Presentation on theme: "NOVEMBER 2008 Gareth and Micaela. Is it a year since the sun grew cold and sound ceased? Isnt a day like a year and time just a merging with eternity,"— Presentation transcript:
NOVEMBER 2008 Gareth and Micaela. Is it a year since the sun grew cold and sound ceased? Isnt a day like a year and time just a merging with eternity, and a now and a before and days taking flight into history with lines of happiness and sadness so fine and blurred? Each tomorrow proves that we have coped with yesterday in our new-normal, where the world is so changed that we barely recognize it. The way of hope is narrow and lifes transience renders us but pilgrims passing through, purposed and prepared. Grief an uninvited companion, offers no solace in suffering but is generous with agony, anguish, despair, desperation and darkness, with tears in quiet places and when least expected. Tears being the balm that soothes as bodies bend with the heartache and burden of it all; gnawing grief dictating its stages relentlessly and without respite. Mourning working its rite of rituals through each sad, slow, stark, still day – the scattering of ashes, commemoration of special days and personal rituals of remembrance, reminders, reminiscences. Why is pain so painful; sorrow so sad, heartache so all consuming and grief so desolate? Why is agony so Young and loss so Tiny?
There is the Shepherd Who watches over us as we endure the triune suffering of soul (in this strange duality of existence, where we can smile while our hearts cry and be still and quiet even as our minds scream); of spirit (where only the Spirit can move so deeply within ones regenerate inner-being without hurting and Who reveals that peace is not the cessation or absence of grief and pain – but the hope and assurance of Gods presence in the inner-most being, in the midst of such sorrow); of body (as it bends, buckles, is bullied and buffeted by the storm and burden of the deepest of anguish). Life is not a moving away from but the moving towards. Breathing is involuntary. The family is heartbroken and will never get over the loss of Gareth or know the happiness of before on this earth. We are reconciled to that fact. ROB, our rock, turned 65 in October. He grieves deeply for his middle-son and grows easily sad as he misses special times and moments shared in chat and deliberations on all issues legal, business, family and general; the lunches and coffees in CT most every week. Two wise heads together. Rob carries the sorrow of the loss of Gareth inwardly and his tears translate rarely into sobbing. It is good when it does. The release of tears is Gods medicine, His balm to soothe the agony of the soul and to allow one to get through another moment – until the next time.
PSALM 73:26. Memories of my son and the beauty of his life, overwhelm me. My mornings begin with the ritual of acknowledging that Gareth Jon and Micaela Bradbury are alive. I move slowly to the dressing room and bury my face in Gareths jerseys that still hold the fragrance of his being and after-shave, my stylish, classy son. I cry there. I stay there. When I am feeling brave, strong, I listen to his voice on a special CD or play the music he enjoyed. Not morbid but therapeutic, restful, positive, appreciative. I find solace when friends and family draw alongside and gently, kindly, selflessly, lovingly and quietly just stay there; so much care and generosity by day and into the early hours, of loving messages and holding tight. I long for my middle-boy; his voice, the sparkle that made his whole face smile; the warmth of his love, hugs, fun and laughter and to be guided by his wisdom, patience and goodness. I miss his intelligence; advice, exuberance, enthusiasm, energy, enjoyment of life and encouragement. I miss his lively chats and debates, grace, goodness; banter, humour, hugs and happiness-making. I ache to hear his voice, to answer his regular phone calls (Ma!... GJ!... Luvya Ma - later) and to see him waiting at his front door, Cami... come quickly... heres Grrr-anny. Micaela, precious miracle and smiling, happy baby, would be laughing, walking and talking now and showing us who she is. My body weeps with every heartbeat and every breath of every day. My tears honour my son and are his just due. I watch over our suffering family and stand close as the memories of Gareth fill our every space - every milestone emphasizing our immense loss – my treasured family. The resilience and capacity of the human body to endure such bullying, buffeting and battering, amazes me.
