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Harmful Relationships. What is your profile? Profile – A short description of a person. – The following profiles will help you learn : If you relate in.

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Presentation on theme: "Harmful Relationships. What is your profile? Profile – A short description of a person. – The following profiles will help you learn : If you relate in."— Presentation transcript:

1 Harmful Relationships

2 What is your profile? Profile – A short description of a person. – The following profiles will help you learn : If you relate in harmful ways If anyone who know relates in harmful ways

3 Type 1: The People Pleaser The people pleaser is a person who constantly seeks the approval of others. Constantly seeks approval from others Performs unhealthy behaviors at times just to please others (drinking Illegal activities) Viewed as doormat by others Blocks there own potential for relationships because of low confidence and self respect

4 Type 2:Enabler An enabler is a person who supports the harmful behavior of others Often denies that the other person is committing bad behaviors or refuses to believe it Makes excuses for the other persons bad behaviors like blaming one self for being put down Does not hold other person accountable for there behaviors

5 Type 3: The clinger A clinger is a person who is needy and dependent. The clinger feels empty and wants the constant attention of another person in order to feel better. Attention hungry Dominates much of other persons time Can be controlling at points Many times overwhelming to other person which then drives other person away.

6 Type 4: The Fixer A fixer is a person who tries to fix another persons problems. The fixer offers constant advice and might try to choose solutions for another person. Constantly trying to solve other persons problems May find solutions to other persons problems which takes up much of there time Not a very good listener mainly wants to give advice Not good in relationships because they tend to not listen

7 Type 5: The distancer A distancer is a person who is emotionally unavailable to others. There are a variety of ways in which the distancer can keep other people at arms length. Tends to not share feelings Tries to remain busy with other things to avoid getting more involved with relationship Has a hard time comitting to others.

8 Type 6: The controller A controller is a person who is possessive, jealous, and domineering. The controller seeks to have power over others. Possessive Controls other persons time Always trying to find out or tell where and what other person is doing Does not give other person space

9 Type 7: The Center A center us a person who is self- centered. The center is interested only in his or her own beliefs, attitudes, and ideas. Does not listen to others Controls most conversations Dominates choices in a relationship Does not provide needs of others

10 Type 8: The abuser An abuser is a person who is abusive. The abuser might choose verbal abuse. He or she might make demeaning remarks or threats. The abuser might choose physical abuse. May force sex acts May use physical force as threats Short tempered

11 Type 9: The liar A liar is a person who does not tell the truth. Other people might respond and behave based on the false information presented by the liar. Compulsive Causes distrust Creates distrust

12 Type 9: The Promise Breaker A promise breaker is a person who is not reliable. The promise breaker might arrange to participate in an activity with another person and then not honor the promise. Causes distrust Exhausting Causes other person to lose faith in them

13 Communication is the key Convo Keepers Ask questions Show interest Listen Respond Consider others ideas Encourage Be positive Eye contact Convo Killers Talk about oneself Lack of interest in what someone is saying Interrupts others Changes the topic Being a know it all Complaining Talking about others Avoid eye contact

14 Setting Guidelines For Dating Dating = Any organized social plans with someone of similar interested 1. Inform your parents 2. Parents know exact plans 3. Arrange for safe transportation (other parents) 4. Establish reasonable curfew 5. Establish your code of conduct 6. Establish a code of conduct for them

15 Developing a code Talk about your values and expectations Limit physical expressions of affection and let others know Do not date those who do not respect your code Agree to avoid alcohol and other drugs to limit unhealthy or dangerous situations Stay In public places Go on dates with other couples

16 What's responsible Responsible decisions are… 1. Promote health 2. Protect safety 3. Follow laws 4. Show respect for self and others 5. Follow parents guidelines 6. Demonstrates character (demonstrates sel control to act responsibly)

17 What Dating Related Choices Might Not Be Responsible?

18 Sharpen Your Dating Skills Not basing self worth on whether or not you can get a date Be confident enough to deny dates that involve drugs and alcohol Honor your dating commitments It is healthy to have more than one date (do not get physical) Exit a dangerous dating situation Be clear of dating expectations when giving a gift Be honest and kind when turning someone down for a date

19 Dating Abuse 101 Assault~ a physical attack or threat of attack Homicide~ the killing of a person Rape~ Sexual penetration without consent Violence~ Abuse used by one person in a relationship to control another. Aggressive Behavior~ The use of words or actions that are disrespectful toward others. Passive Behavior~ The holding back of ideas, feelings, and decisions.

20 Date Abuse Stages Build-up Phase- Frustration, anger, tension and even cruelty Explosion Phase- Abuse and intentional harmful touching of another person Honeymoon Phase- The victimizer has released anger. They now express shame remorse and even become caring giving gifts to win back trust

21 19% of teens in relationships say their partner has used a cellular device or the internet to spread rumors about 71% of teens regard boyfriends/girlfriends spreading rumors about them on cell phones and social networking sites as a serious problem. Nearly 1 in 4 teens in a relationship communicated with their partner via cell phone or texting HOURLY between 12 am & 5 am 68% of teens say boyfriends/girlfrie nds sharing private or embarrassing pictures/videos on cell phones and computers is a serious problem. 1 in 4 teens in a relationship say they have been called names, harassed, or put down by their partner through cell phones & texting. 1 in 3 teens say they are texted 10, 20, 30 times an hour by a partner keeping tabs on them

22 Watch Out Tech Abuse Disrespect using social media outlets Excessive non stop messaging texting harassment Online stalking Threatening to share pictures

23 Myths About Dating Violence Drugs alcohol make someone violent Myth: Drugs and alcohol possess potential to intensify emotions and decrease inhibitions (What holds us back from making bad decisions). Women are victims of violence more often than men FACT: The U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics reports that 95% of the reported incidents of assaults in relationships are committed by males.

24 Most of the time abusers will never get better because it is a learned behavior and cannot be unlearned. MYTH: Although it is uncommon for an abusive person to change and unlearn their behavior, if they acknowledge their behavior and want to change for themselves it can happen. However, no one can make them change, they have to make the decision for themselves. If a person stays in an abusive relationship, it must not really be that bad. MYTH: People stay in abusive relationships for a number of reasons: fear, economic dependence, confusion, loss of self-confidence, not recognizing that whats happening is abusive, belief that the abuser needs their help or will change.

25 Being Physical Discuss your limits to healthy mutual choices Make limits known Do not date those who dont respect your limits Avoid alcohol and drugs or those who use such There is only one you

26 Resources


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