1. Briefing on the Latest Trends Presented by BMS PTO BMS PARENT SEMINAR

2. Jason Caudill, BMS Assistant Principal Carrie Washburn & David Leland, BMS Counselors Det. Jon Byrd, Juvenile Officer Charlotte Parsons, The Art of Positive Parenting SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR PRESENTERS

3. SOCIAL MEDIA

4. Social Media is neither inherently good or bad Students use social media to: Socialize with peers, Investigate the world, Try on identities, and Establish independence You should establish guidelines for its use (time limits, shared passwords, etc.) SOCIAL MEDIA

5. All profiles must be set to private! Know your childs passwords/ accounts Monitor regularly Keep electronic devices in family spaces Never meet someone in person No personal identifiers SUGGESTED GUIDELINES

6. CHATROULETTE South Park ChatRoulette http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ayer_detailpage&v=cWEWCWljaBU

7. Context matters Negative Interactions: Two-sided, back-and-forth One-sided, rumor spreading Impersonation Stalking Exclusion TYPES OF CYBERBULLYING

8. SEXTING Mom Loses Daughter Over Sexting http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLTj3WB mY1k

9. Do not respond Save the evidence Share with an adult Report to Police If it happens at school or school function, school can discipline WHAT TO DO

10. DISTRICT WEBSITE Report goes to Superintendent and Principal

11. Telecommunications Harassment ORC 2917.21 (B) – No person shall make or cause to be made a telecommunication, or permit a telecommunication to be made from a telecommunications device under the persons control, with the purpose to abuse, threaten, or harass another person. Penalty: First offense M1; F5 on each subsequent offense Definition of telecommunication device (ORC 2913.01): Any instrument, equipment, machine, or other device that facilitates telecommunication; including but not limited to, a computer, computer network, telephone, cell phone, personal communications device…. CYBER-CRIME

12. Pandering Obscenity Involving A Minor ORC 2907.321 (A) - No person with knowledge of the character of the material or performance involved, shall do any of the following: (5) Buy, procure, posses, or control any obscene material that has a minor as one of its participants Penalty: F4 Definitions (ORC 2907.01) (J) Material means any book, magazine, newspaper, pamphlet, poster, print, picture, figure, image, description, motion picture film, … or other tangible thing capable of arousing interest through sight, sound or touch and includes an image or text appearing on a computer monitor, television screen, …, or similar device (M) Minor means any person under the age of eighteen CYBER-CRIME (CONT)

13. Personal Information Name, Age, Birthday, Phone Number, School Photos or Videos with Identifying Information Provocative poses/ Too much skin Once it is online, you have no control over it NEVER SHARE

14. Predators will try to: Establish a relationship Isolate from family and friends Turn against parents Keep secrets Send inappropriate material/ explicit conversations Make threats WARNING SIGNS

15. Most students maintain a digital presence Students are very interconnected (lots of friends) Parents are not monitoring WHAT IS THE REALITY IN BEXLEY?

16. RELATIONSHIPS & SEX

17. DEVELOPMENTAL CHANGES Brain: executive skills are still in the early stages of development Time management, organization, short-term memory, goal setting, initiation, self-restraint Hormones: testosterone (males) and estrogen (females) are increasing and creating rapid change Cognitive Processing: beginning to view the abstract realities of the world and how they fit with the concrete realities they currently understand

18. DEVELOPMENTAL CHANGES Everythings Amazing & Nobodys Happy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r1CZTL k-Gk

19. DEVELOPMENTAL SUGGESTIONS Sleep, routine within each day De-personalize the teenagers reaction Hear the concern without the tone Have a dialogue about sex, not a lecture Develop strategies to enhance communicate with one another Regular, two-way communication about what is working as well as what isnt working Realize the importance of just listening Be involved without being overbearing

20. RELATIONSHIP WITH… Myself Self-Concept: Who am I? the need to create our own identity while not appearing different from our peers (fit in) Need to explore variety of interests Where are my strengths? Parents Desire for independence and equally continued affirmation from parents and peers Enhanced need for trust and mutual respect Peers What do I value and believe in? What is a healthy friendship look like? Is your friend willing to look after your best interest?

