Presentation on theme: "Responsible Relationships THINKING ABOUT DATING: Kayla has a close group of friends. Dan, one of her good friends, told her that he wants to date her exclusively."— Presentation transcript:
Responsible Relationships THINKING ABOUT DATING: Kayla has a close group of friends. Dan, one of her good friends, told her that he wants to date her exclusively. Kayla knows that Dans been sexually active in the past. She likes Dan but does not think shes ready for a serious relationship. Girls - Write a dialogue in which Kayla expresses her feelings to Dan Boys – Write a dialogue handling the rejection B Be honest and respectful Discuss opinions if the roles are reversed – Kayla wants to only date Dan. Dan is not sure he wants to be tied down to one person.
Why date? List some ideas- –Reasons Get to know each other Develop friendships Companionship & support Explore characteristics they would like in a future partner/spouse Some have to wait until they reach an age set by parents Shy people may delay dating Some prefer to develop many friendships instead Sex
Benefits of Dating Exposes you to different types of people Helps you determine whom you relate to easily Helps you in communication and solving disagreements Can enrich your life by finding emotional support during tough periods in your life Not uncommon for girls to ask boys out – teens face enormous pressures with the freedoms they have – unlike years ago. Some teens decide not to date: Priorities – the goals, tasks, values, and activities that you judge to be more important than others. -Can include focusing on family, school, athletics, or individual goals -Talking to your parents can be helpful deciding if you are ready t o date -Never feel pressured to do anything that goes against your values or your family values
Writing assignment – Who should initiate the dating process? What is your idea of a first date? What activities would be included? SETTING LIMITS Parents may set for your safety & health Curfew - Where you can go – Age of person you date - Nights you can go out - What you can wear?? Key Terms _ –Intimacy – Closeness between two people that develops over time –Infatuation – Exaggerated feelings of passion Question – Why is it important for you to set dating limits? Is it more important for males or females to set limits?
Positive dating relationships – based on mutual respect & caring - Identify some ways that teens can demonstrate respect for their dates. SETTING LIMITS 1.ABSTINENCE - Define & describe - Can you practice abstinence & still be intimate & express affection? - Self-Control – persons ability to use responsibility to over- ride emotions. - Sexual feelings – normal but need to control - Discuss positives/negatives of abstinence - What are some pressures teens may face - How do you control those pressures?
TIPS TO PRACTICE SELF-CONTROL & ABSTINENCE Set limits for expressing affection Communicate w/ your partner Talk to a trusted adult Seek low-pressure dating situations Date someone who respects & shares your values Dont put yourself in tough situations? Alcohol/drugs QUESTION: What characteristics do you look for in someone? - What is more important to you- physical or emotional traits?
REFUSAL SKILLS VERBAL: Clearly identify problem/issue State your thoughts & feelings about issue State what you would like to have happen instead Explain the results if the change in plans is made Explain the results if the change in plans is not made Be firm in your voice and clear in what you say NON-VERBAL: Your body language should match what you are saying. Stand tall, do not laugh, giggle, avoid nervous habits (fidgeting)
REFUSAL SKILLS – How do I say NO 9 ways to say NO and do things your way: 1.Blame someone else (Parent) 2.Give a reason 3.Ignore the request or pressure 4.Leave the situation**** 5.Say no thanks**** 6.Say no and mean it**** 7.Keep saying no 8.Make an excuse 9.Suggest something else to do A person with self-confidence will use because they are not a follower and afraid to say no when they know something is wrong or not for them. Are you one of these people??
Dating and family relationships- Cultural Differences AFGHANISTAN Taliban requires women to be completely covered by a veil & accompanied by a male relative when leaving the house. This is more common in the rural/tribal areas than the major cities. Does not apply to young girls Women do not participate publicly in major- decision making process – few rights under Taliban – obey orders of father, brothers, husband Shiites stress more rights for women both politically & economically – may freely choose husband DATING – unions are negotiated by families. Marriage is an obligation – Polygamy does exist but all wives have to be treated equally – not common in this day & age. Marriage between cousins is high except when trying to diversify the families social assets 2 families negotiate financial aspects of union – decide on trousseau (bride price & dowry) Engagement – female relatives of groom bring gifts to home of bride – Wedding = 3 day party – paid by grooms family – marriage contract signed, couple brought together
AFGHANISTAN (cont) Family –Basic Household= man-wife-his sons & their spouses/children – unmarried daughters Children/Teens – Respect/Obedience are important but so is initiative & self-confidence Males – important right of passage – circumcision – age 7 – duties include learning how to care for guests and hospitality Females – begin helping mom as soon as they can stand Both taught values of honor & shame and when to be modest Literacy is low – 5-10 % get formal education – reform is trying to increase this % Behavior – Young people address adults by title, public displays of contact between M & F are avoided. Men shake hands and put their rt. hand on heart. Direct eye contact by women is avoided, mostly in rural areas
CANADA M & F have perceived equal standing & status in Canadian society Women likely to live below poverty line, head single-parent household, and work in service sector Politics is limited for females, still male dominated Society is open with freedom of choice Various cultures practice their beliefs Marriage – Most choose freely without obligation Restricted by law to M & W – officiated same as in U.S. Have Common-law marriage –Informal declaration by partners –Recently extended to include same sex partners –Marriage celebrated similar to U.S. FAMILY – nuclear family –Newly weds start own family independent of theirs –Children/Teens – values/education similar to U.S. –Dating – free to choose
CHINA Western influence has changed view of women in China over time Presently, women have legal equality to men but still face social issues including spousal abuse and the selling of young women/girls as brides Dating – Some freedoms for teens, match making and arrangements by family still take place Marriage – Pragmatic approach - $$$-Standing- romance Grooms family pays for wedding –Western style weddings popular but expensive Women can get a divorce, but very difficult Family Life – Common for several generations to live under 0ne roof – in part due to old traditions & limited housing Woman will leave her house and become part of her husbands family – mother in law can treat harshly Oldest son will stay home and care for aging parents Children – very young age – they have responsibilities – education has become important I Chinese society Kids are taught respect for elders and to duty
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA Women have the same legal rights as men, access to B. Control & abortion, BUT, still paid less for equal jobs, under represented in politics & may suffer from lower self-esteem Dating – many different traditions due to diverse population. Typically, male and female decide – some cultural influences may take place. Parents may be involved in the process – factors???? –What is a typical first date in high school?? Engagement – again cultural influences may play a role- man usually asks permission of father of the female – length is usually determined by couple, time of year, finances, job security, age, etc. Marriage – is formally a civil institution but is commonly held in a church. Marriage customs will depend on the background of the couple and their families. Western (American) style marriages are big, lavish, expensive!!! Many types of unions take place in America, all have to be documented with marriage license
USA (cont) Family – nuclear family group is common, there has been an increase in single parent families and gay couple parents. Adoption is common but reproductive technology is highly valued. –Why?? Education – required for all kids – but home schooling has become more common in recent years College – personally choice based on career, money, desire, need. Behavior – Globally Americans are viewed as loud, crass, effusive Young kids are taught manners and to obey parents, but this can be cultural as well. American kids/teens can have a sense of entitlement and value independence.