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Closing dajdhkafldjhf Addressing Dating Violence Sue Thomas, Manager, Business Development, Hazelden Publishing 1.

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Presentation on theme: "Closing dajdhkafldjhf Addressing Dating Violence Sue Thomas, Manager, Business Development, Hazelden Publishing 1."— Presentation transcript:

1 Closing dajdhkafldjhf Addressing Dating Violence Sue Thomas, Manager, Business Development, Hazelden Publishing 1

2 Closing Presentation Objectives Discuss the definition and severity of teen dating violence. Talk about the reasons why the rates of dating violence are so high among teens. Discuss steps schools can take to address dating violence. Introduce possible resources that schools can use to address dating violence. 2

3 Closing First, lets do an activity Ways I Want To Be Treated By A Dating Partner: (5 minutes) Step 1: Read the handout. Step 2: Two options in filling this out. Option 1: Do this exercise as if you were a typical teen. Option 2: Do this exercise for yourself personally, whether it be regarding a date or a long-term partner. Step 3: Discuss your answers with one or two people sitting near you. 3

4 Closing First, lets do an activity Ways I Want To Be Treated By A Dating Partner: RespectedNurturedTrustedSupported Taken care ofTreated equally Encouraged Protected Treated as an inferiorImpressedAmused/made to laugh Treated like a king/queenControlled Romanced ExcitedLovedProvided forCommitted to Treated honestly AbusedCared forNeeded ChallengedCheated on 4

5 Closing Talking about Caring Relationships Addressing dating violence should include a discussion about how teens would like to be treated in a dating relationshipwhat caring relationships look like. Teens have a choice about how they want to be treated. Developing caring relationships is an important life skill that not all teens learn at home. 5

6 Closing Dating abuse includes any behavior by a dating partner that Is used to manipulate Is used to gain control Is used to gain power over someone Makes a person feel bad about himself or herself or other people who are close to this person (family and friends) Makes a person afraid of her or his boyfriend or girlfriend What is the Definition of Dating Abuse?

7 Closing Dating abuse behaviors may include: Physical abuse Psychological or emotional abuse Sexual abuse It is important to realize that emotionally abusive behaviors can be just as hurtful as physically abusive behaviors What Behaviors are Involved in Abuse?

8 Closing Dating violence behaviors that are physically abusive may include: Hitting Pushing Pinching Throwing things Using a weapon Choking Shoving Pulling hair What Behaviors are Involved in Abuse?

9 Closing Dating violence behaviors that are psychologically or emotionally abusive may include: Ignoring a dates feelings Calling a person names Isolating a date from others Trying to scare a date Displaying inappropriate anger Keeping a date from leaving Putting down family and friends Threatening to hurt oneself What Behaviors are Involved in Abuse?

10 Closing Dating violence behaviors that are sexually abusive may include: Forcing a date to have sex Forcing a date to do other sexual things he or she doesnt want to do What Behaviors are Involved in Abuse?

11 Closing Cyber stalking To engage in a course of conduct directed at a specific person, by or through the use of electronic mail, causing that person substantial emotional distress and serving no legitimate purpose. What Behaviors are Involved in Abuse?

12 Closing What are some RED FLAGS that someone may be in an abusive dating relationship? Physical signs of being hurt Fear of the dating partner Being increasingly isolated from family and friends Changing behavior because of a partners jealousy Feeling embarrassed, put down, ashamed or guilty Being threatened (Others listed on the handout) Warning Signs or Red Flags

13 Closing What are some RED FLAGS that someone may be abusing a dating partner? Physically threatening assaulting a girlfriend/boyfriend Intimidating a dating partner Becoming angry if partner is spending time with others Asking dating partner to change behavior because of jealousy Verbally threatening your girlfriend/boyfriend Using guilt trips to get your dating partner to do something (Others listed on the handout) Warning Signs or Red Flags

14 Closing As educators, we should be aware of these red flags or warning signs and be prepared to intervene, if we see them. We should also teach students to know these red flags, because teens often will confide in a friend before they will confide in an adult. We Need to Know the Warning Signs

15 Closing (5 minutes) Read both scenarios on the Dating Abuse Scenario handout and talk about these questions with two or three people: 1. Is this an abusive relationship? Why or why not? 2. What are the red flags that this behavior might be abusive? 3. If this is the first time this has happened, is it still abusive? Lets Do Another Activity

16 Closing Both boys and girls are victims of abuse. Both boys and girls are perpetrators of abuse. Teenagers from all neighborhoods, income levels, and ethnic groups experience dating abuse. Dating abuse can happen to anyone in a relationship. Abuse almost always reoccurs in a relationship. It doesnt just go away. Most abuse gets more severe over time. Dating Abuse Can Happen To Anyone

17 Closing Nearly three in four tweens (age 11-14) (72%) say boyfriend/girlfriend relationships usually begin at age 14 or younger. (Liz Claiborne Inc., Conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2008) 62% of tweens (age 11-14) who have been in a relationship say they know friends who have been verbally abused (called stupid, worthless, ugly, etc.) by a boyfriend/girlfriend. (Liz Claiborne Inc., Conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2008) Why Should We Address Dating Violence with Teens?

