Presentation on theme: "Healthy Relationships"— Presentation transcript:
1 Healthy Relationships Workbook2014FamilyBoy FriendsGirl FriendsFriendsAcquaintancesProvided by the Partnership 4 SafetyA Program of The Arc of Spokane
2 Healthy Relationships This is your Healthy Relationships workbook.This book is to help you to choose healthy relationships!It is easy to read so that many students can use it.It has coloring sheets because many people like to color when they are learning. You do not have to color the sheets.This workbook has pages on:Personal rulesDifferent types of RelationshipsHealthy FriendshipsHealthy DatingConsentPhone safetyFacebook safetyUnhealthy relationshipsRecognizing abuseWhat to do if you are being abusedEnjoy using your Healthy Relationships workbook!
3 Group Rules Group rules: Care for each person’s feelings Make it feel safe to talkMake it easy to be heardRemind us of how we want to treat othersRemind us of how we want to be treated!
4 Adult words for personal body parts Why doesn’t everyone use these words?Some people did not learn body part words.Some people think some body parts are “dirty”.Many people are embarrassed by sexual body parts.Why use adult words?Because you are a young adult, and these are adult wordsSo your doctor will treat you like a young adult.So the police will take you seriously.
5 What are Personal Rules? Your Rules tell other people how you want to be treated!Your Rules can be about:How close people can be to you.How much room do you like?-A lot of room? A little room?Your bodyWho gets to touch you?When do people get to touch you?Where do people get to touch you?
6 4. Why rules are important! 3. Your feelings;How do you want people talk to you?Nicely, with respect Or not nicely, with NO respect4. Why rules are important!Rules let YOU choose:Who you spend time withHow people should treat you.Rules help you choose who your friends are!
7 Your rules are IMPORTANT! My Personal RulesYour rules are IMPORTANT!
8 Teaching about your rules Who do I want to teach? Boys or girls at school, friends teachers, co-workers, supervisors How do I do it? 1. Sit up or stand up straight 2. Look into the other person’s eyes 3. Use a nice voice 4. Tell the person what you need them to do EXAMPLE: If you don’t like people to sit close to you – you could say “Please don’t sit so close to me” 4. Remember to say “Thank you”
9 1 2 3 Stopping Scary People When do I do it? Anytime someone makes you feel afraid.When you do not feel safe!How do I do it?Walk awayIf they bother youYell “go away” orBlow your whistleGo get helpWho can help?123
11 Healthy Relationships are an important part of life!Healthy relationships are like healthy food.They make you healthierThey make you strongerThey make your life better!Which foods are healthy?What can happen if you only eat unhealthy food?
12 Types of Relationships There are many types of relationships. How many can you think of?
13 RESPECT in a healthy relationship What does Respect mean to you?RESPECT is a CHOICE you makeIt’s not about liking peopleIt is about treating people like human beingsRESPECT is beginning of ALL Healthy RelationshipsRESPECT has to go both ways in a healthy relationship6. RESPECT must be IN a relationship from the BEGINNINGor it will never be in it AT ALL!!!
14 TRUST in a Healthy Relationship What does TRUST mean to you?TRUST is NOT the same as likingTRUST is NOT the same as respectTrust has to be earned!It talks TIME to trust peoplePeople must prove they are trust-worthyHonesttimedependabletimeTRUST
15 Friend or Acquaintance A Friend shares your hobbies and activities with youAn Acquaintance is just someone you knowAcquaintanceIs with you to do a job:Bus driverNurseCaregiverJob CoachPayeeFriendIs with you because:You do fun things togetherYou like each otherYou enjoy spending time together
16 Friend or Acquaintance? Most of the people I know are friends or acquaintances?
17 What do you want in a friend? Someone who shares your hobbies!Someone who enjoy being with you!Someone who supports you!4. Write down some of your hobbies or activities
18 Friendships take TIME It takes time to get to know a person. Take the time to learn about a person’s hobbies.It takes time to learn what a person likes and doesn’t like.It takes time to know if a person can be trusted!
19 In a Healthy Friendship You agree to be friendsYou treat each other with RESPECTYou feel happy, safe and cared forYou share the cost of activitiesYou are nice to each otherYou listen to each other
20 Are you ready to be in a Dating Relationship? You are ready to be in a dating relationship if:Neither of you are already marriedNeither of you are in another dating relationshipYou are close to the same ageYou are both old enough to be in a relationshipYou BOTH want to be in a dating relationship
21 Date or NOT date?Types of romantic relationship (Dating relationships)Boyfriend or GirlfriendHusband or WifeIn romantic relationships you:Go on dates togetherDo not date other peopleAre committed to each otherLearn A LOT about each otherMight hold hands or kissMight have sexHealthy dating relationships start as healthy friendships.Types of nonromantic relationships (NOT dating relationships)FamilyAcquaintancesCo-WorkersBus DriversEmployment SpecialistsPayee
