1. Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel Northwestern University
Do Men and Women Show Evidence of Reciprocal Liking While Speed-dating?
Paul Eastwick and Eli Finkel
Northwestern University

2. Reciprocity and Attraction (non-romantic)
Early studies: We tend to like people who like us (Backman & Secord, 1959)
David Kenny: 2 ways to measure reciprocity of liking
Dyadic – If I uniquely like you, do you uniquely like me?
Generalized – Are “likers” also liked in turn?
The answer to both is typically “yes”

3. Reciprocity and Attraction (non-romantic)
From Kenny (1994)
Study
Generalized
Dyadic
First Encounters: One on one
Burleson (1983)
.27
.26
Chapdelaine, Kenny, & LaFontana (1994)
.58
.42
Kenny & Bernstein (1982) xx
.29
First Encounters: Groups
Dabbs & Ruback (1987)
.36
.13
Kashy (1988)
.09
.28
Park & Flink (1989)
-.10
.18
Long-term acquaintance
.12
.49
Curry & Emerson (1970)
-.26
.48
Malloy & Albright (1990)
.75
Newcomb (1961)
Wright, Ingraham, & Blackner (1985)
.74
r =.43
r =.32
I’ll explain more about speed-dating later, but it’s basically the romantic equivalent of a blocked one-on-one design.

4. Reciprocity and Attraction (romantic)
Participants’ recall of falling-in-love experiences typically involve reciprocity
Ex: finding out the potential partner was interested in you (Aron, Dutton, Aron, & Iverson 1989)
But it could still be as (or more) common that we are uninterested in the people who like us
What about playing “hard to get”? (Walster et al., 1973)
Aron really only gets at half the story – what about all the times you learned about someone’s liking and you didn’t like them back?

5. Romantic vs. Platonic Liking
An individual who demonstrates platonic liking for many others is likable (Folkes & Sears, 1977)
“Likers” are typically nice people, so they are liked in return
But an individual who demonstrates romantic liking for many others?
This may come across as unselective or even desperate

6. Hypotheses In a purely romantic context…
Dyadic – Unique liking will be reciprocated (a positive correlation as in previous research)
Generalized – Likers will be disliked (a negative correlation unlike previous research)
Should correlate with measures of desperation
In other words, dyadic vs. generalized no longer operate in the same direction

8. Method – Speed-dating 163 Northwestern undergraduates
Completed a 30-minute background questionnaire online prior to the event
Met 9-13 opposite sex individuals for 4 minutes each
Completed a ~2 minute questionnaire after each date
After returning home, participants “yes” or “no” the other participants online
“Matches” can one another through web portal

9. Method – Measures (after each date)
Romantic Desire
I really liked my interaction partner
I was sexually attracted to my interaction partner
I am likely to say “yes” to my interaction partner
Chemistry – My interaction partner and I…
…seemed to have a lot in common
…seemed to have similar personalities
…had a real connection
Perceived Romantic Desire
I think that my interaction partner really liked me
I think that my interaction partner was sexually attracted to me
Perceived Unselectivity
To what percentage of the other people here today will this person say “yes”?

10. Method - Measures
The Social Relations Model – actor, partner, and relationship effects
Actor effect: Average amount Laura liked her dates
Partner effect: Average amount Laura was liked by her dates
Relationship effects: The amount Laura liked each particular date independently of her actor effect and her date’s partner effect

11. Results - Variance partitioning
Sex
Variable
Actor
Partner
Relationship
Men
Desire
.09
.27
.35
Chemistry
.19
.11
.45
Perceived Desire
.25
.10
.37
Perceived Unselectivity
.53 – e
Women
.16
.31
.13
.21
.26
.07
.42
.34
.02
.64 – e

12. Results – Dyadic Effects
Romantic Desire (BA)
(relationship)
Chemistry (BA)
(relationship)
Perceived Desire (BA)
(relationship)
Romantic Desire (AB)
(relationship) - Men
.14**
.17**
.17*
Romantic Desire (AB)
(relationship) - Women
.14**
.23***
.22**

13. Results – Generalized Effects
Romantic Desire
(Partner)
Chemistry
(Partner)
Perceived Desire
(Partner)
Romantic Desire
(Actor) - Men
-.42†
-.39
-.03
Romantic Desire
(Actor) - Women
Remind them of the platonic finding here
-.42**
-.30†
-.12
Assumed reciprocity (Romantic desire actor with perceived desire actor) r = ~.33
Generalized reciprocity correlation still negative and significant controlling for coder-rated physical attractiveness

14. Mediation – Why don’t you like me?
(Because I’ll say yes to anyone!)
Unselectivity
(Partner)
β = .34***
β = -.16*
#s are slightly different because I’m not correcting for attenuation here
β = -.30***
Desire (Actor)
Desire (Partner)
β’ = -.25**
Sobel z = 1.85, p = .065

15. Results – Personality correlates
Measure
♂ Desire
(actor)
(partner)
♀ Desire
“I sometimes feel as though I would date anyone who is interested in me”
.23*
-.20†
.17
-.30*

16. Mediation – Why do I like you?
(Because I’m desperate!)
Desire (Actor)
β = .19*
β = -.26***
Self-report
Desperation
β = -.24*
Desire (Partner)
β’ = -.19*
Sobel z = 1.99, p = .047

17. Results – Personality correlates
Measure
♂ Desire
(actor)
(partner)
♀ Desire
“I sometimes feel as though I would date anyone who is interested in me”
.23*
-.20†
.17
-.30*
Time since last romantic physical contact
.20†
-.45**
-.22†
-.27*
# sex partners in past year
-.07
.32**
-.04
.19
# romantic physical contact partners in past year
-.16
.48**
.01
.12

18. Results – Personality correlates
Measure
♂ Desire
(actor)
(partner)
♀ Desire
“I expect that I will be interested in going on a date with _____% of the people I meet speed-dating”
.25*
-.24*
.27*
-.26*
“I expect that _____% of the people I meet speed-dating will be interested in going on a date with me.”
.15
-.03
-.10
.16
“Members of the opposite sex that I like tend to like me back”
.05
.26*
-.11
.38**
Extraversion
.33**
-.09
.12
Conscientiousness
.14
-.02
-.22†

19. A procedural bias?
At least 3 separate teams of speed-dating researchers have reported a large sex difference (in the male direction) in “yessing”
But men are always the ones rotating, even at professional speed-dating events
Could there be something empowering about rotating that results in a higher yessing rate?
At 4 of our events, men rotated, and at 3 of the events, women rotated

20. Rotation interactions

21. Discussion
Found a positive dyadic reciprocity correlation (if I uniquely like you, you tend to uniquely like me back)
Found a negative generalized reciprocity correlation for both men and women
Appears to be related to desperation / unselectivity
Romantic liking appears to come in one of two “flavors”
The flavor can be determined in only 4 minutes!

22. Thank you Candida Abrahamson David Kenny Wendi Gardner Dan Ariely
Daniel Mochon
Jacob Matthews
George Loewenstein
The Northwestern Class Alliance
The University Research Grants Committee
Layla Bermeo
Debra Blade
Christine Brooks
Bonnie Buik
Madelaine Eulich
Megan Graney
Jeff Jablons
Kristin Jones
Julie Keller
Jennifer Leyton
Kaidi Liu
Mallory Martino
Ashley Mason
Jesse Matthews
Abby Mitchell
Jennifer Rosner
Seema Saigal
Sarah Scarbeck
David Sternberg
Laura Thompson
Ashley Treadway
Stephanie Yang