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Presentation on theme: "ELEMENTS OF A DOM/SUB and M/s RELATIONSHIP"— Presentation transcript:

Fetlife - Stocsnbnds


3 DISCLAIMER This discussion is about Dominant/Submissive and Master/Slave relationships. We are not talking about other forms of power exchange relationships. There are other relationships such as Owner/pet, Daddy/babygirl and so on, that also have elements of power exchange.

4 Defining a D/s Relationship
Power Exchange There will be a significant amount of control by one person. The exchange is typically not just during a scene. There is a commitment between the people to maintain a relationship. We are focusing on more than just a short scene relationship.

5 Relationship Types Master or Mistress/slave
Master or Dominant or Mistress/submissive Slave equals property and ownership. Slave will have very little control over what he/she does. The highest form of submission. The Master’s wants and needs come first. The Master/Dominant may not have control over every single area of the submissive’s life. Lots of negotiation.

6 What extent? Part Time Long Distance Full time, non live-in
Full time, live-in 24/7 Consensual Slavery

7 The Hierarchical Role D/s is a question of mind over matter.
Does not require dungeon or sex toys Submission depends on his/her will to fulfill the needs of the Dominant. The Dominant must be able to direct the submissive’s will with his/her own. It requires much more mental play than physical.

8 Know What You Want To be served by another/serve another?
Is it fulltime? Slave? Exclusive relationship? Is it just service and fun, or is a serious long-term relationship the goal?

9 Qualities to Look for in a Dom
NOTE: Just because he/she is a good top does not automatically mean they will be a good dominant. Confidence without ASSHOLE

10 Ability To control by will To use toys safely If the sub must tell the Dom how to dominant, they aren’t being dominated

11 Observant Creative Loving/cherishing/Detached – You have to be able to “hurt” and “discipline” the sub when needed without love getting in the way. Grateful, Courteous Honesty, Integrity

12 Qualities to Look For in a Sub
Pride in him/herself – no doormats Respectful, Courteous Intelligent Honesty Attentive Able to perform tasks Obedient

13 Negotiation Consent, Consent, Consent Safewords/Limits Truth
Interrogation – Lists

14 Contracts Do you have to have one? What are good things to include
Behavior/Body Functions/Interactions Public Behavior (Are there different rules/expectations) Expectations Rules, Signals Rewards/Punishments Terms and amendments

15 The Collar Earning it and/or the petition Levels Play vs. Everyday
Consideration Training Submissive Slave Play vs. Everyday Consideration collar - A commitment that has a time limit. Maybe 3 or 6 months. At the end of the time either the next step would be persuade or the collar would be dropped and just a play partner relationship would exist. It is not intended as a long term type of collar. Limited control outside of play time. Training collar - Step may be skipped but this would be a transition point that shows and interest in both parties for the sub to be trained to the wishes and style of the top. This would be another sort of holding point to make sure that things are going to work for both parties. Could even stay  like this forever. Still limited control outside of play time. Submissive collar - Serious level of commitment. May have a time frame and not be intended for life. At this point the top would really begin to control all aspects of the bottom. She would be property of the top. Slave collar - VERY serious level of commitment. Slave gives up all control.

16 Training(Beginning & Reinforcement)
Living Together vs. Coming Together Punishment Play Time Protocols Rituals Greeting, separation, eating, play Diary, journal

17 Submissive Attitude Dom(me) wishes are foremost
Attentive near mind reading Intelligent vs. doormat RESPECT – Self, your Dom, other Doms Common sub positions (walking, sitting, standing, etc…)

18 Dom Attitude If you can’t control yourself you can NOT control others.
Recipe for failure – Making sub constantly do things they don’t want to just because you can. Attentive HUGE responsibility Intelligent vs. Asshole Accountability (Self and Sub)

19 Punishment The scene of the crime vs. the scene of punishment
Reserved implements Not Fun and not a play scene Impact, humiliation, deprivation Should fit the crime Working with anger

20 Rewards Praise, Praise, Praise Special Names
Special toys or scenes (even if it doesn’t turn you on) Added privileges

21 Ending the Relationship
May equal pain caused by death Kindness and consideration Returning personal items/Dividing the booty Returning the collar and other scene accessories Try not to bad mouth each other Be gracious when meeting Don’t gloat to your former partner with your new partner Keep the garbage off of the internet!!!!


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