1. Wordiness MENUEXIT Your writing should be as clear and concise as possible. Eliminate unnecessary words and phrases. Continue…

2. Wordiness MENUEXIT Your writing should be as clear and concise as possible. Eliminate unnecessary words and phrases. Can you spot the unnecessary words in this sentence? I believe that Hank Aaron is famous on account of the fact that he hit 755 home runs during the course of his career in major league baseball. Click to view the unnecessary words PREVIOUS

3. Wordiness PREVIOUS Click to see a revision MENUEXIT Your writing should be as clear and concise as possible. Eliminate unnecessary words and phrases. Can you spot the unnecessary words in this sentence? I believe that Hank Aaron is famous on account of the fact that he hit 755 home runs during the course of his career in major league baseball. Wordiness

4. PREVIOUS Your writing should be as clear and concise as possible. Eliminate unnecessary words and phrases. I believe that Hank Aaron is famous on account of the fact that he hit 755 home runs during the course of his career in major league baseball. ORIGINAL REVISED Hank Aaron is famous because he hit 755 home runs during his career in major league baseball. MENUEXIT Next Wordiness

5. Use the following strategies to revise wordy sentences. Click on the strategy you want to explore. MENUEXIT MENU Wordiness Eliminate padding Delete repeated ideas Reduce the number of modifiers Change clauses to phrases Remove unnecessary information

6. Wordiness MENUEXIT Eliminate Padding Be sure your sentences don’t contain empty or unnecessary phrases. Wordiness Continue…

7. Wordiness PREVIOUS MENUEXIT Next Eliminate Padding Be sure your sentences don’t contain empty or unnecessary phrases. because of the fact that the reason is during the course of for the purpose of from the point of view of Wordiness Phrases to watch out for include the following:

8. Wordiness PREVIOUS MENUEXIT Click to view the unnecessary phrase Eliminate Padding Which phrase can be eliminated from this sentence? He exercised every day in an effort to lose weight. Wordiness Be sure your sentences don’t contain empty or unnecessary phrases.

9. Wordiness PREVIOUS Click to see a revision MENUEXIT Eliminate Padding Which phrase can be eliminated from this sentence? He exercised every day in an effort to lose weight. Wordiness Be sure your sentences don’t contain empty or unnecessary phrases.

10. Wordiness PREVIOUS MENUEXIT Wordiness Eliminate Padding Which phrase can be eliminated from this sentence? He exercised every day in an effort to lose weight.. Be sure your sentences don’t contain empty or unnecessary phrases.

11. Wordiness MENUEXIT Eliminate Padding Wordiness Be sure your sentences don’t contain empty or unnecessary phrases. He exercised every day in an effort to lose weight.

12. Wordiness MENUEXIT Eliminate Padding Wordiness Be sure your sentences don’t contain empty or unnecessary phrases. He exercised every day in an effort to lose weight.

13. Wordiness MENUEXIT Eliminate Padding He exercised every day in an effo to lose weight. Wordiness Be sure your sentences don’t contain empty or unnecessary phrases.

14. Wordiness MENUEXIT Eliminate Padding He exercised every day in an to lose weight. Wordiness Be sure your sentences don’t contain empty or unnecessary phrases.

15. Wordiness PREVIOUS MENUEXIT Menu Eliminate Padding He exercised every day to lose weight. Wordiness Be sure your sentences don’t contain empty or unnecessary phrases.

16. Wordiness Delete Repeated Ideas Sometimes you may repeat the same idea in two different ways. Wordiness MENUEXIT Continue…

17. Wordiness PREVIOUS Delete Repeated Ideas Which idea is repeated in the following sentence? The winds were roaring and loud around the campfire. Sometimes you may repeat the same idea in two different ways. Wordiness MENUEXIT Click to view the repeated idea

18. Wordiness PREVIOUS Delete Repeated Ideas Which idea is repeated in the following sentence? The winds were roaring and loud around the campfire. Sometimes you may repeat the same idea in two different ways. MENUEXIT Wordiness Click to see a revision

19. Wordiness PREVIOUS Delete Repeated Ideas Sometimes you may repeat the same idea in two different ways. The winds were roaring and loud around the campfire. ORIGINAL The winds were roaring around the campfire. REVISED MENUEXIT Wordiness Menu

20. Wordiness Reduce the Number of Modifiers Too many modifiers can actually decrease a sentence’s effectiveness. MENUEXIT Wordiness Continue…

21. Wordiness PREVIOUS Reduce the Number of Modifiers Too many modifiers can actually decrease a sentence’s effectiveness. Where are the modifiers in the following sentence? The sports program’s basic, underlying, fundamental principle is teamwork. MENUEXIT Wordiness Click to view the modifiers

22. Wordiness PREVIOUS Reduce the Number of Modifiers Where are the modifiers in the following sentence? Too many modifiers can actually decrease a sentence’s effectiveness. The sports program’s basic, underlying, fundamental principle is teamwork. MENUEXIT Wordiness Continue…

23. Wordiness PREVIOUS Reduce the Number of Modifiers Which modifiers could be removed? Too many modifiers can actually decrease a sentence’s effectiveness. The sports program’s basic, underlying, fundamental principle is teamwork. MENUEXIT Wordiness Click to see the unnecessary modifiers

24. Wordiness PREVIOUS Reduce the Number of Modifiers Which modifiers could be removed? Too many modifiers can actually decrease a sentence’s effectiveness. The sports program’s basic, underlying, fundamental principle is teamwork. MENUEXIT Wordiness Click to see a revision i

25. Wordiness Reduce the Number of Modifiers Which modifiers could be removed? Too many modifiers can actually decrease a sentence’s effectiveness. The sports program’s basic, underlying, fundamental principle is teamwork. MENUEXIT Wordiness i CLOSE The strong word funtamental already implies basic and underlying.