22 What do YOU want in a Boyfriend or Girlfriend? Write down what is important to you!
23 What is a GOOD Girlfriend or Boyfriend? YesNo1Teases me and hurts my feelings2Stands up for me3Cancels our dates a lot4Picks fights with me5Hits me6Enjoys the same things I do7Accepts me the way I am8Supports me when I am down9Tells me who I can be friends with10Yells at me11Wants to know where I am ALL THE TIME12Calls me mean names13Respects me14Is jealous of my friends15Thinks I am cheating with other people16Scares your friends or family17Tells me I am stupid18Is a real friend19Does not make me do things
24 How much do I know?Take this quick quiz to find out how much do you know about your boyfriend or girlfriendWe have met in person Yes NoI know her/his hobbies Yes NoI have met his/her friends Yes NoI know what movies he/she likes Yes NoI know what activities he/she likes Yes NoI have met his/her parents or family Yes NoCount the yes and no answersI know about my boyfriend or girlfriend? Yes No???
25 In Healthy Dating Relationship Your rules are RESPECTEDSo…can I kiss you?No, I’m not ready for that yetOK
26 In a Healthy Dating Relationship You are HONEST with each otherYou can TRUST each otherYou RESPECT each otherYou do not feel forced to do anything-ever!
27 CHOICES in a Healthy Dating Relationship You share choices like:What movies to seeWhat friends to hang out withHow much you talk on the phoneHow much time to spend togetherYou both get to make choices in the relationship!
28 Good Communication its important! Talk about your rulesBe honest about your feelingsBe a good listenerFight fairNo temper tantrumsNo threatsNo name callingDo you want to go to the car show with me Friday?No, thank you. I don’t enjoy car shows . How about a movie instead?
29 How to have a difficult talk When you have something important to say:Pick the right TIME to talkWhen you both have the time to talkWhen your boyfriend or girlfriend is not busyPick the right PLACE to talkChoose a place where other people can not hear your conversationPay ATTENTIONDo not answer calls or textsBe CALM - do not talk when you are angry or upset
30 My rights in a Dating Relationship I have the right to:Relationships without violence.Not to be controlled other people.Have your own friendsChange your mind.Not be together all the timeStart slowly.Want physical closeness.Have your own activitiesChange the relationship when your feelings change.You always have the right to say, "No.“Modified from Teens Stopping Rape, distributed by United Learning, 1996.
31 Sex! Are you ready?Before having a sexual relationship it is very importantto ask yourself:What does sex mean to me?What are my values about sex?What are my family values about sex?What does my religion say about sex?Why am I thinking about it right now?Is someone pressuring me to do this now?What are some of the things that can happenPregnancySexually transmitted diseasesThis is an important decision!It might help to talk to someone you can trust
32 Am I ready Worksheet1. What does sex mean to me? 2. What are my values about sex? 3. What are my family values about sex? 4. What does my religion say about sex? 5. Why am I thinking about it right now? 6. Is someone pressuring me to do this now? 7 .What are some of the things that can happen 8. Who can I talk to about this important choice?
33 What is Consent?Consent is a word used in romantic or dating relationshipsIt means you are old enough to make the choice to have sexIt means you are ready for sex in a romantic relationshipIt means you have talked and your boyfriend or girlfriendIt means your girlfriend or boyfriend is ready tooIt means you BOTH know what could happen after sexIt means NO ONE is forced – EVER!Consent means talking first!
34 Consent has laws The Consent laws are important! Sixteen is the “age of consent” in Washington StateIf someone is younger than 16 they cannot consent to have a sexual relationshipBreaking the Consent laws can mean going to jail.Breaking the Consent laws can put you on a sexual predator list – for life!REMEMBER!!!If a person is not old enough – it is RAPEIf a person does not give consent – it is RAPEIf a person is forced to have sex– it is RAPE
35 Texting and Sexting Texting is a fun way to stay in touch! But it is NEVER OK to:3. Text you too many times a day4. Want to know where you are all the time5. Read your texts from other people6. Send scary or threatening textsIt is NEVER OK to SEXT:To ask for pictures of you in your underwearTo ask for pictures your breasts, bottom, pubic area or penisTo ask for naked pictures of youSend you pictures of their breasts, bottom, pubic area or penisTo send anyone pictures of YOUR breasts, bottom, pubic area or penis EVER!Information modified from lwww.ove is respect.org
36 What can you do? If someone is sending too many emails 2. Tell them that it is bothering you3. Tell them how often they can call you4. Do Not answer when they call5. Turn off sound so you do not hear call6 . Block their number8. Get help from a person you trust9. If someone sexts you10. Do not reply to the text11. Tell a trusted adult right away!
