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Understanding Bullying “Taking a Stand Against Bullying” Parent Presentation.

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Presentation on theme: "Understanding Bullying “Taking a Stand Against Bullying” Parent Presentation."— Presentation transcript:

1 Understanding Bullying “Taking a Stand Against Bullying” Parent Presentation

2 What We Will Cover Definition of bullying Definition of bullying Bullying Myths Bullying Myths Victims Victims Bullies Bullies Cyberbulling Cyberbulling Handouts Handouts

3 “First Amendment” Can’t I Say What I Think?

4 It’s a free country? Can’t I do and say what I want at school? People at school are not as free to come and go as they are elsewhere in the broader community, and since they have to be where they are assigned, they are entitled to an environment free of harassment and discrimination.

5 Bullying is Unlawful

6 Bullying is… As defined by state law An intentional written, verbal or physical act, including but not limited to one shown to be motivated by any characteristic such as race, color, religion, ancestry, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, mental or physical disability, or other distinguishing characteristics, when the intentional act: An intentional written, verbal or physical act, including but not limited to one shown to be motivated by any characteristic such as race, color, religion, ancestry, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, mental or physical disability, or other distinguishing characteristics, when the intentional act:

7 State Law (a) Physically harms a student or damages his/her property; or (b) Substantially interferes with the student’s education; or (c) Is so severe, persistent or pervasive that it creates an intimidating or threatening educational environment; or (d) substantially disrupts the orderly operation of a school

8 Two requirements for conduct to trigger potential liability for unlawful harassment or bullying: (1) the conduct must be unwelcome; and (2) the conduct must be sufficiently severe or pervasive to unreasonably interfere with a students ability to get an education in the mind of the victim and from the perspective of a reasonable person in the victim’s position. (2) the conduct must be sufficiently severe or pervasive to unreasonably interfere with a students ability to get an education in the mind of the victim and from the perspective of a reasonable person in the victim’s position.

9 Intent vs Impact The statement, "I didn't mean anything by it," does not matter. The statement, "I didn't mean anything by it," does not matter. All that matters is the impact of the your behavior. impact

10 Bullying Happens in Four Ways Written Written Notes, emails, pictures Notes, emails, pictures Verbal Verbal Teasing, jokes, ignoring/isolation, gossip, threats Teasing, jokes, ignoring/isolation, gossip, threats Physical Physical Blocking someone’s path, physical restraint, pushing/kicking, hazing Blocking someone’s path, physical restraint, pushing/kicking, hazing Sexual Sexual Teasing, touching, slapping,, graffiti, sexual assault Teasing, touching, slapping,, graffiti, sexual assault Property Property Hiding belongings, theft, arson, extortion, vandalism, destruction Hiding belongings, theft, arson, extortion, vandalism, destruction

11 Types of Bullying: Verbal Accounts for 70% of reported bullying used by both boys and girls used by both boys and girls easy to get away with easy to get away with quick & painless for bully, can be devastating for the victim quick & painless for bully, can be devastating for the victim involves false or malicious rumors, gossip involves false or malicious rumors, gossip may include name calling, taunting, belittling, racial slurs, sexually suggestive or abusive remarks may include name calling, taunting, belittling, racial slurs, sexually suggestive or abusive remarks

12 Types of Bullying: Physical Accounts for about 30% of bullying slapping, hitting, choking, kicking, poking, punching slapping, hitting, choking, kicking, poking, punching older and stronger the bully, the greater the likelihood of serious physical harm older and stronger the bully, the greater the likelihood of serious physical harm most troubled of all bullies; more likely to move to more serious criminal offences over time most troubled of all bullies; more likely to move to more serious criminal offences over time Most frequent type used by boys

13 Types of Bullying: Relational Most difficult to detect ignoring, shunning, excluding or isolating with the shunning and rumor combination as the most powerful ignoring, shunning, excluding or isolating with the shunning and rumor combination as the most powerful used to alienate a peer, ruin friendships used to alienate a peer, ruin friendships most powerful in middle school years most powerful in middle school years Most frequent type used by girls

14 Simply stated, bullying… Bullying is a learned behavior It is a conscious, willful, deliberate act of hostility intended to harm, induce fear through the threat of further aggression It is a conscious, willful, deliberate act of hostility intended to harm, induce fear through the threat of further aggression Happens repeatedly and over time Happens repeatedly and over time An imbalance of power or strength; peer abuse An imbalance of power or strength; peer abuse

15 Bullying is……. an imbalance of power an imbalance of power an intention to cause emotional &/or physical pain an intention to cause emotional &/or physical pain a threat of further aggression a threat of further aggression not about anger or conflict -it is about contempt, entitlement not about anger or conflict -it is about contempt, entitlement Arrogance in Action!