TYRONE emulates Robs integrity and wisdom and practical and purposed manner. He is solid, sensitive to the familys needs; quiet, gentle and so strong in mind, body and heart. He is uncompromising on issues of faith, family and fairness and comforts with the strength of his love, tears and hugs, Its OK Mom, its alright and Gareth was unique, there will never be anyone like him. He suffers deep heartache over the loss of his brother. Ty visited Germany in October to attend a large SAP Conference in Berlin and turned 40 on 20 th November. ANDRIETTE loved her brother deeply and dearly, Gareth was just so big and he filled every space. She misses his enormous influence within the family. The daughter-we-never-had lifts us up with her help, comfort and sunny personality as she stands close – loving and caring. SIAN (13), talented, musical, sporty, creative and a beautiful young woman, completed her Junior schooling as Head Girl of Paarl Girls Junior with an excellent speech, 4 cups (one for Violin) and 1 st Prize for Maths and Science as well as 5 Award Certificates; Boland Hockey Colours, Boland Indoor Hockey Colours, School Hockey Colours (for JonJon who played Maritzburg College 1 st Hockey and Maties 1 st Hockey) Tennis Colours and central Boland Tennis Colours. Gareth would have been so proud of his protégé who grieves deeply for her uncle and comforts us with her attention, sensitivity and love. 1 st year High School at Paarl Girls in 2009.
ROBBIE (12) is Grampa Junior; a gentleman, good- looking, very bright and has a wonderful sense of humour. His 89% achievement included top marks for Maths and Computers and Humanities. Like Gareth he is a sport fanatic with Rugby, Cricket, Tennis and Chess his games. Gareths teams are his teams. JonJon was his hero and his tears fall with mine as we hold tight, smile, laugh and talk of the things Gareth did and said. I catch him looking far-away and join him in remembering. I must listen to Snow Patrols Chasing Cars on his iPod. Dada song (among many), says Cami. Robbie progresses to Grade 7 at Paarl Boys in 2009 as a prefect. RYAN JON (8) is a strong and loving lad. He is growing up fast and like his siblings, is so bright – achieving his U9 Boland Chess Colours earlier this year. He walks around all day with a rugby ball and is brilliant at figures, board games, puzzles and computers. He achieved maximum 4s in his report and moves to Grade 3 next year at Paarl Boys. He hugs and has me listen to, Blessed be the Name of the Lord - He gives and takes away, from a CD and Gareths birthday gift to him.
GARETH is Philippians 1:20. Gareth Jon Bradbury epitomised energy, enthusiasm and excellence. A deeply contented man, his character, courage, commitment, charity and his Christian hope, marked his every action. Gregarious, gracious, good, gallant, (good-looking!), generous; a gentleman, a giant, thoroughly decent – his presence, laughter and voice filled every space. His discussions, debates and deliberations displayed intelligence, wisdom and fairness and influenced the lives of so many. Free- spirited and with a fantastic sense of humour, he made the world laugh. Socially aware and inclusive, his brightness drew all into the circle of its warmth; his generosity benefiting and satisfying every recipient. His social circle is legendary, as was his commitment to his colleagues and family; his legacy our inheritance, harvest and hope. The void in our lives and in that of so many is Gareth- shaped. His voice sounds from every place and his presence permeates every space. He was the occasion- maker, play-maker and game-maker and childrens mentor and hero. Cheering Ernies winning putt, Man Uniteds winning goal and the Sharks winning try, will never be the same without Gareth. Watching rugby without Gareth is like playing the game without the ball. The Sharks winning the Currie Cup was Gareths win and we could hear his exuberant, Try-time! and feel the sting of his High-fives as his friends smsed to celebrate Gareths win.
Gareth lived the Bradbury family motto - Aequitas Actionum Regula (let equity be the rule of our actions) - to the letter and the Bradbury crest – a winged dove with leafed twig in its beak – was indicative of his peace, gentleness and always optimism. The finest 3 sons, 3 brothers - Brothers in Arms. Gareth lived in the Cape but KZN was his home – the land of the Zulu, the soil, the green hills, the warm seas, the Drakensberg, the golf courses, Maritzburg College and Johnny Clegg. Gareth, an 80s man, will remain, Forever Young. ADRI is beautiful and bravely battles desolate and desperate days in her love, longing and loneliness for her husband Gareth and her baby Micaela. She bears her unimaginable heartache and sorrow with great courage. Our hearts break for Adri and Nunu - our Gareth-girls whom we love and carry in their sorrow. Their well-being is our, and others, priority. Adri and Cami spent a restful 3 weeks with friends of hers and Gareths in Italy in September. Adri captured magnificent photographs of Rome, Sorrento, Lucca, Florence and Vienna and came back rested and revived, a respite for her for that while, but who must now try and cope again with her sorrow and grief and the emptiness of a sad house that once knew light, laughter, warmth, sunshine, brightness, fun, action, noise, singing, happy chatter, cosy catch-up- moments of the day, dreams in the night, companionship, action, and socializing.
