Presentation on theme: "Mullet Police MULLET S P O C CLICK 2004 saw a rise in the number of mullets being sported by individuals purporting to have fashion sense. Cities whose."— Presentation transcript:
2004 saw a rise in the number of mullets being sported by individuals purporting to have fashion sense. Cities whose denizens chose to mullet-up, noticed a dramatic fall in tourism and related income. It was time to call in... MULLET COPS
If your mullet fits into any of the following categories... YOU WILL BE BUSTED The Seventeen The choice mullet for redneck piss-heads. Banned in most European countries, it is still prevalent in Southern U.S. states. Wear it here and YOU WILL BE BUSTED
The Deliverance The Deliverance is a close relative of The Seventeen, and generally worn by denizens of Alabama and Kentucky in the U.S.A. It has however been spotted in Melton.
The Gilly The Gilly. Worn exclusively by people with massive lugs, The Gilly remains the stalwart haircut of fuckwits like this everywhere.
The Lioness The Lioness is a mane of hair worn by females attempting to emulate their male counterparts. Often accompanied by a male wearing The Lion, the female adorns herself in bright colours and uses oral incense burners to attract Lions back to her caravan. Prevalent in Moe and Melton, wear The Lioness and YOU WILL BE BUSTED–
The Wet Lion The Lion Here are the 2 known varieties of The Lion. The Wet Lion is achieved through excessive use of Product. Our man on the right has chosen to enhance his Lion with the use of colour highlights and earrings.
The Methamphetamine or The Meth The Methamphetamine is a personal favourite, as there is a genuine chance the wearer is going to kill himself in the near future with illicit drug use. Mullet cops are trained to deal with wearers of The Meth. Any- one seeing a Meth wearer should not approach them but simply call 000 and ask for POLICE.
The Cyrus I would agree that the subject here appears to be wearing The Meth, but in fact he is wearing the classic Cyrus. A hair style made famous by that legend of country music and champion of boot- scooting, Billy Ray Cyrus. Despite its famous father, The Cyrus is definitely a fashion nightmare... Wear it and YOU WILL BE BUSTED.
The Scrote The Scrote is worn by criminals world wide and has reached epidemic proportions in Moe and Robinvale. A special Mullet Cop task force has been created to specifically target and prosecute barbers trafficking in Scrotes.
The Chief The Chief almost made it into the regulated- mullet category, however after its appearance at a number of homicides, the decision to outlaw The Chief was made. The subject to your left is in fact deceased and is lying in a pool of blood. He was murdered by another Chief wearer, following a dispute over a glory hole at a local perverts hangout in Sunbury Victoria.
The Mouth Another favourite. The Mouth is generally worn by males with low life expectancy. The Mouth is found in hotels and hospital emergency depts world-wide. Unfortunately the only subject we could find for this slide show was unconscious.
The Norseman Hailing from Scandinavia, The Norseman combines a traditional Viking hair- style with the modern mullet. However, the two were never intended to meet and the wearer faces severe punishment if apprehended. The combination of The Norseman, pink skin and denim shorts suggest this male is in fact from Scandinavia, where The Norseman is tolerated only because of its historical roots. Wear it here and YOU WILL BE BUSTED.
The Goran The Zoran The Ivan The Drago The Serb Known in Australia as either The Goran, Zoran, Ivan, Drago or Serb, depending on what state youre in, this mullet is popular with our Slavic immigrants. Its origins are unknown, as traditional Slavic haircuts suggest shorter hairstyles are the preferred option.
The WTF A sad little number, worn by aging celebs as their eyes become more slanted and their skin gets shinier thanks to the surgeons knife. The WTF or What-The-Fuck is a borderline call by the Mullet cop, to arrest or not to arrest?
The Sportsman The Sportsman is truly a Mullet cops trophy bust, purely because they are so rare in the wild. Hardly seen outside his home, The Sportsman prefers the shaded lounge or study where he toils on his computer or watches TV for weeks on end.
The Mangles The Mangles, paired up with a pair of Speedos and cruising Hungry Jacks like he owns the place, this bloke is just asking to be busted. Alby Mangles tested this mullet back in the 70s when he was a B-Grade celeb. Alby who? Thats right - stay away from The Mangles.
The Dirty Thirty Increasingly popular with the older generation, The Dirty Thirty is some- times referred to as the Claytons Mullet due to its similar length to a regular haircut. Only the close cropped sides and below collar length ringlets give the discerning observer confirmation that this is actually a bona fide mullet. If youre caught wearing this, you better have a good lawyer.
The Desperado The desperado. Worn by men desperate to find a partner before those last few follicles leave the tops of their heads. Similar in appearance to The WTF, this bloke is not in a financial position to get a hair- transplant. Lets hope she can bake cakes with files in them if he gets busted wearing that.
The Bull Sadly, The Bull has been added to the list of mullets making a comeback in the lesbian scene. Once touted as the unofficial head-dress of lesbians world wide, it had virtually disappeared at the beginning of the 90s, replaced by The Samson.
The Samson The Samson. Origins unknown, however it has been reported the Top-Dog from the Fairlea Womens Prison circa 1987 wore a similar style. Another theory is that it is derived from a wild party where the women were encouraged to wear a Mirkin on their heads. Mirkin = artificial pubic hair used by porn stars, similar to a toupee.
The Hammer Supposedly for hard-asses, The Hammer is worn with a goatee and a surly look, Mullet cops are the only thing these guys fear.
The Duke The Duke is the older mans mullet. The wearer is often in his late 40s or 50s and can be found swanning around shopping centres like Lord Muck from Shit Island. In the eyes of the law, age makes no difference under the Mullet Act 2004. YOU WILL BE BUSTED REGARDLESS OF AGE.
The Drifter This poor sap is wearing The Drifter. The dirtiest and most unhygienic of all mullets. Possibly a police photo, the wearer clearly looks unhappy with his choice of mullet. The Drifter is really the only option for lower socio- economic groups and requires little or no maintenance once the levels of natural hair oils builds up. One of the most common forms of mullet brought before the courts.