1. GENDER HARMONY AS PROMISING TOOL AGAINST GENDER VIOLENCE By : Dr. Erna Surjadi drg. MS. APBI, PhD President Director of Yayasan Gender Harmony

3. www.genderharmony.info3 Gender concerns: Low overall education and poor economic background of women further increases their inability to access medical services; so many cases of patients "coming too late" Low self esteem created by social, traditional and family norms. Traditional and culture practices are often the cause for their poor nutrition, inability to negotiate safe sex and other behaviors that affect successful treatment of TB/HIV.

4. PATRIARCHY CULTURE Patriarchy put men as number one while in modern era: human rights, gender equality and equity -- stimulating different perception between spouses for expected behaviour that is following the changing role. The different perception following to the behaviour may add stressor that lead to latent crisis in family life, and failure to perform tranformation; instead it is manifested into violence against women (men) in family.

5. GENDER EQUALITY In principle all human is equal in God eyes – seSAMA manusia, tua/muda, laki/perempuan, etnis dll Equality tidak sama dengan Equation Equality = persamaan akses, peluang/ partisipasi, manfaat dan kontrol Equity = keadilan gender; fairness Kondisi laki-laki dan perempuan saat ini?

6. GENDER HARMONY RESPECT – to respect human rights UNITED – to collaborate for family advancement Husband and Wife – Male/female: matching the gender disparities into equal partnership (egalitarian ethos); can lead her/himself and collaborate with others for family advancement

7. GENDER HARMONY Promoting: –HUMAN RIGHTS IMPLEMENTATION –ASPECTS: SOCIAL, CULTURE, ECONOMICS, POLITICS –Family advancement GENDER LANGUAGE – COMMUNICATION NO BODY IS PERFECT –POSITIVE THINKING AS FLOW OF HAPPINESS –TO ERR IS HUMAN TO FORGIVE IS DIVINE –SERENITY FAMILY CAREER DEVELOPMENT SYSTEM

8. www.genderharmony.info8

10. Basic principles: Family Career Development System: Pluralism Paradigm – family is no longer singular, one ethnic/ ideology/religion/ culture ----- mixing ethnics, ideologies, cultures that affected internal family life. career – every moment and phase of development in family life changing over the time; due to spousess experiences from day to day which is brought up to choice and tolerance The change lead to stressors; this needs to be handled by good Coping mechanism and perform transformation.

11. Role Theory and Transformation rules Behaviour that following the roles expectation versus Roles expectation that followed existing behaviour (Reuben Hill) –Family crisis: changing expectation that need behaviour adaptation Transformation rules: talking about relationship between two system element. One of the main function of transformation rules is aimed to change input from environmental system into output of the system (Klein & White) After the babys born who is going to still awake at night?

12. TRADISIONALMODERN/ PLURAL (Patriarki)(Egalitarian) KELUARGA SUAMI dan ISTERI (Perkembangan) Memiliki Anak Mendapatkan Pekerjaan Keluarga Stressors Dengan Stressors Mekanisme ketahanan keluarga coping mechanism) (coping mechanism) Feedback TRANSFORMASI Krisis Keluarga (Laten) Krisis termanifestasi KEKERASAN SUAMI TERHADAP ISTERI (KDRT) MATURITAS FATAL

13. STRATEGIC ASPECTS ON GENDER HARMONY 4 main aspects: The relationship of social, economic, cultural norms and decision-making (political) Social relations: –Applying egalitarian ethos; equality and justice. –Equality: the equal access / opportunitas / control –Justice: the acceptance of benefits that can be received in proportion / fairness –Male or female; laki-laki/anak young women have equality of social relations in a fair / unfair: there is no sub-ordinance, discrimination and marginalization; seek mutual appreciation / respect, fulfill and protect the rights of human asazinya. Economic relations: –Supports the principle of dual income family - dual income families –Dual income family: husband and wife equal opportunity to earn a living, not tied to how, where, or the amount of income. Can be implemented either on the outside or outside the home.