So much love Mom, with no where to go. Adri is a devoted and dedicated mother and guides Cami through her grief with courage and commitment as she deals with the desolation of her own grief with great fortitude. Adris right arm improves day by day with scars the testimony of her fortitude. Adri organised and convened a large and successful Gareth and Micaela Charity Golf Day which was held on 19 October 2008 at Stellenbosch Country Club. The day was a great success with generous contributions raised for the charity Kidz2Kidz. It was good to be busy. The weather was kind as 28 4Balls took to the field. 170 adult friends and 77 children gathered for lunch and the days events - a special day with beautiful people at a beautiful place to remember Gareth and Micaela. The kindness and generosity of friends, sponsors, prizes and auction donations, was overwhelming. Adri manages her and Camis life with perspective and purpose. CAMI is our sunshine in this terrible storm. Her Dadas girl, she clearly remembers her Dadas love, laughter and loud-fun of rough and tumbles, high swings and milkshakes, books, bedtime and Bible. We will keep that memory alive. Our little Gareth-girl spends every second weekend with us and delights our hearts with everything she is and everything she does.
Nunu (Gareths name for his little one) is a precious, pretty, perceptive, caring, lively, loving, kind, adventurous, chatty, busy, sporty, inquisitive and quaint little girl. Gareths adored little lass - who enjoys her bikey, books, bossing Sammy-dog and walking in the vineyards and forest collecting interesting things for Mama. She confidently displays her Dadas character with sunny brightness, chatter, enjoyment of activity, love of books and love and empathy for people and animals. She talks about Dada and my sister Micaela, always. With a riot of grandies, dogs, bikes, picnic basket and exuberance we set off to the dam were Cami discovers, Muddy feet is nice Gran. And later, Lets go and get muddy feet again, Gran. When Dada swings me very high he laughs and laughs and laughs (his name is Laughter my little one). Dada take me for milkshake at Willowbridge every day (Saturdays). Guess what my darling. Grampa is taking you for a milkshake today. I love you (and milkshakes!) Gran. I attend to and watch over her through moments of missing, quiet and thoughtful processing. I hold her tight on my lap, stroke her dark, shiny little head, sing her a lullaby and tell her that I love her to the sun, moon and stars and back. Lying on her bed with her at night, fingers linked, heads and heartbeats together and blinds opened wide to the starry, Cape, midnight-blue sky, we talk. That my best star Granny, Dada at that star, I miss him Ganna, I love my Dada. Oh, me too my darling. Dada loves you so much and didnt want to leave you and Mama but Jesus invited him to be with Him in Heaven and to look after Micaela. We will be with Dada at that star one day, she offers with a call for another lullaby and Stay with me Gran. Always. Long after she is asleep I lie and look at her little Gareth-face and remember....
MICAELA was beginning to learn from her Dada and to follow in his footsteps. Her ever-ready smile, contentment and happy disposition was evidence of this. Micaela, miracle baby, was brought into the world through much pain, travail and selfless commitment, devotion and faith, of a trusting mother. Adri and Micaela survived a turbulent delivery and birth that threatened the lives of both mother and daughter. I can still see the surrender of Adris determination and the patience of Gareths love as he and Cami and Adri endured each day of separation during her 7 week long stay in hospital before and after the birth of their little lamb. RYAN, like Tyrone, suffers heartache and unashamedly allows tears to flow. Gareth was so proud of Ryan, encouraging him as he stood by in strong support. Ryan endures his heartache with fortitude and missing. He is doing extremely well with his stylish and stunning Arpeggio, newly extended and renovated throughout (June-August 2008). The Ristorante is popular, buzzing and busy and Ryan has introduced Mio Fratello (my brother) a popular pasta dish. Ryan now has a young, vibrant and efficient staff who help to relieve the stress, pressure, exhaustion and frustration of what he endured after the initial building and staff problems.