18 Closing 1 in 3 teenagers report knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, choked or physically hurt by their partner. (Liz Claiborne Inc., Conducted by Teenage Research Unlimited, February 2008) A comparison of Intimate Partner Violence rates between teens and adults reveals that teens are at higher risk of intimate partner abuse. (Journal of American Medical Association, 2001) Why Should We Address Dating Violence with Teens?

19 Closing Females ages are more vulnerable to intimate partner violence than any other age groupat a rate almost triple the national average. (U.S. Department of Justice, 2001) 58% of rape victims report being raped between the ages of (Health Resources and Services Administration, 2002) Why Should We Address Dating Violence with Teens?

20 Closing Discuss these questions with one or two other people: (5 minutes) Question # 1: Why do you think the rates of teen dating abuse are so high? Question # 2: What would make teens more vulnerable to abuse? Activity # 3: Why Such High Rates of Dating Abuse Among Teens?

21 Closing Reason # 1: Teens may not take it seriously. They are new at dating; they think it is normal. They misinterpret it as a sign of love. There is a lot of pressure to be in dating relationships, even at a very young age; this makes it difficult to leave. Teens have less developed relational skills gender stereotypes are highest at this age. Possible Reasons Why Teens Have High Rates of Dating Abuse

22 Closing Reason # 2: Adults May Not Take It Seriously. Adults think they will just grow out of it. Most grow into a lifelong pattern of abuse if not addressed. Teens are afraid to talk to adults about this. For these reasons, adults need to be more proactive. Possible Reasons Why Teens Have High Rates of Dating Abuse

23 Closing Reason # 3: The legal system may not help. Most domestic violence laws do not include dating violence in their definition. Minors usually cannot file a civil case or ask for a restraining order without an adult appearing in court with themFlorida is an exception! Schools may be lax in enforcing a restraining order. Possible Reasons Why Teens Have High Rates of Dating Abuse

24 Closing What type of relationship qualifies? You are dating or used to date You are living with or used to live with You have a child with You are married to or used to be married In your immediate family You are related by blood or marriage Floridas Requirements for a Protection Order

25 Closing What type of abuse can result in a protection order? Physically abused you Attempted to physically abuse you Threatened to physically abuse you Sexually abused you Stalked you Unlawfully held you against your will Floridas Requirements for a Protection Order

26 Closing What age do you need to be to get a protection order? If you are 18 years old or older, you can obtain a protection order yourself without adult permission. If you are under 18, you can get a protection order by yourself without an adults involvement if you are dating the abuser. Floridas Requirements for a Protection Order

27 Closing How do teens get a protection order? If a teen qualifies for a protection order, they can go to court to file for a temporary order. After the hearing, the judge may grant the teen a temporary protection order which lasts 15 days. The judge may also schedule another hearing. At the full hearing, the judge may grant a permanent order that lasts as long as the judge orders. Floridas Requirements for a Protection Order

28 Closing What can be asked in a protection order? The abuser must stay away from the teens home, school, work, and other designated places. The abuser must stay away from family or household members. The abuser cannot contact or communicate directly or indirectly with the teen. Floridas Requirements for a Protection Order

29 Closing What can be asked in a protection order? Exclusive use of the residence Temporary child custody and visitation Temporary child and spousal support Abuser must not use and must surrender all firearms Counseling for the abuser at his/her own expense Floridas Requirements for a Protection Order

30 Closing What does a protection order cost? It is free Schools should take protection orders seriously and enforce them! Floridas Requirements for a Protection Order

31 Closing Chris Brown and Rhianna Stories of Dating Abuse

32 Closing Lindsay Ann Burke Rhode Islands Lindsay Ann Burke law was the first of its kind in the U.S. Requires schools to have a policy for responding to dating violence and to provide dating violence education to students, parents, and school staff. Stories of Dating Abuse

33 Closing Stories of Dating Abuse Tiffany Barwick Ocala, Florida

34 Closing Activity: Should I Stay or Go? Step # 1: I will read you a story. Step # 2: If you feel you would want to stay in the relationship, remain seated. Step # 3: If you feel you would want to leave the relationship, you should stand. Why do people stay in abusive relationships??

