Presentation on theme: "PAPER READING AND CONTRACT PROBLEMS Compiled by Mamie Hixon, PPt by Rustian Phelps 2011."— Presentation transcript:
PAPER READING AND CONTRACT PROBLEMS Compiled by Mamie Hixon, PPt by Rustian Phelps 2011
PAPER READING CONCERNS
INTRODUCING ERRORS themselves theirselves should have come came
NOT ADDRESSING ERRORS negro
MISNAMING ERRORS passive voice: To be wise and politically intelligent was the perfect combination in the Greek utopian form of government... Plato is saying that the enclosed prisoners only possess opinions from what they have grown up with... The freed prisoners had seen reality beyond the shadows and are the ones who should be political leaders. The Athenians government was managed solely by males... The only roles for women in society were to bear an heir to the family...
NOT ACKNOWLEDGING EXCEPTIONS passive voice: This letter with an incorrect billing invoice was sent to you in error.
USING THE WRONG VERB TENSE IN A HISTORY PAPER On November 22, 1963, President John F. Kennedy is assassinated in Dallas, Texas. The New Deal is designed in the early 1930s by the Roosevelt administration to enable the United States to recover from the Great Depression. On June 17, 1972, five men are found breaking into Democratic party headquarters in the Watergate office complex in Washington, D.C.
THE WORKS SITED READING
THE HAVING-A-BAD-DAY READING
THE TRIPLE-THREAT READING : a fifteen-minute reading a two-sentence comment problems overlooked or not addressed
THE EYES WIDE SHUT READING: obvious formatting errors
THE FINAL DRAFT LTD READING: only grammar is addressed
THE NO PAPER TRAIL READING
QUESTIONING TEXT Martin Amiss The Immortals is a short story...
OBSERVING RECURRING ERRORS
Using students overall style and language control to predict the level of error that may occur
ANTICIPATING INCORRECT CONSTRUCTIONS comma preceding and commonly confused pairs: discreet and discrete this which between preceding pronouns who and whom ellipses
ACKNOWLEDGING THE EFFECT THE STUDENTS NATIONALITY OR BACKGROUND MAY HAVE ON HIS OR HER LANGUAGE USE: I enjoy to swim. My family moved to United States. I might could offer assistance.
NOT ASKING THE STUDENT WHAT HE OR SHE MEANS A student describes her duties at Cracker Barrel on her resume:... withholds lasting repertoire with guest... Does the student actually mean that she establishes lasting rapport with guests ?
expectations for contracts
all boxes and lines filled out logically Appointment Met and No Show lines filled out distinction made between previously made appointment and walk-in Instructor's Assignment Provided box checked
title of the paper, not the assignment number, in the Paper Title/ Assignment line for an untitled paper, a description of the papers topic: Gladiator Paper, not Assignment 2.
paper not read the same day it is due walk-ins not accepted with fewer than 30 minutes remaining for the reading Duration of Appointment does include the time spent in the appointment: the overview and the reading ̶ does not include time spent completing the contract.
comments typed in Word first, then edited carefully contract checked to ensure it was sent and not returned for faulty address or some other error.
Regarding my comments, the student was Receptive Not receptive Neutral Other Engaged Comments: Particular concerns including general attitude of student I had a very nice, productive session with Rilee; she remained very engaged throughout the session. Rilee said that her main concern was with her conclusion. She did not feel confident that she had developed her conclusion thoroughly. We started the session by reading though the paper for clarity. I wanted to get a feel for the paper so we could talk about the conclusion. As we read through, we stopped to reword and reorganize several sentences. We spent a good deal of time reworking Rilee's thesis statement to make it as clear as possible. Rilee had tried to use her quote within her thesis as you required, but she had changed the text of the quote. I reminded her that quotations must remain exactly as they are written unless one adds words in brackets. We rewrote the thesis statement to avoid changing the quote too much. The majority of our time was spent doing these sentence reconstructions. When we reached the end of the paper, we stopped to go over the conclusion. I suggested ways in which Rilee could expand upon her thoughts in the conclusion. We then talked about when to reference an author in citations. I told Rilee that the author should be mentioned in the citation if the author is not mentioned within the text. Since we spent so much time dealing with content, we did not have enough time to complete a grammar check. We did talk about a few issues. Rilee had a dangling modifier, and she used the "more clear" rather than "clearer." I also noticed some changes in tense, so I made a note to remind Rilee to check her tense. Strong commentary is detailed commentary.
