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language of poets, romantic novels and mystics, art and music descriptive of its exquisite rhapsodies it is in the realm of the unknowable, the unimaginable.

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Presentation on theme: "language of poets, romantic novels and mystics, art and music descriptive of its exquisite rhapsodies it is in the realm of the unknowable, the unimaginable."— Presentation transcript:

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2 language of poets, romantic novels and mystics, art and music descriptive of its exquisite rhapsodies it is in the realm of the unknowable, the unimaginable too large, too deep to be limited by the framework of words

3 needs to be unpacked as part of the repertoire of human behaviour much more than feeling love is volitional has the potential to be misused and abused complex and amorphous human experience

4 love God – love mud cake love the bush – love my wife sacrificial love making love love your enemy falling in love

5 uniquely religious connotation God is Love ……Love is God is the summumbonum human loves that become gods do not remain loves although still called so (C.S.Lewis) such loves become demons discounted by the empirical sciences sacrilegious to dissect

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7 parenting instinct independent of biological sex taken for granted and can rub along paradox of need-love and gift-love desperate desire and demand for love threatened by change destructive violation of boundaries

8 least natural, least instinctive and uninquisitive exalted in ancient/medieval times: trivialized in some contemporary societies the focus is not the individual but a common intent provides mutual affirmation and companionship offers emotional and physical support potential to create dependence and unrealistic expectations school of virtue or vice

9 sex- a legitimate expectation physical closeness mutual pleasuring highly valued degrees of exclusiveness depth of emotional sharing commitment to parenting trust and risk risk of fusion illusion

10 awareness of our brotherhood/sisterhood acceptance/validation of difference divergent thinking and open dialogue genuine concern for oppressed, deprived marginalized commitment to action and reconcliation dangers of bias and stereotyping manipulation for personal gain and reward

11 Gods love of humankind and the cosmos human loves at best can only be glorious images of Agape it is something humans can strive towards but never quite get to in this life

12 self worth, self esteem, self efficacy autonomous self care for self discovering ones unique potential awareness of strengths and weaknesses making growth oriented choices based on self sufficiency not deficiency risks of self centeredness and narcissism

13 the human race is programmed to fall in love why we fall in love and how we fall in love romantic love is universal as well as a many splendoured body language falling in love with love stimulated by brain chemicals – phenylethylamine (PEA), dopamine similarities between love and obsessive- compulsive disorder- serotonin imbalance

14 INTIMACYPASSION COMMITMENT LOVE Love as socially constructed is composed of certain thoughts, feelings and actions [Sternberg, 1989]

15 closeness trust respect, high regard bondedness connectedness companionship sharing

16 desire romance attraction, physical affection affiliation sexual interaction

17 decision boundary setting investment goal setting choice power positive interactions

18 love is to be found at the intersection of these components; it is a complex whole differ in terms of their properties differ in terms of stability and predictability differ in terms of control and awareness differ over time within a single relationship differ across relationships at a given time differ in terms of psycho-physiological involvement

19 BEING LOVE freedom responsibility space trust empowering letting go DEFICIENCY LOVE demanding possession jealousy resentment manipulation dependence

20 to love is to be vulnerable love is much more than an enthusiastic emotion love is learned and maintained through ceaseless practice love cannot be bought or sold love cannot be weighed or measured love cannot be captured or held love is about making choices to be loved you must be lovable

21 Falling in love is one of the greatest risks any one of us can take. There is no safety net for this high-flying circus act. You rely on the other guy in Spandex to be there to grab your hands mid air. Sometimes they are just not up to it. Or the timing is all wrong. Or they are off with the sword-throwers assistant. So you better start learning to flap Kathleen Noonan –Courier Mail

22 Thank You !


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