Presentation on theme: "The Center for Family Safety and Healing"— Presentation transcript:
1 The Center for Family Safety and Healing It’s Abuse: Teen Dating Abuse
2 Framing the Conversation What are you observing?In our society?In your community?With your students?
3 Dating Violence Common by 7th Grade: Survey Psychological and physical abuse is a common facet of dating for America's adolescents.Researchers who polled more than 1,400 seventh graders found that more than 37% of 11- to 14-year olds had been the victim of some form of psychological violence, and almost one in six said they were victims of physical violence while in an ongoing relationship.4th bullet shows some opportunities for intervention, learning opportunities to speak up about abusive thought processes.
4 7th Grade: Survey Cont.49% said they had been sexually harassed, either physically or verbally, by being touched inappropriately or joked about.7% percent strongly agreed that it was okay for a boy to hit his girlfriend under certain circumstances, such as "a girl who makes her boyfriend jealous on purpose." Interestingly, 50% strongly agreed that it was OK for a girl to hit her boyfriend in the same situation.
5 What is Teen Dating Abuse? Abuse is about...Power & Control… A pattern of behaviors whereone partner acts to obtain & maintainpower & control over the other partner
6 Extent of the Problem1 in 3 teen girls & 1 in 5 teen boys is a victim of TDA1 in 5 tweens say friends are victims of TDA & nearly half know friends who are verbally abused1 in 3 sexually active teen girls report experiencing physical or sexual violence from partnersOnly 33% of teens who were in a violent relationship ever told anyone about the abuse.(Teenage Research Unlimited, Technology & Teen Dating Abuse Survey, 2007; Teenage Research Unlimited, Teen Dating Abuse Survey, 2009; Davis, A., MPH. 2008; Decker, M., Silverman, J., Raj, A. 2005; Liz Claiborne Inc. 2005; Teenage Research Unlimited, 2008)
7 An Abusive Partner… Is usually first Possessive & Isolates the victim Uses Coercive Control to deny or restrict partner’s basic freedomsImposes control through patterns of coercive & assaultive behaviorMakes her fight for freedom of thought / actionBullies the victim into doing things she does/does not want to do or prevents the victim from doing what she wantsEntrapmentFeels Entitled to special privilege & perceives self as primary importance in the relationship (sense of superiority)Denies, minimizes or justifies behaviorBlames their behavior on herTells the victim it’s her fault that their behavior bothers herWhen talk about TRV, are talking about the perpNow how can someone have CC over a teen? Explain…
8 Types of Abusive Behaviors Types of Coercive ControlExamplesVerbalHumiliation, insults, put downs, constant blaming or dissatisfaction, yelling…Psychological/EmotionalPsychological torture, jealousy, crazy-making behavior, threats, intimidation…SexualUnwanted touching, reproductive coercion, forced sex, using alcohol or drugs to get sex…PhysicalHitting, slapping, punching, pinching, strangulation, shoving…DigitalControlling access to technology, excessive or unwanted text messages.
9 TDA Power & Control Wheel Harmful languageSocial StandingTechnologyIntimidationMinimizing, Denying, BlamingThreatsSexual Coercion, Assault, HarassmentExclusionPhysical Violence
10 Warning Signs of an Abused Teen Make changes in daily ritualsRetreat from school or activities and experience isolation or withdraw from friends/familyMaking changes in clothing/appearance or wear clothing inappropriate for the weather to hide marksHaving visible marks or bruisesExhibit anxiety, depression, or engage in substance abuse or other high risk behaviorsReceive excessive or unwanted texting, calls, or s
11 Warning Signs of an Abusive Teen Exhibit dependence on or obsession about gf/bfBe overly concerned with where their gf/bf is and with whom they are talking or spending time, may follow them or track their contact with othersMake excessive and/or unwanted texts, calls or s to the same personUse technology to stalk the person with whom they are involvedExhibit a controlling attitude toward others, or the person with whom they are involvedRationalize their monitoring, controlling, manipulative, violent or abusive behavior
12 Select YES or NO for each of the 10 questions. YES/NO ActivitySelect YES or NO for each of the 10 questions.You must pick ONE side.
13 All of your students are at risk for relationship abuse. YES/NO ActivityAll of your students are at risk for relationship abuse.
14 YES/NO ActivityAnger problems, drugs and/or alcohol are the reasons that your student is abusive.
15 YES/NO ActivityYour student is in a same sex relationship so they don’t have to worry about relationship abuse..
16 YES/NO ActivityIf your student was in an abusive relationship, she would just leave it.
17 YES/NO ActivityYour student will be safer as soon as she leaves an abusive relationship.
18 YES/NO ActivityYour student is likely to return to an abusive relationship, even if you help him leave it.
19 YES/NO ActivityMost parents believe that teen dating abuse isn’t an issue or admit that they don’t know if it’s an issue.
20 YES/NO ActivityIf your student is physically or sexually abused, she is six times more likely to become pregnant and three times as likely to get an STI.
