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Chapter Eight Choosing Others: Dating and Mate Selection.

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Presentation on theme: "Chapter Eight Choosing Others: Dating and Mate Selection."— Presentation transcript:

1 Chapter Eight Choosing Others: Dating and Mate Selection

2 Why do We Date? Manifest Functions Fulfilled Maturation Fun and recreation Companionship Love and affection Mate selection

3 Why do We Date? Latent Functions Fulfilled Socialization Social status Fulfillment of ego needs Sexual experimentation and intimacy Big business

4 The Dating Traditions Gender role scripts – who does what Bat mitzvah and bar mitzvahrites of passage in the Jewish community. Proms Going steady and getting pinned were popular after WWII. What are the terms now? Going with or going together Hang out. Getting together Hooking up

5 Personal adspublished in mainstream magazines, on the Web, etc. Mail-order bridesMail-order brides 200+ international services Cyber dating & Online Matchmaking How Do We Meet People

6 How Do We Meet People? Professional matchmakersProfessional matchmakersmake a living by matching people up. Speed dating


8 Choosing Whom We Date: Choices and Constraints What constrains us when it comes to who we date?

9 Homogamy Homogamy refers to dating or marrying someone with similar backgrounds to our own. Why are we attracted to similarity?

10 Filter Theory According to filter theory, we use specific criteria and narrow number of candidates. What filters do you use?



13 Why Do We Date? Sociologists consider dating a marriage market in which the participants look at the assets and liabilities in each partner and decide which is the best for what they have to offer.

14 Whos Available Census Data Census Data – Whos available Whos Not in Prison? The Times interviewed parents Carl Harris and Charlene Hamilton, whose daughters grew up without a father. Mr. Harris, a crack dealer who received a 20-year prison sentence at the age of 24, was forced to abandon his family when he was locked up.

15 Results of Men In Prison Basically, I was locked up with him, she told the Times. My mind was locked up. My life was locked up. Our daughters grew up without a father. A man will have three mistresses, and theyll each put up with it because there are no other men around, Hamilton said. Epidemiologists believe the AIDS rate among African-Americans would be lower if the incarceration rate dropped.


17 Theories of Mate Selection Social exchange theory posits that people will begin and remain in a relationship if the rewards are higher than the costs. Equity theory an intimate relationship is satisfying and stable if both partners see it as equitable and mutually beneficial.

18 How We Evaluate a Relationship Outcome Level – satisfaction based on rewards vs. costs. Comparison Level – comparison with past relationships and others relationships Comparison Alternative Level – comparison with next best option (dependency) –OL + Clalt > CL = Happy and not dependent –OL > CL > Clalt = Happy but dependent –CL > OL > Clalt = Unhappy without alternatives

19 Relationship Violence When would you say I deserved that after someone to hit you?

20 Relationship Violence Survey of 200 teens, 46% said she was responsible.

21 Relationship Violence Types of violence Physical Emotional Sexual

22 Relationship Violence May come from jealousy May appear as pattern of control Controlling behaviors The narcissist

23 Cycle of Abuse 1.Honeymoon Phase 2.Tension Building Phase 3.Acting Out Phase 4.Honeymoon Phase



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