EXAMPLE: Sondra was receptive to my comments, and though she was quiet, she interacted with me during the reading. She came prepared with specific questions for me, and she answered any questions I had about her paper. Template _______________and I read the paper for_________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________ ________________was (receptive, not receptive) to my suggestions and (interacted, did not interact) with me during the reading. Claudia and I read her paper for typos and grammatical errors. She was concerned about using APA style correctly, so we used the latest edition of the APA handbook and a Writing Lab handout (which I told Claudia to keep) to check her references. We discussed how to create a title page and how to create parenthetical citations properly. While checking her References page, we discussed how to create hanging indents in MS Word. One of the pieces she references has no author; we used WHO (the organization that put out the small book) as the author. Claudia was concerned that she was too editorial or seemingly bashing cultures in her paper; I told her about some ways to qualify her statements so that her paper is more academic. Claudia was receptive to my suggestions and interacted with me during the reading. Use a template to guide you in your commentary.
Find the errors in the following contracts. There is one error per contract.
Gramsci and Disney in Blakes The Marriage of Heaven and Hell
Start Time 9:35 Appointment Duration 20 min. Paper read with less than half an hour to read
4/28/20 Paper Reading performed the same day the paper is due
If the Paper Reading had taken an entire hour, there would have been no time to write the contract. 1 hour
All members of the group are required to be present for Group paper Readings.
Paper is described as a Final Draft Reading, but there is nothing checked under Content.
There should be no check marks under Literary Conventions or Toulmin Argument for a personal narrative.
There are two errors in the following commentary.
Taylor was very cooperative and engaged in our paper reading session. He brought his assignment sheet and his short story with him to our session. I primarily emphasized the importance of a developed thesis statement because he was missing the "So What?" aspect. We brainstormed some possible "So What?" ideas/interpretations. For instance, we discussed what "The Immortals" suggests or conveys through Taylor's argument that the narrator is unreliable due to his mortal attributes. Furthermore, I elaborated on paragraph construction with Taylor. We worked to focus his topic sentences and thread his trajectory. I advised Taylor to avoid basing his argument upon generalities. We also discussed the removal of his rhetorical questions. Taylor brought in four of the five required pages for our session, but I only had time to read through two of the pages. I thoroughly enjoyed interacting with Taylor in this session.
only due to Taylor was very cooperative and engaged in our paper reading session. He brought his assignment sheet and his short story with him to our session. I primarily emphasized the importance of a developed thesis statement because he was missing the "So What?" aspect. We brainstormed some possible "So What?" ideas/interpretations. For instance, we discussed what "The Immortals" suggests or conveys through Taylor's argument that the narrator is unreliable his mortal attributes. Furthermore, I elaborated on paragraph construction with Taylor. We worked to focus his topic sentences and thread his trajectory. I advised Taylor to avoid basing his argument upon generalities. We also discussed the removal of his rhetorical questions. Taylor brought in four of the five required pages for our session, but I had time to read through two of the pages. I thoroughly enjoyed interacting with Taylor in this session.