21 YES/NO ActivityYou and your staff would be able to tell if someone is abusive just by looking at him/her.
22 YES/NO ActivityYour student is more likely to talk to their friends than someone like you.
23 Bottom Line: Your Role Recognize, Respond, Refer Safety Planning E sets all the rules and when Z breaks a rule, he retaliatesE says she’s immature, etc.
24 Tips for Talking with Victims/Survivors Do you feel safe in your relationship?Do you feel comfortable disagreeing with him/her?Do you feel you can spend as much time as you want with friends?I might have to tell the following people or organizations if you share details about abuse.I believe you.People care about you. It’s not your fault. Telling someone you have experienced abuse and need help doesn’t make you weak.
25 Safety PlanningBeing the target of someone else’s behavior is nothing to feel ashamed, judged or embarrassed about.I am concerned for your safety.You may be afraid the abuse will get worse if you tell someone. But it is actually likely to get worse over time on its own; being alone in this increases danger for you.
27 Barriers to Disclosure Feelings of shame or self-blameLow self-esteemLoss of trustUnaware that acts are inappropriate, confusionThreatsMay think abuse is normal/deservedBelieve professionals will not take them seriously
28 Barriers to Identification Lack of awareness of prevalence / severityNot knowing how to intervene or what to sayDifficulty dealing with victim’s emotionsToo busy / not enough time to deal with situation81% of parents don’t think that teen dating abuse is an issue or admit that they don’t know if it’s an issue
30 Reproductive Coercion Reproductive Coercion is defined as behaviors related to reproductive health that one partner uses to maintain power and control in a relationship.Explicit attempts to impregnate a partner against her wishesControlling the outcomes of a pregnancyCoercing a partner to have unprotected sexInterfering with birth control methods
31 Reproductive Coercion Resources There are a number of resources provided by Futures without Violence: Hanging Out or Hooking Up Resource Cards Futures Without Violence Toolkit:Ask for examples.exploring pregnancy intentions and behaviors of partners of sexually active adolescents may help to identify youth experiencing IPVCoercion: preventing victim’s reproductive choice
32 Prevalence, Power, Prevention Teens and TechnologyPrevalence, Power, Prevention
33 How digital technology is used to abuse and harass teens Power and ControlHow digital technology is used to abuse and harass teens
34 Power and ControlTeens with access to Internet on their smartphones are more likely to be sexually active and twice as likely to engage in sexual activities with someone they met online.50% of teens believe that computers and cell phones make abuse more likely to occur in teen dating relationships and make it easier to conceal from parents.
35 Power and Control1 in 3 teens say they are text messaged up to 30 times an hour by a partner or ex-partner inquiring where they are, what they are doing, and who they are with.1 in 4 teens has been called names, harassed, or put down by a partner through cell phones and texting.
37 Power and ControlOnly 9% of teens who are experiencing digital abuse seek help, and rarely from parents or teachers.Victims of cyber bullying were almost three times as likely to also experience digital dating abuse or harassment.LGBTQ youth reported much higher rates of digital dating abuse and cyber bullying than heterosexual youth.
39 Power and Control96% of teens experiencing digital abuse and harassment also experience other forms of violence or abuse from their partner.2.4x more likely to be PSYCHOLOGICALLY ABUSED2.5x more likely to be PHYSICALLY ABUSED5x more likely to be SEXUALLY COERCED
41 Prevention• Don’t respond to hostile, harassing, abusive or inappropriate texts or messages. Responding can encourage the person who sent the message. Your messages might also get you in trouble and make it harder to get a restraining order or file a criminal report. • Save or document troublesome texts as you may need them later for evidence in case you file a criminal report or ask for a restraining order. • Many phone companies can block up to ten numbers from texting or calling you. Contact your phone company or check their website to see if you can do this on your phone.
42 PreventionCircle of 6An app for iPhone and Android that aids in dating abuse prevention by connecting teens with a network of trusted friends using GPS technology, anti-violence hotlines, and other online resources.
43 PreventionOnWatchAn app for iPhone and Android that provides phone, text, and social media access to connect teens with their own network, school administrators, or emergency services.
44 PreventionOne LoveA screening tool for students, family and friends to assess risk in relationships. In addition, it provides access to resources designed specifically for high school and college students.
45 Prevention http://www.loveisrespect.org 1 in 4 teens in a relationship communicated with their partner by cell phone or text messaging hourly between midnight and 5 am.Teens can text “loveis” to for 24/7 chat support from peer advocates. In addition, the service offers tips about how to be safe on smartphones.
46 Love is Not Abuse Digital Dating Simulator PreventionLove is Not Abuse Digital Dating Simulator67% of parents were unaware that their teens had dating partners check up on them 30 times a day on their phones.
47 Additional Resources CHOICES – Crisis Hotline & Shelter (614)Huckleberry House(614)Text “SAFE” & your location to 69886BRAVO (LGBTQ Anti-Violence)(614)That’s Not Cool