7Finding a child’s primary love language is important! Over time, a child’sprimary love languagemay change.With children underage 5, you might notbe able to figure outtheir primary love language.
8Understanding Languages of Love Caregivers do need to speakall 5 love languages to keepthe emotional tank full.If you have several children,chances are they speak different love languages and need to be loved in different ways.
9How did you know an adult loved you when you were younger?
10Languages of Love ♥ Physical Touch ♥ Words of Affirmation ♥ Quality Time♥ Gifts♥ Acts of Service
11#1 Touch High fives Hugs Bear hugs Kisses Pats Soft strokes Massage SnugglingRiding piggybackContact sports
12If you were to ask, “How do you know ____ loves you?” “I know my mommy loves me because sheis always hugging me… and my friends.”(A Book of Hugs)“Mr. Cassidy alwaysgives me a high fivewhen I see him.”
13Physical Touch Infants, toddlers, school age children - need lots! Boys 7 -9 years old - mayresist hugs and kisses butstill need physical contact(wrestling, bear hugs, high fives,playing sports, running yourhands through their hair)Adolescence - Boys and girls pull back but don’t hold back touches.Girls need more expressions of love from dads during this time (if not, they will seek it out from another man).
14Touching Some need personal space Read body language Ask if you can Pull back?Ask if you can
15and this is their love language, you will hurt them very deeply. If you use physical touch as an expression of anger or hostility, (spanking)and this is their love language,you will hurt them very deeply.
31In a school setting adults show this love language by being a: Teacher that stays after school.Volunteer that comes in to read.Staff person whocomes out to afterhour school events.
32When you spend time with a child, you create memories for a lifetime.
33“My dad comes to my soccer game and we go out for a smoothie afterwards.”“Mom took just me fishing.”∞Plenty of time to talk
34Time Plan for quality time One-on-one time with each child LunchCamping tripOne-on-one time with each childBe excited to see them! Find time when you are relaxed and upbeat (not exhausted).
35Quality vs. Quantity Eye contact Smile ☺ Really be with them Are you ignoring me?Often use in negative waySmile ☺Really be with themQuality conversationAsk specific questionsGive examples from your dayTry storytelling
36Parents - Do ANYTHING! Watch a movie Read a book Trip to the store Finger paint withchocolate puddingDance togetherGo to a jump houseGo mermaid hunting
37Ask “If you could do something special with mom/dad, what would that be?”flash light tagKeep it simple, make it fun! (KISMIF)
41# 4 Gifts Has little to do with the size and cost Not to be a payback or bribeAvoid a guilt gift(going overboard is not the cure all)Should be personal, know/learn interest of the childTangible, visual reminder, “I know your thinking about me.”
42A child would say…“Mom bought me new school clothes.”“My dad bought me a baseball glove.”“Grandpa broughtme a rock fromYellowstone Park.”
44Receiving Gifts Children whose primary love language is gifts will: Make a big deal about receiving the giftWant the present wrapped or given in a creative wayWill talk about how it is wrappedFeel very special when opening it and want your undivided attention while opening itMake a special place for the gift and want to share or show it to friendsIt will not matter if the gift was bought, made, or found. What matters is that you thought about them!
45DivorceThe expensive present will notmake everything better.
46No meaning Child becomes “emotionally dead” to receiving Too many gifts?No meaning Child becomes “emotionally dead” to receiving
47# 5 Acts of Service Whom do you serve? Kids, parent, employer,spouse/significant other,church, organizationIt is physically and emotionally demandingto provide acts of service.
50What can you teach a child? To serve people who are in no way ableto return or repay the kindness.Having a bad dayDifferentDisabledDisadvantaged
51I know my mom/dad/grandma loves me because…. She always helps me with my homeworkHe fixes my bikeHe takes me tomy karatelessonsShe makes mechocolate chip pancakes on Saturdays
52Make service age appropriate Do for your children what they can not do for themselves initiallyAs they are ready, teachthem how to servethemselves and others(make the bed, laundry,cook, put clothes away,hang up jacket, etc.)
53Recognizing Acts of Service As children mature, they increasingly notice what is being done for them and are also aware of what has been done in the past.They will also noticewhat adults do forother people and willwant to participatein work projects too.
54When your child’s primary love language is service Remember when they ask for your help(“Can you fix this?”)they are asking you to do more than a task,they need you to fill their emotional love tank.This does not mean you jump at every request.It does mean that you should be more sensitive to those requests and recognize that your response will either fill or empty their emotional tank.
55Role Model Set a good example in public and private. Keep your word. Respecting othersDon’t forget yourPleaseThank youI'm sorryKeep your word.
56(While a child is doing homework) You can model reading and studying
57Hosting others in you home HospitalityHosting others in you home
58Help your child foster positive relationships with friends, siblings and membersof the community.
59Be a child’s advocate!DaycareSchoolFrom a bullyFamilyNeighbors
60Acts of service to selfTeach that you need to take care of your body bytaking care of YOUR body.Ask yourself:Do I have down time?Do I make time to do things I enjoy?Am I getting enough sleep?How is my nutrition?Am I finding ways to fit exercise intomy routine?Do I have high self esteem and talkhighly of myself?When was the last time I laughed?
61American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) A child's health depends significantly on thecare and guidance you offer during his earlyyears. Regular check ups, keeping him safe fromaccidents, providing anutritious diet, andencouraging exercisethroughout childhood, youhelp protect and strengthenhis body.
62Sleep Needs Infants 14 – 18 hours Toddlers 11 hrs plus a two hour nap Preschoolers 11 – 12 hrs(average 8.7 at night and 9.5 with a nap)School age 10 – 11 hoursAdolescents 9.25 hrs (average 6 hr 50 min)Adults 8.25 hrs (average 6 hr 54 min)
64How can you tell? Observe how a child expresses love to you and to others.Listen to what a childrequests most.Notice what a childmost frequentlycomplains about.Give a child a choice between two options.
68When they act out they are saying, “Do you love me?”Help children learn to identify and express anger. Teach appropriate ways.
69Stove Black, pink (problem to solve), red, red hot How big an ice cube do you need to cool down?69
70Adults must have a handle on their anger. Anger and LoveAdults must have a handle on their anger.
71If you make a mistake, admit it. Apologize Kids can be very forgiving.
72Single parenting and love languages Love tank has been ruptured.Help a child process grief.DenialAngerBargainingMore angerParents are also grieving and need time as well.
73Teenage yearsVery vulnerable time They need premium fuel
74Music When you sing, you use more brain tissue. Creates connections in the brain.Music creates emotional memory.Physical Touch and singSing Words of AffirmationSing while spending Quality TimeGifts of musicMusic Acts of ServiceCaroling
75Can you see how this applies in your adult relationships as well? Might better understand family members, friends and co-workers.
76Does this explain a misunderstanding you have had?
77What is one way you can speak your child’s love language? ___________________________________
78If I had my child to raise all over again, I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later. I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less. I would do less correcting and more connecting. I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes. I'd take more hikes and fly more kites. I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play. I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars. I'd do more hugging and less tugging.~Diane Loomans, If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again