14. Continue Relationship-cultural norms: –Applying egalitarian ethos; equality of rights between men and women are born free and have dignity as a human being. –Carrying the family career development equitable and fair based on the potential of each member of the family is not based on the position, sex, age and physical condition. –Reduce the maximum impact of patriarchy without prejudice respect for tradition / ritual ceremony that gave the nation's wealth as long as not contrary to human rights. –Against all forms of physical violence / non-physical and symbolic; resolve differences with effective communication and mutual respect asazi rights as a human individual. Relationships decision making / policy: –Applying the decision along with giving equal opportunities husband / wife, son / daughter to give a voice / opinion and choice, and yet seek the maximum benefit to the growth of the whole family. –Finding the solution of dissent, diversity mindset and background through the principle of tolerance and togetherness for the benefit and mutual benefit.

15. FAMILY COPING MECHANISM Law No 52/2009 Coping mechanism = a joint process address changes in the family (transformation), cope with stressors (pressure) and or crisis that cause stress: marriage, first child, first job Quid pro quo rule - reacted to the current input to generate the expected output –The alarm sounds, the wife carried child, husband to retrieve documents etc and moved out to save themselves

16. Research Results: 1.High Patriarchy C low communication GBV maximum -1.83 2.High Patriarchy C High communication - GBV seldom - 1.53 3.Low Patriarchy C Low Communication - GBV frequent 1.79 4.Low Patriarchy C High communication - GBVminimum 0.56

17. Voices of the victims Qualitative results: –Economy, bad relationship within early years of marriage (parents inlaw, ister/brother inlaw, parents) –Cultural differences between spouses that interfere the communication between spouses. –Similar conditions: patriarchy culture, no harmonious relationship in the early years of marriage, and economy problems. –Powerless wife; no social support, no voice, choice & force

18. Conclusion Developing family is always facing changes -- stressors If role change is not being synchronized to behaviour expectation; then behaviour change is not inline to roles expectation The different mindset/ perception of husband and wife on the stressors, is not handled by coping mechanism and transformation process -- this leads to latent crisis in family life

19. continue Mindset crisis (group: husband & wife, family) give strong impact to affinal relationship in family Husband tried to hold his legitimate position and his role as husband following to what he believes in patriarchy culture – this is manifested into domestic violence actions (phyisical, mental, sexual and economy abandon; Resolution after the evidence cannot solve the problem; due to transformation/ cohesion between husband and wife not achieved – patriarchy culture implementation has blocked the egalitarian principles

20. THEORETICAL IMPLICATION Family career development system noted for changes that become stressors and lead to family crisis. Klein & White explained the importance of transformation with feedback mechanism; however never explained the crisis due to mindset differences between husband and wife (latent) from patriarchy culture in relation to the changes of expectation and its role This finding opened opportunities in prevention of Domestic Violence within plural families (whom still live with patriarchy culture implementation) – we can create egalitarian perspective in spouse relationship; it push the better communication process and transformation for family towards advancement and harmony

21. POLICY IMPLICATION Early prevention (Verse 11 and 12/Law No 23/2004) through education for couples before getting married, adolescent information, family consultation; public services that understood the harmful impact of changes (latent stressors) in family plural life Closed trial for Domestic violence to give opportunity for husband and wife in doing restoration and transformation

22. Domestic Violence terhadap perempuan dan anak

24. GH is promising tool against gender-based violence GH is a gift to all Indonesian families and the world! GH offers development of coping mechanism in preventing DV and to build synergy between men and women. GH gives re-orientation to the cultural mindset about human being and roles as well as position of women for family advancement. The respect and Unity are main factors that should be developed within Gender Harmony through continuous education and cultural re-orientation. Gender empowerment is important to be performed since early family career development; –to be a basic knowledge of girls/boys and female/male before getting married; –to understand why DV may happen and try to anticipate it – –A primary prevention; a valuable asset for achieving family welfare free from domestic violence! –To be educated in high school and college for basic foundation to gender harmony family development –To be introduced within local wisdom

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27. Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare" Japanese Proverb

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