Presentation on theme: "Delivering Bad News Mom never said that it would be like this."— Presentation transcript:
Delivering Bad News Mom never said that it would be like this
A fantasy Once upon a time, there were two families who lived next door to each other. At 110 First Avenue, lived Bob and Barbara Bluster and their two children, Morgan and Fran. At 112 First Avenue lived Larry and Lori Luster, their son Henry, Larrys mother, Sadie and Sadies beloved cat Fabula. Bob and Larry had been friends since college. They married classmates. Each frequently asked each other to take care of their homes while they would go on vacations. As happens with long-term friendships and families, over the years they had grown to tolerate each others annoying habits. Bob had a very blunt and direct way of giving bad news. Larry, on the other hand, preferred, in his words, to sugar it up a bit. Fortunately, this difference had never been tested until this day.
A fantasy (continued) Larry, Lori, Ruth and Henry were going on their annual vacation. Originally Sadie was going to go as well, but she developed a cold the night before the family was to leave and was unable to go with them. So, Larry asked Bob to keep an eye on my mom and Fabula while they were gone. Bob said, Sure thing. Three days after Larry and his family arrived at their destination, Larry called Bob to see how things were going. Hows Fabula? Larry asked. She died. What! How can you say that. Thats terrible. What happened? Bob proceeded to explain that the cat had crawled out an open window in Sadies room, tried to jump to the tree next to the house, couldnt grab on to the tree because she had been declawed, and fell to her death. Larry was furious at Bob because he was so blunt. Bob, why couldnt you give it to me gently. You know, tell me about the tree next to the house, the window being open and the cat getting out and my mom called the fire department and they came and they couldnt save Fabula. Why must you always be so darn blunt! Well, tell me how did my mom take it? After a long silence, Bob says, Well Larry, you know the tree next to the house, the window was open....
Bad news Bad news: telling others you dont want to tell them about something they dont want to hear In the Bob and Larry story, there are two choices: both are not always appropriateIn the Bob and Larry story, there are two choices: both are not always appropriate Where to get guidance: from survey procedures; and from psychologyWhere to get guidance: from survey procedures; and from psychology Well be spending time today on both, more on the psychology of giving bad news.Well be spending time today on both, more on the psychology of giving bad news.
What do S&C Procedures have to say? State Operations ManualState Operations Manual Exit ConferenceExit Conference
Hospital, Appendix A Exit Conference Purpose: preliminary findingsPurpose: preliminary findings Team consistency and organizationTeam consistency and organization BoundariesBoundaries –If provider is represented by counsel, may refuse to conduct the conference if counsel tries to turn exit into evidentiary hearing –If provider creates an environment that is hostile, intimidating, or inconsistent with exit as informal and preliminary
Appendix P: Nursing Homes Team communication throughout survey Task 7 - Exit Conference Purpose: preliminary findings Who: personnel; ombudsman and officer of residents group, if one Provide opportunity for discussion/additional informationProvide opportunity for discussion/additional information Ongoing dialogue rare surprisesOngoing dialogue rare surprises
Appendix M: Hospice Exit conference: to inform the hospice of observations and preliminary findings of the survey.Exit conference: to inform the hospice of observations and preliminary findings of the survey. ongoing dialogue rarely surprises Implement the following guidelines during the conference:ongoing dialogue rarely surprises Implement the following guidelines during the conference:
Appendix J: ICFs/MR Pre-exit: Team discusses findings/make conclusions, subject to additional information provided by facility officialsPre-exit: Team discusses findings/make conclusions, subject to additional information provided by facility officials Determine need for more informationDetermine need for more information Ask for and consider additional information or clarification if necessaryAsk for and consider additional information or clarification if necessary If, per facility, acceptable practice, request supporting referencesIf, per facility, acceptable practice, request supporting references
Summary: survey procedures PreliminaryPreliminary Respectful, open to change and to listen for more informationRespectful, open to change and to listen for more information FactualFactual Context is informational exchangeContext is informational exchange Boundaries areBoundaries are
Cognitive Therapy What is it?What is it? Where did it come from?Where did it come from? How does it apply to this task?How does it apply to this task?