16 Difference Between... Teasing Teasing swap roles with ease swap roles with ease isn’t intended to hurt isn’t intended to hurt pokes fun, light- hearted pokes fun, light- hearted innocent motive innocent motive discontinues when person becomes upset or objects to teasing discontinues when person becomes upset or objects to teasing Bullying Bullying is one-sided, power basis intended to harm humiliating, cruel, thinly disguised as “just joking” laughter directed AT target, not WITH target continues regardless of objections

17 Differentiating Bullying from Normal Peer Conflict/Mean Behavior Normal conflict/mean behavior Normal conflict/mean behavior Equal power or are friends Equal power or are friends Happens occasionally Happens occasionally Accidental Accidental Equal emotional reaction Equal emotional reaction Not seeking power Not seeking power Remorse-will take responsibility Remorse-will take responsibility Effort to solve the problem Effort to solve the problem

18 Differentiating Bullying from Normal Peer Conflict/Mean Behavior Bullying Bullying Imbalance of power Imbalance of power Repeated negative actions Repeated negative actions Intentional Intentional Physical or emotional harm Physical or emotional harm Unequal emotional reaction Unequal emotional reaction Seeking control/material things Seeking control/material things No remorse-blames target No remorse-blames target No effort to solve the problem No effort to solve the problem

19 Prevalence Rate Bullying occurs once every 7 minutes Bullying occurs once every 7 minutes Occurs once every 25 minutes in the classroom Occurs once every 25 minutes in the classroom Bullying stops within 10 seconds 57% of the time when peers intervene Bullying stops within 10 seconds 57% of the time when peers intervene 85% of students indicate that watching bullying makes them uncomfortable 85% of students indicate that watching bullying makes them uncomfortable

20 Prevalence Rates More prevalent during late elementary through middle school years More prevalent during late elementary through middle school years Increases after age 8 years –grade 3 Increases after age 8 years –grade 3 Reaches a peak in grades 6-8 Reaches a peak in grades 6-8 Declines after grade 8, but slowly Declines after grade 8, but slowly More males than females are bullied More males than females are bullied

21 Characteristics: Bully & Victim Character differences are distinct: Bullies display an angry behavioral style, stronger, chip on the shoulder approach Bullies display an angry behavioral style, stronger, chip on the shoulder approach Victims tend to be sad and anxious, often fearful, especially in the face of social demands Victims tend to be sad and anxious, often fearful, especially in the face of social demands

22 Who Gets Targeted by Bullies? Students who “don’t fit in” are more at risk Students who “don’t fit in” are more at risk Being emotional seems to mark some victims –angry outbursts or crying Being emotional seems to mark some victims –angry outbursts or crying Students who have trouble making friends or breaking into peer associations/groups Students who have trouble making friends or breaking into peer associations/groups 80% of taunting experienced by children ages 9-11yrs has to do with appearance standards and personal hygiene 80% of taunting experienced by children ages 9-11yrs has to do with appearance standards and personal hygiene

23 Bullying is not…... Normal childhood conflict like sibling rivalry or 1 to 1 fighting or arguing an act of impulsive aggression an act of impulsive aggression an indiscriminate behavior, e.g. no intended victim an indiscriminate behavior, e.g. no intended victim a random act a random act

24 “Five Myths About Bullying” TRUE-FALSE QUIZ

25 “Ten Myths About Bullying” A TRUE-FALSE QUIZ

26 1. Bullying is not the same thing as conflict. TRUE. Bullying is aggressive behavior that involves an imbalance of power or strength. Often, bullying is repeated over time.

27 2. Most bullying is physical (involves hitting, shoving, kicking). FALSE. Physical bullying may be what first comes to mind when adults think about bullying. However, the most common form of bullying— both for boys and girls—is verbal bullying (e.g., name-calling, rumor spreading). It is also common for youth to bully each other through social isolation (e.g., shunning or leaving a child out on purpose).

28 3. Bullying isn’t serious. It’s just a matter of “kids being kids.” FALSE. Children who are bullied are more likely than other children to have lower self-esteem; and higher rates of depression, loneliness, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. They also are more likely to want to avoid attending school and have higher school absenteeism rates.

29 4. Bullying doesn’t happen at my child’s school. FALSE (probably). Studies show that between 15-25% of U.S. students are bullied with some frequency ("sometimes or more often") while 15- 20% admit that they bully others with some frequency within a school term.

