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LOVE & SUPPORT Helping your child succeed in school (and life) Mrs. CJ Fisher & Mrs. Katie Brown ELL Family Night, 12/12/12 Shuksan Middle School.

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Presentation on theme: "LOVE & SUPPORT Helping your child succeed in school (and life) Mrs. CJ Fisher & Mrs. Katie Brown ELL Family Night, 12/12/12 Shuksan Middle School."— Presentation transcript:

1 LOVE & SUPPORT Helping your child succeed in school (and life) Mrs. CJ Fisher & Mrs. Katie Brown ELL Family Night, 12/12/12 Shuksan Middle School

2 Why Weve Gathered Tonight Families attitudes and actions can ensure students success. Families will gain practical strategies for supporting their child's learning and success at school Families will choose two learning actions to try at home Families will learn that other parents face similar difficulties at home and feel a sense of community.

3 Truth #1 #1. Children need love and support before they need academic tutoring

4 What leads to student success? Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, Dr. John Gottman "Studies show that children who feel respected and valued in their families do better in school, have more friendships, and live healthier, more successful lives.

5 Support = showing empathy What it is: Empathy is an understanding what a child feels It is a true understanding that the task is difficult. You dont have to agree to empathize POSSIBLE ACTION What it sounds like: "Yes, it will probably be a tough [assignment] today. C'mon, let me help you get ready." youthsports.rutgers.edu

6 Support = speaking love & encouragement On average, we have 20 minutes a day to… register a complaint, a command, or a request for assistance As kids grow older, the ratio of negative to positive comments appears to increase POSSIBLE ACTION Try to up your ratio of positive to negative comments. 4:1? 5:1? 8:1? The number doesnt matter… the impact is what matters. familyeducation.com

7 Words that make kids feel great Yes Good Fine Very good Very fine Excellent Marvelous Thats right Correct Wonderful I like the way you do that Im pleased with (proud of ) you Thats good Wow Oh boy Very nice Good work Great going Good for you Great effort Thats the way Much better O.K. Youre doing better Good idea What a clever idea Thats it Good job Great job controlling yourself I like the way you ______ I noticed that you ____ Keep it up I had fun ______ with you You are improving at ______ more and more You showed a lot of responsibility when you ______ Way to go I appreciate the way you ______ You are great at that Youre the best Good remembering Thats beautiful I like your______ I like the way you ______ with out having to be asked

8 Truth #2 Families do play a critical role in students academic success as strategic coaches, not demanding bosses Yes!

9 ATTITUDES OF SUPPORTIVE FAMILIES Praise kids for working hard, not for being smart Brain Rules Brain Rules by Dr. John Medina What can happen when we praise kids for being smart? Encourage personal best Personal best does not mean perfect Learning is not the same thing as high grades We all need the freedom to learn from our mistakes Show interest in school work Avoid nagging and over-interrogating about home work Here are some more great ideas….

10 Show Interest In School by… Talk about school each day. Ask to see class work. Listen to your child read aloud Read to and with your child from a variety of material in your first language. Contact teachers for Wednesday meetings

11 ACTIONS OF SUPPORTIVE FAMILIES Help set goals. GradesActivitiesBehaviors Organize with your child. Backpack Agenda/ Planner Binder Establish homework routine Same place and time every day Support 100 % attendance Attendance linked to graduation rates

12 Truth #3 All families experience academic and school difficulties. There are many resources (other parents included) to help solve specific problems.

13 ADVICE FROM Help on the Home Front for Disappointing Grades, from Getting to Calm by Dr. Laura Kastner Dont make it worse. Keep a positive relation- ship. Link homework and good grades to social freedoms or to temporary prizes. Organize the home space.

14 Teens may need their parents help in planning, organizing and persisting. Intrude as little as possible Help a disorganized teen manage his social and athletic life to include a time and place for concentrating on schoolwork. POSSIBLE ACTION Decide on a block of time for home study hall Limit access to media. Figure out the best location Determine whether parent coaching will be effective Consult with teachers or school counselors, who may have additional ideas and insights into the problem.

15 Strategies When Grades Slip Make a plan with your students input Make homework time, learning time Ask for help

16 Make a plan with your students input. They wont do it, if they dont buy in. What plan can you create with your student to improve grades? POSSIBLE ACTION Create a homework contract with your student Use it for a limited time Monitor Check in Adjust Celebrate Getting to Calm (Kastner, p. 213)

17 Make homework time, learning time. How can you respond if your student says, I dont have homework! POSSIBLE ACTION Make study time a priority Use Learning Time Checklist or other resources for additional learning activities

18 Reach out for help. Since all families experience these problems, there are many, many resources. POSSIBLE ACTION Use problem/solution cards for strategic intervention Call your students teachers Join a parent class like Strengthening Families

19 Truth #4 Sometimes, we all benefit from taking a step back.

20 The Big 10 Characteristics of a Successful Teen Motivation and drive Practical reasoning and judgment Moral attentiveness and character Emotional awareness Healthy habits Self-control and emotional management Social skills Communication skills Intellectual interests and abilities Spiritual awareness Getting to Calm (Kastner), p. 225

21 How can we set up our students for success in life? Getting to Calm (Kastner), p. 225 Focus on an authoritative and warm relationship with students View intellectual interests as only one of a whole set of developing characteristics

22 What are some take-aways from tonights discussion? *Lets review our checklist. Select 2-4 strategies you would like to start using with your student. *Write a note of encouragement. If youd like to take a moment to connect with your student, blank note cards are available. *Thank you for attending tonight. This presentation and other handouts will be available on Shuksans webpage in the Families section. Please contact any Shuksan staff member with any questions or concerns.

23 Resources These resources were consulted in the preparation of this class U.S. Department of Education Brain Rules by John Medina Beyond Smart by Linda Morgan Getting to Calm by Kastner & Wyatt Parent to Parent videos on King 5 or at parentmap.com 40 Developmental Assets for Adolescents The Lawrence Hall of Science at UCAL, Berkeley support


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