There is one error in the following commentary
Melinda was very engaged throughout our session. We primarily took a look at grammar and clarity. Melinda had several grammatical issues that have a tendency to make her thoughts unclear. We spent time rewriting and reorganizing sentences to improve clarity. Most of the grammatical issues that we discussed were comma errors, apostrophe errors, subject-verb agreement, and pronoun-antecedent agreement. Melinda and I also discussed parenthetical citations. Since this paper was APA style, I told Melinda to put in the author's last name, a comma, the year, a comma, and the page number. Melinda did not know to put the page numbers in her citations, so I made a note to reminder to add those and to create a references page. Melinda also separated her essay with subheadings (particular points that you wanted her to mention). She asked if those subheadings would be okay. I told her that subheadings really depend on what the teacher wants, but I mentioned that even if you don't want them in the final paper, they will still be helpful in keeping her focused and organized. Also, she mentioned that though the paper is in APA style, you are not picky about the title page.
Melinda was very engaged throughout our session. We primarily took a look at grammar and clarity. Melinda had several grammatical issues that have a tendency to make her thoughts unclear. We spent time rewriting and reorganizing sentences to improve clarity. Most of the grammatical issues that we discussed were comma errors, apostrophe errors, subject-verb agreement, and pronoun-antecedent agreement. Melinda and I also discussed parenthetical citations. Since this paper was APA style, I told Melinda to put in the author's last name, a comma, the year, a comma, and the page number. Melinda did not know to put the page numbers in her citations, so I made a note to reminder to add those and to create a references page. Melinda also separated her essay with subheadings (particular points that you wanted her to mention). She asked if those subheadings would be. I told her that subheadings really depend on what the teacher wants, but I mentioned that even if you don't want them in the final paper, they will still be helpful in keeping her focused and organized. Also, she mentioned that though the paper is in APA style, you are not picky about the title page. okay
FEEDBACK FROM INSTRUCTORS
Robert Davis To: Writing Lab – English and Foreign Languages (Writinglab) I think you have sent this to the wrong person because I am not teaching this semester. Perhaps the student (Elizabeth Ward) does not even know the name of her instructor. That kind of thing happens more often than you would believe. Good luck finding out who should have received Ms. Wards information. Regards, Tim Davis
Neil Davis To: Writing Lab – English and Foreign Languages (Writinglab) I appreciate the Writing Labs work in assisting my students in APA format as well as basic English. However, there is one point that I wish to make clear; when I correct my students papers in regard to including the issue number on the reference page, I am told that the writing lab said it was OK. It is not. I refer to the APA Publications Manual 6 th ed., page 198, paragraph 7.01: If each issue of a journal begins on page 1, give the issue number in parentheses immediately after the volume. The operative word is if. The 5 th ed. Said the same thing but with more emphasis If, and only if, each issue of a... All APA sponsored journals, and the majority of the journals published in the US, paginate by volume therefore the issue number should not be included on the reference page. Please conform to the APA manual in regard to issue numbers. Dr. Neil Davis Psychology Department
Jennifer Adkins To: Writing Lab – English and Foreign Languages (Writinglab) Writing Lab, I noticed in this review that the student informed the reader the paper required present tense/active voice. The student failed to mention that for Methods and Materials of the Historian we write past tense (unless referencing the present). Unfortunately, this is an abstract idea for many Methods students. I appreciate your help and am happy to note that the students who use your services learn from this experience and receive higher scores. Please see attached the instructions and the rubric that I give to students for their final paper (I advise them to take it with them to the Writing Lab). I thought perhaps this would be useful to the readers. Thanks again for your help, Jennifer Adkins
Robert Davis To: Writing Lab – English and Foreign Languages (Writinglab) Good afternoon. A student in my Comp II class recently visited the Writing Lab and received assistance with an assignment; the attached feedback form includes basic information about the student, the paper reader, and the assistance provided. After I corrected, graded, and returned the student's paper, she was disappointed that her grade had been affected by the several errors I had noted on her paper but had not been cited by the paper reader at the Lab. I urged her to discuss her disappointment about the paper-reading outcomes with someone at the Lab. I offer you this information for whatever actions you might wish to initiate when or if the student voices her complaint at the Lab. I also offer this informational as a way of asking you about the best way for students and instructors to handle similar situations (i.e., errors not cited by the paper reader). Regards, R. T. Davis