We are so very grateful. I worked long, hard and late hours with the Décor which is striking and sets a lovely tone in the Ristorante. An extremely talented friend painted a 9m wall mural depicting a view from a villa across stones, maze, hedge, arbour, pine-nut trees, hills and sky – with a beautiful garden gate sporting the Bradbury Family Crest and Motto – and all this flanked by a wall of pillars and alcoves (in relief). It is a beautiful and tranquil scene. Ryan, from Biology teacher to Restaurateur, enjoyed a wonderful 2 weeks travelling 5000kms across Italy and Sicily in July, savouring the cuisine and beauty of the land of pasta. From Ivrea in the North (100kms from Swiss border) through Piedmont, Tuscany, Parma, Milan, Bologna, Naples, Reggio dCalabria to Taormina and Palermo in Sicily before Rome, Siena, Florence and Milan. He sadly missed the Amalfi Coast, Capri and Sorrento due to a transport strike on Sicily which had him thoroughly enjoy extra action- packed days of sun and laughter with dear Maria and Calegiro in Capo dOrlando Sicily. He recently acquired a 3 litre silver white Mitsubishi Colt Club Cab. Gareth would have had a good name for this one too.
The family continues to travel away on holiday together twice a year. Family holidays were Gareths priority. They will continue with Gareth and Micaela in our love and memory. Mahai in the Northern Drakensberg, which Gareth owned, saw our 32 nd Easter visit this year (with a gathering at Hippo Pools on the Mahai River where Gareth spent his youth, for the scattering of Gareth and Micaelas ashes as Gareth wished) and Knysna (Gareths place and style) will find us visiting Under Milkwood again this December, God willing. The family must learn to weave its loose threads back into the tapestry of life without the Shuttle that once pulled its weft and warp. With Gareth the world was vibrant, bright, lively, warm and filled with banter, humour, hugs, love, loyalty, laughter, light and grace – and rallying calls to action. The space is silent, pace slowed and the void Gareth- shaped. The family meets at sometime on most every weekend (as we mostly always did) for lunch, the day, rugby, when we talk always of Gareth and his little lamb with tears and tenderness - and laughter and smiles. The grandies continue to honour their hero with their love, empathy, memories, smiles and tears. To them the leadership and loudness of fun has ceased.
Rob (and the Nutriplus office) is very busy feeding well over 100,000 learners (daily) in the WCape School Nutrition Programme. The large numbers are increasing with the upturn of poverty and downturn of the economy. The WC Ed Dept uses Robs advice, business acumen and models which facilitates the efficient and smooth functioning of the scheme. Nutriplus has opened a new factory in a pleasant industrial complex in Stellenbosch where Nutrismart manufactures and packages SmartSoy an excellent Soya Mince and dried veggies product. A successful venture and another food company to keep pace with Nutriplus, Arpeggio and X-IT. I enjoy working flexi-time in Robs office and attend our grandies sport, school and cultural activities and functions. Their weekend sleep-overs are a riot of fun, love, action and satisfying exhaustion. Rob and I are blessed indeed. Cami was a starfish in her school concert. Her Dadas star. Both steel plates were removed from Camis legs (thighs) on 27 th November 2008 and her little face is healing so beautifully under the care of her Mama and the Specialist. Our garden is being upgraded at present with small house alterations scheduled for next year.
On Sunday 9 November 2008 the family spent the day together. We enjoyed Gareths favourite food, music and talked about him with love, tenderness, tears and the agony of loss and longing read and heard Gods promises and watched the children pool and play. It was a sad and bitter-sweet time as memories bombarded us and overwhelmed our frailty. But we smiled and laughed and loved - as Gareth always did. On Wednesday 12 November 2008 we crafted a posy for Micaela and wept with and for Adri. Where do Rob and I and our family begin and end in our thanks to all of you for your love, many hundreds of smses, reams of s, phone calls, encouragement, support and empathy and flights down and from (also Australia, USA, Canada and UK)? How are we able to express our gratitude for the selfless extent of your goodness, tears, kindness, love, standing alongside and shared heartache and friendship? Gareths love and legacy to us reaps your kindness and love. We are so grateful that you knew and loved Gareth. Thank you for walking quietly, gently and softly alongside and for identifying with us in loving understanding and empathy as you continue to hug, hold, pray for and cry with us. We know how much you also grieve for Gareth and Micaela.
Jesus said, In this world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer (in the knowledge of His completed work, our response and assurance of our real home with Him in Heaven/New Earth) for I have overcome the world (of sin and death, by victory through resurrection - our hope). With love, hugs and heart, ROB & SHAN Philippians 1:20 perfectly describes Gareth: This is in keeping with my own eager desire and persistent expectation and hope, that I shall not disgrace myself nor be put to shame in anything; but that with the utmost freedom of speech and unfailing courage, now as always theretofore, Christ the Messiah will be magnified and get glory and praise in this body of mine and be boldly exalted in my person whether through by life or through by death.