Beliefs Irrational v Rational What is Cognitive Therapy? Thinking Feeling BehavingThinking Feeling Behaving Where it came from: Research based: Most research based of any therapyResearch based: Most research based of any therapy Viktor Frankl Mans Search for MeaningViktor Frankl Mans Search for Meaning The young girl dying of Typhoid and CHEERFULThe young girl dying of Typhoid and CHEERFUL
How Does Cognitive Therapy Apply to giving Bad News? Thinking makes it so: Irrational v RationalThinking makes it so: Irrational v Rational Irrational thoughts – makes bad news worseIrrational thoughts – makes bad news worse
Distorted Beliefs Personalization (no connection to requirements)Personalization (no connection to requirements) DefensivenessDefensiveness Entitlement Seeking -- I deserve itEntitlement Seeking -- I deserve it Perfectionism – No mistakesPerfectionism – No mistakes Approval SeekingApproval Seeking Over-responsibilityOver-responsibility D. Burns (2000). Feeling Good. NY: HarperCollins Publishers.
Thoughts that get you into trouble 1.All-or-Nothing Thinking. Black and white. 2.Overgeneralization. Always and Never fallacy 3.Mental Filter. Facilitys history: in and out of compliance. New ownership. Doesnt matter 4.Disqualifying the Positive. My positives dont count 5.Jumping to Conclusions. a.Mind reading. You conclude that someone is reacting to you in a negative way, but you don't check it out to see if it's true. b.Fortune Teller Error. Based on observations you know facility is out of compliance D. Burns
Thoughts that get you into trouble 6.Magnification or Minimization. Either make things way out of proportion or you shrink their importance. Binocular effect. Facility isnt so bad. These are poor people anyway so its better than what they have at home. 7.Emotional reasoning. If I feel it, it must be true. I feel inadequate to the rest of the team, so I must be. 8.Should Statements. You motivate yourself or others with shoulds and shouldn'ts, or musts and oughts, or wills and won'ts, that have no basis in law. 9.Labeling. Extreme overgeneralization. This team member is a loser" 10.Personalization. You see yourself as causing some negative external event, which you have no control over. D. Burns
The 3 Rs of Negative Living The Negative Triads Resentment Revenge Resistance
Solution Speak from within your framework – the requirementsSpeak from within your framework – the requirements Attack the distorted thoughts with EVIDENCE -- SunshineAttack the distorted thoughts with EVIDENCE -- Sunshine Examples:Examples: –Personalization: LD: No trace left –Shoulds: My should or the Law? –Perfectionism: Impossibility
Change Thinking Practice Sheet Antecedents or Triggers. Next to the words that come closest to capturing what you experienced, put a number from 1 to 10. AngryAngry AnxiousAnxious DepressedDepressed GuiltyGuilty Other. Specify __________Other. Specify __________ What were your automatic thoughts? (Thoughts you have without thinking, which just come into your head) What distorted thinking was behind each automatic thought? [See previous slide] Whats the evidence that disclaims your automatic thought? What words do you use to talk back to your automatic thought? After talking back, what changes, if any, do you see in the feelings you identified above? Look back at the feelings you rated at the top of this page and rate how you feel now. You should feel at least somewhat better. If you dont, then repeat the exercise.
Change Outwardly: Accurate Empathy A skill. You know and express the other persons thoughts and motivations in such a way that the response is, Yes, thats exactly what I mean.A skill. You know and express the other persons thoughts and motivations in such a way that the response is, Yes, thats exactly what I mean.
Build Team ConsistencyConsistency Practice – who will say whatPractice – who will say what CohesivenessCohesiveness Comfortable enough to disagreeComfortable enough to disagree Recognize the psychological strengths / challenges of each team member and emphasize the strengthsRecognize the psychological strengths / challenges of each team member and emphasize the strengths
Overall Suggestions Know the Requirements/ProceduresKnow the Requirements/Procedures If you survey facilities whose procedures omit exit conference, ask supervisor if your group may adapt current procedures: preliminary, mutual, respectful, rare surprisesIf you survey facilities whose procedures omit exit conference, ask supervisor if your group may adapt current procedures: preliminary, mutual, respectful, rare surprises Practice Self-awareness – Know and minimize distortionsPractice Self-awareness – Know and minimize distortions Focus on fact gathering and presenting not friendship formingFocus on fact gathering and presenting not friendship forming Reinforce your strengths and positives individually and as a teamReinforce your strengths and positives individually and as a team