[ response to previous instructor ] Tim, Thanks for this information. I hope you have a copy of the student's feedback/edited paper that was read in the Lab. That document is what is needed to offer the paper reader the assistance and feedback she needs. In situations like this one (usually only one or two a year), I confer with the paper reader about errors either overlooked or introduced into a student's paper and try to turn the "incident" into a teachable moment. If Ai wants to talk to me, I'd be happy to do so. Beyond an apology for the reader's oversights, nothing else can be done. I usually give my own students five extra points for using the services of a paper reader, and these points usually offset errors that the reader might have overlooked. Of course, the expectation is that readers are competent enough to detect most of the errors in a student's paper. We, however, "cover ourselves" with a disclaimer that clients read and accept: "a paper reader is not responsible for locating all of your errors." When a reader's oversights are numerous enough to suggest incompetence, however, it's time for intervention. As a training strategy for the paper readers, I return a copy of my graded papers along with the feedback/edited copy to each reader for review, hoping that the comparative analysis will offer the reader some helpful hints about close readings. I realize that the readers cannot expect this kind of feedback from every professor. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. I'm in the Lab every day, so if you have the feedback copy of the paper in question, please place it in my mailbox. Mamie
Dr. Grammar To: Mamie Hixon Dear Mamie, I just wanted to bring this to your attention. A hard-working student with very unsatisfactory writing skills had someone at the Writing Center review a draft of her [...]l Analysis for my class [...]. She ended up earning 50% on a paper that someone at the writing center had reviewed and approved with high remarks (apparently). The student was quite distraught after receiving the grade, and couldn't understand how I could not approve of something the writing center had. Her paper is very unsatisfactory in every aspect of writing, not to mention the historical errors (i.e. "Baltimore, Alabama," and the notion that slavery ended in the 1960s!). I'm going to drop a copy of her paper in interoffice mail, for your review. Thanks, Dr. Grammar Department of Anonymity
[response to previous instructor ] Oh, please do. I am quite embarrassed. Even if the reader did a Grammar Check, he or she should have noticed the historical errors. Mamie [instructor's further remarks] Mamie, Noone sends more students to the writing lab than me. And I can honestly say that in 5 yrs. this is the first time a student who went their turned in a really unsatisfactory paper. So you guys are to be applauded. Dr. Grammar
Scenario #1 You have completed a paper reading contract for a student who gave you ANIMAL SCIENCE for the name of the course and BISSET for the professors name. However, Bisset is not listed in the faculty-student directory or the faculty listing from Human Resources. You also cannot find this professors name under People Finder on the universitys website. You need to send the students contract to Bisset. Whats your next move?
Scenario #2 A student has written a creative response paper using the dialect of the characters in the novel she has written about. Here is a paragraph from her essay. Should you comment on her grammar, usage, spelling, or mechanics? I come close a while back to loosin my baby girl and the sufferin I done seemed too heavy to bear. I was lucky cause the Lord spared her, and he renewed my strength. There aint a thing I can tell you, Pilate, that will take that heavy weight off your heart, but I promise you this, you have a sister here in Willow Springs who will try n help you to carry that awful burden, and a sister who will give you strength when yours is low.
Scenario #3 The excerpt below is from a students paper. The student is writing about a novel written in 1859 by Harriet E. Wilson – Our Nig. Here is a paragraph from her essay. In Our Nig, the heroine Frado is an orphaned colored girl who is left to the care of the Bellmonts, an upper-class white family living in the North during the 1850s. Mrs. Bellmont, the matriarch of the household, represents those of the northern aristocracy who believe that negroes are intellectual and socially inferior. On Frados first day at the Bellmonts, it became apparent that her mother Mag was not coming back for her, and the question of what to do with the little nigger became the course of the family discussion. Furthermore, when the subject of education for the nig surfaced as a topic, Mrs. Bellmont and Mary strongly protested. What kind of input would you give this student about writing about literature?
Note that Ms. Hixon does not deal with complaints unless she has the original marked-up paper.