1. Sentence Level Revisions
BA 6

2. Essay Check  Thesis  Organizational Sentence (if you need one)
 Topic Sentence 1
 Topic Sentence 2
Topic Sentence 3
Conclusion

3. ✔ Thesis
Does the thesis clearly state the purpose of your literature review?
Make sure you are not setting up an argument or an informative essay.
However, you will want the topic you are reviewing to be something you can argue about for draft 2.1
Is the thesis focused on a narrow topic?

4. ✔ Organizational Sentence/Introduction
 A statement telling the reader what major points you are going to cover
Do your topic sentences CLEARLY relate to your organizational statement and/or the thesis?
Are they built off of it?
Do you set a clear structure for your paper?
Do you set a clear scope (focus) for your paper?
Do you follow the order of the topics you set up?

5. ✔ Topic Sentences 1-3 Each topic is a mini thesis
Each paragraph is a mini essay
Contains
Opening
Main idea
Support
Closing
ASK: does each sentence in the paragraph directly support this topic sentence? The thesis?

6. Body Sentences…
All of the information in each sentence needs to be relevant
Cut fluff
Check that all your sentences answer the question “so what?”

7. Body Sentences…
Find your pronouns: “it,” “they, “these,” “them”; can you fill that space with a better word or phrase?
Make stronger sentences by removing “to be” verbs
Still stuck? Try removing as many articles (a, an, the) as possible (and reasonable)

8. Sentence Level Revision
5 R’s {
Restructure sentences or p.graph
Reword concepts
Reorder sentences or comp’s
Remove sentences and fluff
Readdress thesis/topic

9. Try this! You have 10-15 minutes Make sure you have a thesis that is
Sets up a Literature Review
Strong
Clear
Focused
Take a paragraph, at least 6-8 sentences, and revise it using 3-5 of the 5 R’s
You have minutes

10. Now Trade! 5-10 minutes Evaluate their thesis:
Does the thesis set up a Literature review? (If not, what is it doing?)
Is the thesis strong?
Is the thesis clear?
Is the thesis focused?
Look at their revision compared to their original:
What R’s did they use?
Is the revision stronger?
Why? Why not?
Would you change anything?
Give their revision a grade:
A: no change required
B: some change required
C: much change required
5-10 minutes

11. BA6
Revise a substantial body paragraph from 1.1 (at least 6-8 sentences)
Write a short summary and evaluation of your revisions.
Explain the revisions you have made and their impact on the
audience,
purpose, and
meaning of your draft as a whole.
No length requirement, but make sure you have at least 6-8 sentences to revise
Provide your thesis statement before your revised paragraph.

12. Before The Clock Strikes 12
BA Deliverables
Statement of thesis
Original paragraph
Revised paragraph
Summary of Revisions
DUE 2/20/2011
Before The Clock Strikes 12

13. Helpful Readings
Chapter in the E-handbook