21. RELATIONSHIP IDEAS & SUGGESTIONS Myself The value of standing firm in who they are In life, its not what you are that holds you back, its what you think you are. Parents Establish goals (short-term and long-term) and following through on the outcome Short-term: video game for 1 st quarter As Long-term: go on a trip, go to a camp, etc. Share the vision and embrace the tension If we expect our kids to share and expression thoughts, ideas and emotions, it is likely we will need to challenge ourselves to do the same Peers Conditional vs. unconditional Like vs. respect

22. RELATIONSHIP IDEAS & SUGGESTIONS Remember the Titans (Gettysburg Video) – Coach Boones Speech http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jw1I7wC pXiY

23. THE CULTURAL EXPERIENCE Sticks and stones may break my bones… Face-to-face conversation Email / Texting Blogging Phone Willingness to say things to others behind the keyboard but oppose to in person Understanding the intended and unintended outcomes resulting in how we interact with one another Conflict resolution How do I handle it in front of my child? What type of dialogue have I had with my child about it?

24. CULTURAL SUGGESTIONS The Golden Rule Common Ground Communicating without judgment Emotions rarely translate from one computer to another I meant X but he/she took it as Y Save the draft and send it later if it still makes sense What am I trying to accomplish by sending this communication? Create your environment, dont just live in it

25. SOCIAL NORMS Secret Life of the American Teenager – Adrian and Grace Fight http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUCDh3J e-i4

26. WHAT ARE THE CHALLENGES… Students model the behaviors they observe Students may lack the ability to anticipate consequences as well as intended/unintended outcomes of how they interact with one another. When conflicts arise, using technology to humiliate and bully their peers, avoiding reprimand from adults and/or peers Helping young teens understand a more normalized and appropriate picture of relationships, friends and dating.

27. SO WHAT IS THE REAL DEAL FOR YOUNG TEENS? Girls : Relational, sensitive to appearance Focus on Being like everyone else. Sense of loyalty is strong. More overtly emotional and verbal. Needs are met through social inclusion examples: teams, outside groups, invitations to parties

28. SOCIAL NORMS Jersey Shore Fights JWWOW and Sammy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8rTYeK sIy0

29. PEER RELATIONSHIPS (CONT.) Boys: Want to be included Less overtly emotional/verbal about feelings. How to be the man Uncertain about how to navigate friendships.

30. ITS ALL ABOUT THE GROUP Difference s Likeness es How do I satisfy my need for belonging, love and acceptance? How am I the same? How am I different?

31. HOW DO I SATISFY MY NEED FOR THE SENSE BELONGING, LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE? Healthy ways: * Join with others who share the same interests *Create opportunties for those like themselves *Ask adults for guidance

32. Unhealthy ways * Social exclusion of others as a means to inclusion of a peer group * Participation or creation of a clique * Engage in bullying behaviors HOW DO I SATISFY MY NEED FOR THE SENSE BELONGING, LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE?

33. BULLYING BEHAVIORS It is about power and control Fitting in and being accepted regardless of risk Saving face Recognition by others Examples: Social exclusion at lunch or from group activities(parties especially!) Knocking books out of hands Shoving someone into lockers Threatening others verbally/physically Using technology : Facebook,instagram,Twitter

34. BULLYING BEHAVIORS Bullying Smackdown – Casey Heyned Vs Richard Gala http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ID77k0f 0lUo

35. DATING RELATIONSHIPS Starting earlier sometimes through texting or on-line conversations May involve sexual activity too soon* Teens often have a distorted view of healthy dating relationships Dont understand how to set appropriate boundaries with others May engage in using drugs or alcohol because the boyfriend or girlfriend wants them to May choose to be sexually active with multiple partners Teens may not understand how to resolve conflicts in opposite sex relationships Examples: hitting, slapping, threatening other person to gain control Verbal abuse through name calling, and put downs, Emotional abuse Physical abuse

36. SOCIAL NORMS [Teen Mom2]New season http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yo7Hhp 6Puk

37. DATING VIOLENCE Mandated that schools address. Ohio has passed a law that requires dating violence education in grades 7-12. Statistics from the Office of Adolescent Health

38. SIGNS OF TROUBLE Drop in academic performance Less interest in being with others More withdrawal from friends and family Shows anger readily Seems unusually tired Dramatic change in appearance Seeks isolation Unexplained marks, bruises

39. What can we do? * Keep lines of communication open * Stay vigilant : ** monitor facebook and twitter ** check texting conversations and history on computers ** set boundaries with technology use ** talk to other parents if a party is planned. Make sure there is supervision. ** Check it out!