30 5. Bullying is mostly a problem in urban schools. FALSE. Bullying occurs in rural, suburban, and urban communities, and among children of every income level, race, and geographic region.

31 6. Children and youth who are bullied will almost never tell an adult. TRUE. Most studies find that only 25%- 50% of bullied children talk to an adult about the bullying. Boys and older children are less likely than girls and younger children to tell adults about bullying.

32 7. Bullying is more likely to happen on the bus than at school. FALSE. Most surveys indicate that bullying is more likely to occur on school grounds. Common locations for bullying include playgrounds, the classroom, the cafeteria, bathrooms, and hallways.

33 8. Children who bully are mostly loners with few social skills. FALSE. Children who bully usually do not lack friends. In fact, some research finds that they have larger friendship networks than other children. Importantly, they usually have at least a small group of friends who support and encourage their bullying behavior.

34 9. Bullied kids should not have to deal with bullying on their own. TRUE. Children shouldn’t be expected to deal with bullying on their own. Bullying is a form of victimization or peer abuse.

35 10. Most children and youth who observe bullying don’t want to get involved. FALSE. The good news is that most children and youth think that bullying is “not cool” and feel that they should do something if they see it happen. In a recent study of teens, (Brown, Birch, & Kancherla, 2005), 56% said that they usually either say or do something to try to stop bullying that they observe or tell someone who could help. FALSE. The good news is that most children and youth think that bullying is “not cool” and feel that they should do something if they see it happen. In a recent study of teens, (Brown, Birch, & Kancherla, 2005), 56% said that they usually either say or do something to try to stop bullying that they observe or tell someone who could help.

36 For the target, bullying is a “loss” experience. LOSS of safety LOSS of safety LOSS of self-esteem LOSS of self-esteem LOSS of belonging LOSS of belonging LOSS of control over their own life LOSS of control over their own life

37 Effects of Bullying on the Target Physical Effects Physical Effects Stomach aches Stomach aches Weight loss/gain Weight loss/gain Headaches Headaches Drop in grades Drop in grades Drug or alcohol use Drug or alcohol use Sexual activity Sexual activity Physical aggression Physical aggression Suicidal Suicidal Homicidal Homicidal Emotional Effects Emotional Effects Alienation Low self-esteem Insecurity FEAR Depression Withdrawn Aggression Anger Vengeful

38 Warning Signs that your child may be the target of bullies Frequently teased, taunted belittled, ridiculed, intimidated threatened, dominated or subdued Frequently teased, taunted belittled, ridiculed, intimidated threatened, dominated or subdued Has a derogatory nickname Has a derogatory nickname Regularly has bruises or injuries that can’t be explained Regularly has bruises or injuries that can’t be explained Has belongings taken or damaged Has belongings taken or damaged Few or no close friends at school Few or no close friends at school

39 Warning Signs Frequently socially isolated Frequently socially isolated Less assertive or lacks the skills to respond to others’ teasing or harassment Less assertive or lacks the skills to respond to others’ teasing or harassment Appears weak or easily dominated Appears weak or easily dominated Tries to stay close to a teacher or other adult at recess or breaks Tries to stay close to a teacher or other adult at recess or breaks

40 What To Do if you suspect your child is being bullied Talk with your child Talk with your child If your child is being bullied, they need to have a voice in how the situation is handled. If your child is being bullied, they need to have a voice in how the situation is handled. Contact the school Contact the school Contact police or school resource officer… Contact police or school resource officer…

41 Recommendations if you suspect your child is being bullied Don’t encourage your child to fight back— two wrongs don’t make a right! Don’t encourage your child to fight back— two wrongs don’t make a right! Listen to your child, do not ignore your child’s plea for help. Listen to your child, do not ignore your child’s plea for help. Don’t confront the parents or the other child directly. Don’t confront the parents or the other child directly. Avoid bringing your child and the bully together to elicit an apology or resolve the issue. Avoid bringing your child and the bully together to elicit an apology or resolve the issue. Diary their day at school each night. Diary their day at school each night.

