Love and dating
What is love? Love is a strong affection for another person.
Two types of love Romantic love: is the exhilarating feeling, head over heels in love Mature love: is long lasting, caring, and giving type of love
Infatuation vs. love Based on instant desire Physical
Lacks confidence and trust in the other commitment Accepting of one another’s flaws Based on sharing interests and ideas Trusting and secure
Why do we date? In our society dating leads to engagement, marriage and children. Dating is also a learning process. It provides us with experiences that help us better understand ourselves as well as others.
Functions of dating Understanding of others Understanding yourself
Providing companionship Improving communication skills
Functions of dating Learning to negotiate Learning to be responsible
Evaluating personality traits
Dating There are many different types of dating
Each has their pros and cons Formal dating: when one person invites another to planned event. Informal dating: two or more people agree to meet and spend time together in a relaxed environment.
Types of dating Group dating: several boys and girls spend time together, developing friendships with those in the group. Pro/Con
Pair dating: a couple will develop a relationship with each other.
Steady dating: is commitment to date only one person.
Double dating: can be good transition from group dating to pair dating.
Random dating: a person dates more than one person at a time.
Healthy vs. unhealthy A healthy relationship should bring more happiness than stress into your life. Every relationship will have stress at times, but you want to prevent prolonged mental stress.
Signs of a healthy relationships
Take care of yourself and have good self- esteem independent of your relationship Respect each other's individuality Maintain relationships with friends and family
Have activities apart from one another
Are able to express yourselves to one another without fear of consequences Feel secure and comfortable Do not worry about violence in the relationship Trust each other and be honest with each other
At times all relationships will have some unhealthy characteristics. However, unhealthy relationships will exhibit these characteristics more frequently and cause you stress and pressure that is hard to avoid.
Put one person before the other by neglecting yourself or your partner
Pressure to change who you are for the other person Worried when you disagree with the other person Feel pressure to quit activities you usually/used to enjoy
Where and when should you seek help for your relationship
Where and when should you seek help for your relationship? Discuss in group.
Video on unhealthy relationships
Ending a relationship Ending a relationship can be very difficult and painful. It is usually one sided- one person wants to move on and the other doesn’t
Tips for ending a relationship
Realize your partner will feel hurt. There might be anger and resentment, but remember time heals all wounds.
Change your dating patterns
Spend time at places where your ex is not for a little while. It will avoid confrontation and hurt feelings.
Recognize your feelings as normal
Feelings of pain and loneliness don’t mean you made the wrong decision. They are part of the grief process when it comes to ending a relationship.
Emphasize other aspects of your life
Keep yourself busy on other things. Learn a new hobby. Reconnect with old friends.
Discussion: is it ok to break up with someone over the phone, through text, or social media? Talk about it with your group, then vote on whether you think it is ok or not.
5 non-negotiables What are 5 things a person must have for you to be in a relationship with them. i.e. must be a non-smoker
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