1. Conversations that Give Life Peter Fitch, St. Croix Vineyard Sunday, May 1, 2016

3. Preliminary Thoughts Elephant and Rider The problem with will (Walter, St. Paul) The problem with reason (Erich Fromm) Importance of learning how to whisper to your elephant Importance of building and following a good path And one more...

4. How People Grow (Cloud and Townsend) If one of you walked out of this meeting and a guy with a mask walked up to you in the dark parking lot, took out a knife, stabbed you in the stomach, took all your money, and left you in an unconscious state, you would call him a mugger. Someone would call the police and they would try to find the perpetrator.

5. How People Grow (Cloud and Townsend) But if you left this meeting, drove down the street to the local hospital, and a guy with a mask came to you in a brightly lit room, took out a knife, cut your stomach open, took all your money, and left you in an unconscious state, you would call him a doctor and thank him for helping you. One is a mugging, and the other is surgery.

6. New Questions Is it possible to become good at whispering to someone else’s elephant? Keeping in mind Pope Francis’ 9 th principle in his 10 Secrets of Happiness, is it legitimate to even try?

7. Pope Francis: 10 Secrets to Happiness 9. Don't proselytize; respect others' beliefs. "We can inspire others through witness so that one grows together in communicating. But the worst thing of all is religious proselytism, which paralyzes: 'I am talking with you in order to persuade you,' No. Each person dialogues, starting with his and her own identity. The church grows by attraction, not proselytizing," the pope said.

8. New Thought As big as our elephants are, they seem to act like turtles in some conversations They pull back, hide, look for protection They are elusive in the presence of strong negative emotions or people who bring guilt, judgment and condemnation They only come out when the coast is clear They reveal themselves in trust

9. John 4, The Woman at the Well 3 He left Judea and went away again into Galilee. 4 And He had to pass through Samaria. 5 So He came to a city of Samaria called Sychar, near the parcel of ground that Jacob gave to his son Joseph; 6 and Jacob’s well was there. So Jesus, being wearied from His journey, was sitting thus by the well. It was about the sixth hour.

10. John 4, The Woman at the Well 7 There came a woman of Samaria to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give Me a drink.” 8 For His disciples had gone away into the city to buy food. 9 Therefore the Samaritan woman said to Him, “How is it that You, being a Jew, ask me for a drink since I am a Samaritan woman?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.)

11. John 4, The Woman at the Well 10 Jesus answered and said to her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give Me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water.” 11 She said to Him, “Sir, You have nothing to draw with and the well is deep; where then do You get that living water?

12. John 4, The Woman at the Well 12 You are not greater than our father Jacob, are You, who gave us the well, and drank of it himself and his sons and his cattle?” 13 Jesus answered and said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; 14 but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.”

13. John 4, The Woman at the Well 15 The woman said to Him, “ [ Sir, give me this water, so I will not be thirsty nor come all the way here to draw.” 16 He said to her, “Go, call your husband and come here.” 17 The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You have correctly said, ‘I have no husband’; 18 for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; this you have said truly.”

14. What can we learn? Jesus draws out the one who is there to draw water... He has “nothing to draw with” He breaks through cultural understandings of racism and moral bigotry to make her elephant feel welcome Then He ups the ante... He gently leads her into increasing dimensions of Light, Truth and Meaning

15. Responding to wild dogs...

16. Implications How should we treat others in conversations? Are there legitimate ways to steer people toward the love of God? How should we treat others in situations where we get a chance to pray for people?