42 What about the bully? Studies show that children identified as bullies by age 8 are six times more likely to be convicted of a crime by age 24. Studies show that children identified as bullies by age 8 are six times more likely to be convicted of a crime by age 24. 60% of kids characterized as bullies in the 6th- 9th grade had at least one criminal conviction by age 24. Brewster & Railsback 60% of kids characterized as bullies in the 6th- 9th grade had at least one criminal conviction by age 24. Brewster & Railsback Bullies are five times more likely to end up with a serious criminal record by age 30. National Association of School Psychologists Bullies are five times more likely to end up with a serious criminal record by age 30. National Association of School Psychologists

43 Warning Signs that your child may be bullying others Frequent name-calling Frequent name-calling Regular bragging Regular bragging A need to always get his/her own way A need to always get his/her own way Spending more time with younger or less powerful kids Spending more time with younger or less powerful kids A lack of empathy for others A lack of empathy for others A defiant or hostile attitude; easily takes offense A defiant or hostile attitude; easily takes offense Frequent misbehavior at school (e.g. name calling, teasing, intimidating, physical aggression) Frequent misbehavior at school (e.g. name calling, teasing, intimidating, physical aggression)

44 What To Do if you suspect your child may be bullying others Talk with your child Talk with your child Never condone bullying behavior; speak up and tell your child that the behavior they are engaging in is considered bullying. Never condone bullying behavior; speak up and tell your child that the behavior they are engaging in is considered bullying. Encourage empathy for others Encourage empathy for others Remind your child that everyone has a right to be themselves, to choose their own friends and to feel safe at school. Remind your child that everyone has a right to be themselves, to choose their own friends and to feel safe at school.

45 What To Do Reinforce respectful behaviors at home Reinforce respectful behaviors at home Contact the school for help Contact the school for help Set up a meeting with your child’s teacher's) or counselor. Set up a meeting with your child’s teacher's) or counselor. Develop a plan for change. Develop a plan for change.

46 What Can Bystanders Do About Bullying? (other students) Have EMPATHY –how would you feel if you were being bullied? Have EMPATHY –how would you feel if you were being bullied? Be a friend and have at least one good friend who will stick with you through thick and thin Be a friend and have at least one good friend who will stick with you through thick and thin Be part of a group and know when to leave the group if it is not serving you well Be part of a group and know when to leave the group if it is not serving you well Include those students who seem to be left out Include those students who seem to be left out Be willing to help someone Be willing to help someone

47 Continued…. When you see someone being bullied, tell an adult If you can’t stop the bullying, walk away, get help from an adult, and get others to do the same –bullies want an audience If you can’t stop the bullying, walk away, get help from an adult, and get others to do the same –bullies want an audience

48 Internet Safety Why do you need to be concerned? Why do you need to be concerned? What can parents do to reduce the risks? What can parents do to reduce the risks?

49 Why do parents need to be concerned? Serious incidents are occurring daily Serious incidents are occurring daily Kids want to trust people Kids want to trust people People on chat lines (MSN) may be lying People on chat lines (MSN) may be lying

50 Cyberbullying: Methods E-mails-emailing gossip to groups, forwarding private mail E-mails-emailing gossip to groups, forwarding private mail Chat rooms-virtual room, real-time conversations Chat rooms-virtual room, real-time conversations Instant messaging-subscribers create a contact list of those they want to communicate with Instant messaging-subscribers create a contact list of those they want to communicate with

51 Cyberbullying: Methods Masquerading-stealing each other’s passwords or screen names for impersonation purposes Masquerading-stealing each other’s passwords or screen names for impersonation purposes Blogs-web logs: a widely read diary or online journal Blogs-web logs: a widely read diary or online journal Text messaging-mini, wireless emails sent between cellphone users; electronic way of “passing notes in school” or photos and post to the internet instantly. Text messaging-mini, wireless emails sent between cellphone users; electronic way of “passing notes in school” or photos and post to the internet instantly.

52 Reducing the Risks….. Establish rules for internet use Establish rules for internet use Keep the computer in a common space Keep the computer in a common space Have your kids check with you before setting up something online. Have your kids check with you before setting up something online. Kids should not send photos of themselves unless you approve Kids should not send photos of themselves unless you approve Kids need to check with parents before going into a chat room Kids need to check with parents before going into a chat room

53 Reducing the Risks….. Kids need to be told never to agree to meet anyone they meet online without parental permission Kids need to be told never to agree to meet anyone they meet online without parental permission Learn what your child is doing on the internet Learn what your child is doing on the internet Know what websites they are visiting Know what websites they are visiting Monitor your credit card bills Monitor your credit card bills

54 Messages for your Children… If someone online asks too many personal questions be suspicious and disconnect If someone online asks too many personal questions be suspicious and disconnect Think before you send an email –you can’t control where your words will go Think before you send an email –you can’t control where your words will go If kids receive unwanted, mean, threatening, offensive, harassing email, they need to report it to an adult If kids receive unwanted, mean, threatening, offensive, harassing email, they need to report it to an adult

55 Together, students, staff, and parents… “Taking a stand against bullying" to promote safe, respectful, nurturing learning communities.


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