms and other methods of birth control? Why do you think people avoid condoms? How old do you need to be to buy condoms without parent permission? Which method prevents against STIs/HIV/AIDS? Can teens avoid disadvantages of contraceptives? How? The only way to protect yourself 100% is ABSTINENCE- other birth control methods only work 99% of the time, do you want to be the 1%?
Tell me about a method that works against unplanned pregnancy 100% of the time.
Handle That Crying
More and more teens are CHOOSING to abstain from sexual activity. Teens are also willing to talk about their decisions. Abstinence makes it easier to remain physically and emotionally healthy.
Show a clip of a TV abstinence program (One Tree Hill) Do you think that participating in abstinence program helps teens practice abstinence? Why or Why not? What are the most important advantages or abstinence programs?
Teens who practice sexual abstinence gain self-respect. Self-respect is the positive feelings you have about yourself when you live up to your beliefs and values. You learn your beliefs and values from your family, religion, and school. Many have been taught that sexual intimacy should occur only between a couple that is married. Most also believe the relationship should be built on trust, caring, and friendship, not just physical attraction alone. Teens that remain abstinent for these reasons honor their ideals. Some teens remain abstinent to show respect for the beliefs and values of parents and other family members (disappoint or hurt them).
Consequences are outcomes or effects that may occur as a result of a decision or an action. Sexuality activity among teens is likely to have several consequences (some with serious and long-lasting impacts on their lives): Unplanned pregnancy- most sexually active teens dont use birth control, or use it inconsistently. This can damage the physical health of the mothers, it can damage them emotionally and they arent financially able to raise a child. It can also prevent or hinder future goal
Hypothesize buying diapers for one year. How many times does a baby need to be changed during the first year? Estimate for first 32 weeks, and last 20 weeks. One pack of disposable diapers is=___. You would need___ packages. Buying diapers for the whole year would be____.
Sexually transmitted infections (STIs)- Sexually active teens fail to protect themselves from STIs. STIs can lead to lifelong health problems (HIV/Aids), increase the risk of cancers, pose serious health risks to future children, and even death. Explanation: Most sexually transmitted infections occur in teens and young people up to about age 25. Although it sometimes difficult to avoid catching the common cold and flu, there is an easy way to avoid catching sexually transmitted infections. Abstinence.
Emotional distress- The stress of lying and guilt of the behavior is painful. Teens might regret behavior that doesnt bring love, respect, or acceptance
Adopt a Parent
Peace of mind- Abstinence is the ONLY 100% effective birth control method, and it provides 100% protection against STIs. Self-respect- You are in control of your body. People will see you as confident and a responsible person Time for personal growth- Abstinence gives you time to pursue your interests and develop your talents and skills Healthy relationships- Abstinence let you avoid the pressure of a sexual relationship. Abstinent teens can develop meaningful relationships based on mutual respect and shared interests.
Use refusal skills. Say NO with your words, actions, and body language. Stick to your values Walk away Call for a ride home Try to avoid the situations You have enough responsibilities at school, home, and with friends. Sexual activity does NOT prove that you are grown and independent. You are showing more independence by choosing abstinence by protecting your health and future.
Sit girl and boy. Maintain eye contact and say responses confidently. Resist pressures: Youre the only one in the class who hasnt had sex If you really loved me, you would It would mean so much to me Is there something wrong with you? Responses: Thats not true. But that doesnt even matter. Abstinence is MY choice. If you really loved me, you would respect my decision. It would mean so much more to our relationship if we wait until we are married. There is nothing wrong with me. But if you think so, maybe we should stop seeing each other.
Make a contract with yourself in which you use goal setting for yourself to remain abstinent. 1.State your goal 2.List steps to help you reach your goal 3.Get help and support from others ( Name people) 4.Set up checkpoints to make sure you are staying on target 5.Reward yourself Example (p. 159 in the book)