40. WHAT WE CAN DO Listen, listen,listen. Have conversations before the trouble: If you wait until the trouble occurs, it is more difficult to address. Ex. Curfew, drinking/driving, boyfriend/girlfriend Network with other parents Provide mental health support if necessary

41. DRUGS, ALCOHOL, & SEX CRIMES

42. 10 cases involving underage alcohol possession/ consumption, possession of drugs/ drug paraphernalia 10 arrests were made 4 students suspended for being under the influence of/ possessing drugs at BHS 1 expulsion from BHS for possession of drugs 2011 DRUG STATS

43. 6 cases involving underage alcohol possession/ consumption, possession of drugs/ drug paraphernalia 5 arrests were made 4 students suspended out of possessing drugs incident at BMS 3 expulsion from BMS for possession of drugs 2012 DRUG STATS

44. Report suspected drug activity AS ITS HAPPENING Report suspected underage alcohol parties Give as much detail as possible REPORTING DRUG CRIMES

45. Educate your child through discussion, programs, social media, etc. Dont IGNORE the signs Monitor telecommunication device usage Talk to other parents in the community PREVENTION

46. 9 cases reported 7 cases involved victims 18 and younger 1 case was presented to the GJ 2011 SEX CRIMES

47. 8 cases reported 6 cases involved victims 18 and younger 2 case was presented to the GJ with one pending 2012 SEX CRIMES

48. Victims NEED to report to Police ASAP Victims SHOULD NOT shower, brush their teeth, rinse their mouths out or drink anything, wash their clothes, etc. Rape kits should be done within 72 hours of the incident to preserve evidence Victims NEED a support system REPORTING SEX CRIMES

49. Educate your child through discussion, programs, social media, etc. Monitor your childs phone, computer, and other telecommunication device usage Talk to other parents in the community PREVENTION

50. POSITIVE COMMUNICATION

51. Model healthy self-respect. Know child developmental norms. Encourage and appreciate positive behaviors. Listen completely. POSITIVE COMMUNICATION

52. Put limits on behaviors, not feelings – All feelings can be accepted. Skills: Neutral facial expression and body language, empathic silence, one word responses, identify and name feelings, patience LISTENING SKILLS

53. Put limits on behaviors, not feelings – All feelings can be accepted. Avoid knee-jerk responses that spark defensiveness and shut down communication. LISTENING SKILLS

54. Put limits on behaviors, not feelings – All feelings can be accepted. Avoid knee-jerk responses that spark defensiveness and shut down communication. Roadblocks: criticizing, diagnosing, lecturing, blaming, shaming, interrogating, over- sympathizing, giving solutions LISTENING SKILLS

55. Put limits on behaviors, not feelings – All feelings can be accepted. Avoid knee-jerk responses that spark defensiveness and shut down communication. Parents dont have to fix every problem for their kids. LISTENING SKILLS

56. Model healthy self-respect. Know child developmental norms. Encourage and appreciate positive behaviors. Listen completely. Protect childrens safety with supervision, routines, rules, and positive discipline. POSITIVE COMMUNICATION

57. Protect childrens safety with supervision, routines, rules, and positive discipline. Provide a neutral description of the situation. Share how you feel about the situation. Educate with information your child might not know. State your expectations clearly and briefly. PROTECT CHILDREN FROM THEMSELVES AND OTHERS

58. Protect childrens safety with supervision, routines, rules, and positive discipline. Set rules for health, safety and respect. Provide choices and consequences. Be consistent. PROTECT CHILDREN FROM THEMSELVES AND OTHERS

59. Model healthy self-respect. Know child developmental norms. Encourage and appreciate positive behaviors. Listen completely. Protect childrens safety with supervision, routines, rules, and positive discipline. Problem solve with children and others. Allow mistakes. Encourage independence. POSITIVE COMMUNICATION

60. Love, Listen, Limit POSITIVE COMMUNICATION