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2. ActivityDetails ReadingThe Kaplan Guide to Successful Writing, ch. 13 (outlining) and pp. 194-196 in ch. 14 (on revising and editing) [in Doc Sharing] “Curbing Parental Sports Rage” in Doc Sharing Invention Lab/Discussion 1Post-draft outline Invention Lab/Discussion 2Draft of tech presentation Tech labGames, animation 2

3. How can you BROADCAST your message?  Blogs  Podcasts  Facebook and other online communities  PowerPoint Presentations  Other ideas? What strategy or outlet would you use to broadcast your message? Who would be your audience and what would your purpose be? 3

4.  Units 2-7 contain tech labs with links to tutorials on various technologies.  You will find sample presentations and a tutorial on Power Point presentations in Doc Sharing.  The Writing Center has several workshops on technology. 4

5.  Choose a technology and create a presentation with that technology.  Technologies can be combined, such as adding audio clips to a Power Point presentation.  Even if you are not visually creative, the message of your big idea should be clear in the method and outcome of the presentation. 5

6.  Overall message is clear and effective  Minimally, five facts, arguments, and/or insights are presented  Audience is considered in technology choice and design  Research sources are cited in APA format (put in separate Word document if desired)  Presentation is an original creation (except for cited material) 6

7.  You do not have to (and probably will not!) cover every idea in your essay draft in the tech presentation. You may choose to focus upon one supporting point in the essay, or you might do a presentation that is supplemental to your essay. If writing on childhood obesity, you might do an advertisement/public service announcement about this problem. 7

8.  Choose technology wisely—what can you reasonably learn how to do or what do you already know how to do?  Use your strengths (and know your weaknesses!)  Plan your message before creating your presentation (use the draft as a starting point)  Keep it simple  Design for your audience  Motivate your audience—what do you want them to do/believe after seeing the presentation? 8

9.  Post the tech presentation and the post- draft outline in the unit 7 Invention Lab/discussion. You will find a separate thread for each.  Attach file if needed (PPT, for example)  Include link to external site if needed (Animoto video)  Review sample posts! 9

10. What is revision and how does it differ from editing?  Post-Draft Outline  Paramedic Revision 10

11.  Allows writer to “see” whether the draft works  Pinpoints areas of weakness  Builds writer’s ability to evaluate work objectively 11

12.  Re-read your draft.  Number each paragraph in your draft.  On a separate sheet of paper, write a corresponding number (1, 2, 3, 4…).  Read the first paragraph again and next to the corresponding number, summarize that entire paragraph in one sentence.  Continue to do this for each paragraph in your draft.  Use your outline to help you objectively analyze your draft and locate areas that need revision. 12

13.  Can you follow the logic of your paper from beginning to end?  Do you see places where the connection between paragraphs seems hard to follow or hard to state?  Might you need to move a paragraph elsewhere in the paper?  Can you find places where you need to create a bridge between paragraphs or major ideas in your paper?  Are there places where you feel more needs to be said?  Are there paragraphs or passages that seem to repeat what has already been established earlier in the paper?  Was there a paragraph that was particularly difficult to summarize and might need to be divided in two? 13

14.  Read an essay entitled “Curbing Parental Sports Rage” (in Doc Sharing)  Create one sentence summarizing each of the 8 paragraphs.  Offer recommendations to the writer for revising the draft and making it more effective. 14

15.  What might help the writer improve her draft?  Any areas that are repeated?  How could transitions be strengthened? 15

16.  Paramedic Revision is a sentence level revision strategy that helps to make writing more clear and concise.  It revives tired, wordy, and awkward sentences and makes them more readable 16

17.  Circle the prepositions (of, in, about, for, onto, into)  Draw a box around the "is" verb forms  Ask, "Where's the action?"  Change the "action" into a simple verb  Move the doer into the subject (Who's kicking whom)  Eliminate any unnecessary slow wind-ups  Eliminate any redundancies. (“Paramedic Revision,” 2010). 17

18. The point I wish to make is that the employees working at this company are in need of a much better manager of their money. 18 Who is acting here? What is the action? Can this phrase be more concise? is are at of in

19. Employees at this company need a better money manager. 19

20.  It is widely known that the engineers at Sandia Labs have become active participants in the Search and Rescue operations in most years.  After reviewing the results of your previous research, and in light of the relevant information found within the context of the study, there is ample evidence for making important, significant changes to our operating procedures. (Paramedic Revision, 2010). 20

21.  Select a few sentences from your draft. Apply the Paramedic Revision strategy.  Show us the ORIGINAL SENTENCE.  How would you revise this sentence?  Help your classmates with revising sentences. 21