37 Facebook Safety To be safer on Facebook Don’t post your addressDon’t post your phone numberDon’t post your schoolDon’t post your birthdayKeep your password privateYou do not have to “friend” everyone who asksPeople can make up fake pages8. They can have fake pictures9 .They can have fake personal informationRemember- you can not control posts on other people’s pagesChange your privacy settings so that only friends can see your page
38 What is an Unhealthy Relationship? In an Unhealthy Relationship:A person uses violence to get their way.A person uses anger to scare the other person.A person forces the other person to do things.A person uses bribes to get what they wantMoneyFoodSpecial treatmentYou are SO stupid!!
39 In an Unhealthy Relationship There is NO respectYour Rules are not respectedYour Feelings are not respectedYour Property is not respectedYour Privacy is not respectedYOU are NOT respected
40 Jealousy is NOT love Love is: Jealousy is: Love says: Trust Fear AcceptanceRespectLove says:I trust youYou are honestYou are faithfulYou love meI respect youWE make decisions togetherLove is a 2 way streetFearEnvyControlJealousy says:I don’t trust youYou are not honestYou cheatYou don’t love meI don’t respect youI make all the decisionsJealousy is a DANGER sign of an Unhealthy Relationship
41 In an Unhealthy Relationship Only one person gets to make the decisions:Where to goWho to talk toWho to hang out withWhen to get physicalHow to spend moneyOne person has all the choices
42 ABUSE Happens in unhealthy relationships ABUSE is when someone pretends to care about youABUSE can be PhysicalAbuse can be SexualAbuse can be Emotional/VerbalAbuse can be FinancialWhy do I always have to pay for the movies?
43 Physical Abuse 1. Physical Abuse: 6. Physical abuse can be: 2. Is unwanted touching of you or your clothes3. Is used to scare you4. Is used to control you5. Physical abuse in a romantic relationship is called Domestic Violence6. Physical abuse can be:7. Scratching8. Punching19. Pulling your hair10. Pushing you11. Grabbing your clothing12. Forcing you to go somewhere13. Using a gun, knife, bat or other weapon14. Grabbing your face to make you look at themInformation modified from lwww.ove is respect.org
44 Sexual Abuse Sexual Abuse is Sexual abuse can be Being made (coerced) to do something sexualBeing forced to do something sexualBeing told that you do not have a choiceSexual abuse can beUnwanted kissingUnwanted touching of your sexual body partsForcing you to have sexThreatening you if you do not have sexThreatening to hurt your friends or family if you do not have sexHaving sex with a person who is not old enoughHaving sex with someone who is drunkInformation modified from lwww.ove is respect.org
45 Emotional/Verbal Abuse Emotional/Verbal Abuse is when someone uses:Scary non-touching behaviorsTo control youTo keep you away from your friends and familyEmotional/Verbal Abuse can be:Yelling or screaming at youCalling you names or putting you downNot letting you talk to family and friendsThreatening to hurt your pets or familyChecking up on where you are all the timeStarting rumors about youEmbarrassing you on purposeTelling you what to wearBlaming you for their own behaviorsInformation modified from lwww.ove is respect.org
46 Financial abuse/Exploitation Financial Abuse/Exploitation is:About your moneyWhen someone else spends your money on themselvesWhen you can’t get the things you need with your own moneyFinancial Abuse/Exploitation can be:Running up your phone billNot letting you see your bank recordsMaking you pay for other peoples clothes, food and rentWriting bad checks on your accountOnly visiting with you on pay dayWho could do this?Family membersPeople who call themselves your friendsNeighborsBoyfriends or girlfriendsInformation from Tracie Thompson /Arc Financial Management and
47 ABUSE IS NEVER YOUR FAULT What Can You Do?If you think you are being abused:Talk to someone you trustReport what happened to the policeReport what happened to Adult Protective ServicesFor help with sexual abuse Call Lutheran Community Services NorthwestFor help with domestic violence call the YWCAAsk for help from someone you TRUSTABUSE IS NEVER YOUR FAULT
48 Who are MY Trusted people? Trusted people are people who:Care about meAre adultsCan help meAre not the people abusing meSome trusted people might be:TeachersParents or GuardiansAdult Family Home staffEmployment support staffWrite down the names and phone numbers of people you trust
49 You Deserve Healthy Relationships Healthy Relationships make your life betterHealthy Relationships do NOT have abuse in themHealthy Relationships are a choice YOU makeMake the choice to have Healthy Relationships!
50 Some of the information in this workbook came from: Equality Wheel for Teens from the Nation Center on Domestic and Sexual ViolenceTeaching Children with Down Syndrome about their Bodies, Boundaries and Sexuality by Terri Couenhaven, MS, Woodbine house press atThe SCAR booklet published by Partners in Prevention Education atTracie Thompson –Director of Financial management/ The Arc of SpokaneFeedback for the workbook was provided by:The awesome students and teachers at:District 81 IMAGES programthe East Valley STAR programNorth Central STEP programMr. Holden’s class at Rogers HS