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The Art of Feedback Tools for Transforming Ourselves and Others.

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Presentation on theme: "The Art of Feedback Tools for Transforming Ourselves and Others."— Presentation transcript:

1 The Art of Feedback Tools for Transforming Ourselves and Others

2 Tonight youll learn to: 1. Identify who or what triggers your own resistance to feedback 2. Create trusting relationships where feedback is nurtured and welcomed 3. Offer effective feedback to others 4. Apply listening as a valuable skill for transforming behavior

3 Business Dictionary.com Defining Feedback Feedback is inherent to all interactions. sent to an individual or group about its prior behavior so that it may adjust current and future behavior to achieve the desired result. In an organization, feedback is the information sent to an individual or group about its prior behavior so that it may adjust current and future behavior to achieve the desired result. Feedback occurs when an environment reacts to an action or behavior.

4 FRAZZLED Feedback Reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation. "This employee is really not so much of a 'has-been', but more of a definite 'won't be."

5 Three Types of Feedback… 1. Neutral: factual, concrete, non-disputable 2. Positive: reinforcing, validating, motivating 3. Developmental: constructive, helpful, criticism

6 Positive Feedback Bob Nelson, author of 1001 Ways to Reward Employees suggests we: Say : I saw what you did; I appreciate it; Great job! Give Immediate Recognition Give Frequent Informal Recognition

7 1. What triggers our resistance to developmental feedback? Receiving Feedback

8 Exercise 1. Write down the names of two people in your life from whom you welcome feedback… no matter how difficult it may be. 2. Then, write down two people in your life from whom you would not welcome/receive feedback… no matter how tactful it may be. 3. At your table discuss why you value feedback from the first two but not from the second two.

9 Reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them." FRAZZLED Feedback

10 Altering Behavior,: The Achilles Heel of Human Development White Paper: Altering Behavior,: The Achilles Heel of Human Development James J. Lomac, Management Research Group The graveyard of failed careers is filled with the skeletons of professionals who were incapable of adequately assessing their behavioral strengths and aligning them appropriately with the job opportunities that exist in a changing marketplace.

11 Three Responses to Developmental Feedback: 1. Recognize and accept the feedback, but choose not to do anything about it. 2. Recognize the behavior and the negative results, but not change because other team members possess complimentary attributes. 3. Recognize and accept it, and make a concerted effort to change. James J. Lomac, Management Research Group

12 Some typical, but not-so-good responses to feedback: Outright denial Outright denial Diversionary tactics Diversionary tactics trying to place the problem somewhere else; trying to place the problem somewhere else; minimizing its importance to make it seem irrelevant; minimizing its importance to make it seem irrelevant; attacking the source or the basis for the feedback. attacking the source or the basis for the feedback. James J. Lomac, Management Research Group

13 Reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation. "This employee should go far...and the sooner he starts, the better." FRAZZLED Feedback

14 2. Create trusting relationships where feedback is nurtured and welcomed. Building Trust

15 Building a Foundation of Trust We accept feedback in an environment of trust We accept feedback in an environment of trust We tend to accept feedback more easily from those who do not have a personal stake in the outcome We tend to accept feedback more easily from those who do not have a personal stake in the outcome We accept feedback when it has been given with an equal dose of support We accept feedback when it has been given with an equal dose of support Perceptions always play a part Perceptions always play a part

16 Feedback that Fosters Trust Adapt an attitude of support and acceptance, not criticism. Adapt an attitude of support and acceptance, not criticism. Give people the benefit of the doubt Give people the benefit of the doubt Accept and celebrate differences in style Accept and celebrate differences in style Let go of small offenses Let go of small offenses Guard your tongue Guard your tongue Be the peacemaker Be the peacemaker

17 Reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier. FRAZZLED Feedback

18 3. Offering effective feedback to others

19 When is feedback … -- necessary…? -- appropriate…? -- inappropriate…? Can well-meaning, but poorly delivered feedback affect relationships ?

20 When giving feedback, follow these guidelines… First, ask yourself – is there really a need for change, or is it just a difference in style or personality? Is it a control issue? First, ask yourself – is there really a need for change, or is it just a difference in style or personality? Is it a control issue? Always in private. Always in private. Make him/her feel safe. Make him/her feel safe. Always give encouragement and support. Always give encouragement and support. LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN!

21 Reportedly taken from actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation. He donated his brain to science before he was done using it." FRAZZLED Feedback

22 4. Listening transforms behavior

23 Active Listening Carl Rogers Direct attempts to change an individual or his self-picture are threatening. He is forced to defend himself or to completely deny the experience. Listening brings about changes in peoples attitudes toward themselves and others; it also brings about changes in their basic values and personal philosophy. The active listening approach, on the other hand, does not present a threat to the individuals self-picture. He does not have to defend it. He is able to explore it, see it for what it is, and make his own decision about how realistic it is. And he is then in a position to change.

24 The Power of Listening To listen well, is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and it is essential to all true conversation. -- Chinese Proverb Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand. -- Brenda Ueland, American feminist and author

25 I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen. -- Ernest Hemmingway, writer/author Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker. When someone receives us with open- hearted, non-judging, intensely interested listening, our spirits expand. -- Sue Patton Thoele, writer/author The Power of Listening

26 It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen. -- Oliver Wendell Holmes, poet and author You seldom listen to me, and when you do you dont hear; and when you do hear you hear wrong, and even when you hear right you change it so fast that its never the same. -- Marjorie Kellogg, author The Power of Listening


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