35 Closing Why Do People Stay? The abuser apologizes and promises to not abuse again. The person being abused may be in denial. Teens may think this behavior is a normal part of a relationship. The abused becomes more and more isolated from those who could help. There is a fear that the violence might escalate if they leave. Means of protecting the abused are not enforced.

36 Closing Barriers To Getting Help Fear of hurting their dates feelings Fear that the friend they confide in will tell them to end the relationship Fear of losing their independence from their parents Fear of getting into trouble with their parents Fear that people will not understand, will blame them, or wont believe that it happened

37 Closing Barriers To Getting Help Not knowing how or where to get help Fear of retaliation from a dating partner Not knowing how to leave or improve the situation Fear of being judged Not trusting that what is said will be kept confidential Not wanting to admit there is a problem

38 Closing What Should Schools Do About Dating Violence? Set clear school policies about reporting dating abuse or violence of any kind, whether it occurs on campus or not. Work to create a school environment where respect and responsibility are promoted. If a student has obtained a restraining protection order or other court order due to dating abuse, take the situation seriously and proactively enforce the order on campus.

39 Closing What Should Schools Do About Dating Violence? Train staff to recognize signs of dating abuse and intervene appropriately. Teach a curriculum about dating abuse. Host a schoolwide dating abuse campaign. Involve students in the campaign. Educate parents about the issue. Make dating abuse resources in the community available to students.

40 Closing Florida Dating Violence Resources Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence Domestic Violence Hotline TTY Hotline

41 Closing Florida Dating Violence Resources Florida Department of Health Sexual Violence Prevention Program 4052 Bald Cypress Way, Bin # A-13 Tallahassee, Florida Telephone: (850) Education/Campaign resources

42 Closing National Dating Violence Resources National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline loveisrespect.org National Domestic Violence Hotline SAFE (7233)

43 Closing Other Dating Violence Resources Choose RespectCDC Site National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center Break the Cycle Other resources that you would recommend?

44 Closing Highly engaging and interactive, Safe Dates helps teens recognize the difference between caring, supportive relationships and controlling, manipulative, or abusive dating relationships. In 2006 Safe Dates was selected for SAMHSAs National Registry of Evidence-Based Programs and Practices (NREPP) after receiving high ratings on all criteria for strength of evidence and ease of replication.

45 Closing Raise students awareness of what constitutes healthy and abusive dating relationships Raise students awareness of dating abuse and its causes and consequences Equip students with the skills and resources to help themselves or friends in abusive dating relationships Equip students with the skills to develop healthy dating relationships, including positive communication, anger management, and conflict resolution Safe Dates Goals

46 Closing Characteristics of the Safe Dates Program Targets primary and secondary prevention Aimed at preventing both victimization and perpetration Considers both boys and girls to be potential perpetrators and victims Theoretically and empirically based 46 Safe Dates Characteristics

47 Closing Curriculum – nine sessions, fifty-minutes in length Includes: A 3-ring binder with extensive teaching guide and reproducible student materials Dating abuse play and poster contest Includes: A script, helpful hints for presenting, and sample flyers Parent materials Includes: An introductory letter about Safe Dates and parent newsletters Teacher training materials Includes: An agenda and training outline for a 3-hour session Safe Dates Components

48 Closing Schools Domestic Violence Centers After school programs Boys & Girls clubs Treatment programs Juvenile justice settings Safe Dates Settings

49 Closing In schools and communities… Over 3,000 Safe Dates curricula have been sold since it was published in all 50 states in nine Canadian provinces and seven countries other than the United States and Canada Where is Safe Dates Being Used?

50 Closing Topics Covered in the Curriculum Session 1: Defining caring relationships Session 2: Defining dating abuse Session 3: Why do people abuse? Session 4: How to help friends Session 5: Helping friends Session 6: Overcoming gender stereotypes Session 7: Equal power through communication Session 8: How we feel? How we deal? Session 9: Preventing sexual assault 50

51 Closing Safe Dates Outcomes In comparison to controls, adolescents exposed to Safe Dates reported from 56% to 92% less dating violence victimization and perpetration four years after exposure to Safe Dates. 51

52 Closing Visit For More Information on Safe Dates

53 Closing Other Dating Violence Curricula or Programs Other Key Programs: Break the Cycle: Domestic Violence 101 Love is Not Abuse Curriculum The Fourth R Aggressors, Victims and Bystanders

54 Closing mm. Any Questions or Comments??


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