26. Wordiness PREVIOUS MENUEXIT Wordiness Reduce the Number of Modifiers Which modifiers could be removed? Too many modifiers can actually decrease a sentence’s effectiveness. The sports program’s basic, underlying, fundamental principle is teamwork.

27. Wordiness The sports program’s basic, underlying, fundamental principle is teamwork. The sports program’s basic, underlying, Reduce the Number of Modifiers Too many modifiers can actually decrease a sentence’s effectiveness. MENUEXIT Wordiness

28. Reduce the Number of Modifiers The sports program’s basic, underlying, fundamental principle is teamwork. Too many modifiers can actually decrease a sentence’s effectiveness. MENUEXIT Wordiness

29. Reduce the Number of Modifiers The sports program’s basic, under fundamental principle is teamwork. Too many modifiers can actually decrease a sentence’s effectiveness. MENUEXIT Wordiness

30. Reduce the Number of Modifiers The sports program’s basic fundamental principle is teamwork. Too many modifiers can actually decrease a sentence’s effectiveness. MENUEXIT Wordiness

31. PREVIOUS Wordiness The sports program’s fundamental principle is teamwork. Reduce the Number of Modifiers Too many modifiers can actually decrease a sentence’s effectiveness. MENUEXIT Menu

32. Wordiness Change Clauses to Phrases Clauses that begin with who is, that is, or which is can often be reduced to simple phrases. MENUEXIT Wordiness Continue…

33. Wordiness PREVIOUS Change Clauses to Phrases Clauses that begin with who is, that is, or which is can often be reduced to simple phrases. The movie theater, which is located on the corner of Main and Pleasant Streets, is closed for renovations. In the following sentence, which clause could be changed to a phrase? MENUEXIT Wordiness Click to view the clause

34. Wordiness PREVIOUS Change Clauses to Phrases The movie theater, which is located on the corner of Main and Pleasant Streets, is closed for renovations. In the following sentence, which clause could be changed to a phrase? Clauses that begin with who is, that is, or which is can often be reduced to simple phrases. MENUEXIT Wordiness Continue…

35. Wordiness PREVIOUS Change Clauses to Phrases The movie theater, which is located on the corner of Main and Pleasant Streets, is closed for renovations. How could you rewrite this clause as a phrase? Clauses that begin with who is, that is, or which is can often be reduced to simple phrases. MENUEXIT Wordiness Click to see a revision

36. Wordiness PREVIOUS Change Clauses to Phrases The movie theater, which is located on the corner of Main and Pleasant Streets, is closed for renovations. How could you rewrite this clause as a phrase? Clauses that begin with who is, that is, or which is can often be reduced to simple phrases. MENUEXIT Wordiness

37. The movie theater, which is located on the corner of Main and Pleasant Streets, is closed for renovations. Change Clauses to Phrases Delete the introductory words to turn the clause into a phrase. Clauses that begin with who is, that is, or which is can often be reduced to simple phrases. MENUEXIT Wordiness

38. The movie theater, which located on the corner of Main and Pleasant Streets, is closed for renovations. Change Clauses to Phrases Delete the introductory words to turn the clause into a phrase. Clauses that begin with who is, that is, or which is can often be reduced to simple phrases. MENUEXIT Wordiness

39. Change Clauses to Phrases Delete the introductory words to turn the clause into a phrase. The movie theater, wh located on the corner of Main and Pleasant Streets, is closed for renovations. Clauses that begin with who is, that is, or which is can often be reduced to simple phrases. MENUEXIT Wordiness

40. PREVIOUS The movie theater, located on the corner of Main and Pleasant Streets, is closed for renovations. Change Clauses to Phrases Delete the introductory words to turn the clause into a phrase. Clauses that begin with who is, that is, or which is can often be reduced to simple phrases. MENUEXIT Wordiness Menu

41. Wordiness Remove Unnecessary Information Only include information that is important for your reader to know. MENUEXIT Wordiness Continue…

42. Wordiness PREVIOUS Remove Unnecessary Information Only include information that is important for your reader to know. What information could be removed from the following sentence? The canoe trip, which we had been planning for months, began at the river’s source and ended at the mouth. MENUEXIT Wordiness Click to view the unnecessary words

43. Wordiness PREVIOUS Remove Unnecessary Information What information could be removed from the following sentence? The canoe trip, which we had been planning for months, began at the river’s source and ended at the mouth. Only include information that is important for your reader to know. MENUEXIT Wordiness Click to see a revision i

44. Wordiness PREVIOUS Wordiness Remove Unnecessary Information The canoe trip, which we had been planning for months, began at the river’s source and ended at the mouth. ORIGINAL The canoe trip began at the river’s source and ended at the mouth. REVISED Only include information that is important for your reader to know. MENU Menu EXIT

45. Wordiness The canoe trip, which we had been planning for months, began at the river’s source and ended at the mouth. Remove Unnecessary Information MENUEXIT Only include information that is important for your reader to know. i CLOSE The fact that they had been planning has nothing to do with the route this trip takes. Those words should be removed. Wordiness What information could be removed from the following sentence?