1. Using the 3-5-7 Model in FGC
Darla L. Henry
Stephanie Hodge Wolfe
Introduction of presenters
Introduction of audience—coordinators, facilitators, child welfare agency staff (direct), administrators

2. Learning Objectives Interpret how grief and loss impact
the success of a FGC
Explain how the Model can support the preparation of FGC participants,
including children
Describe how the Model can enhance engagement of FGC participants

3. Family Engagement Practices Embraced
a process that invites family members to make decisions for their children
credentialing program for the skills needed to provide strength-based family support to families
a set of strategies used to connect children with relatives who can give them a sense of connectedness and permanency
Family Group Decision Making
Family Development Credentialing
Family Finding
These are just a few practices that have gained much attention in PA over the last several years.

4. To truly engage families we need to understand where they have been, where they are, and where they are going
Read Slide

5. Separation and loss are common themes
The FGC process is often emotionally intense and anxiety-ridden
Separation and loss are common themes
Schmid, Harris, Hassabu, and Barnwell (2007)
FGC brings people together in a way that is different from their typical interactions to generate an immeadiate resolution to a crisis
It is an emotionally charged process involving often intense emotions.
Intense emotions are often an indicator of investment on some level

6. Why pay attention to loss?
Issues of grief and loss can have a substantial impact on the process
If losses are acknowledged and recognized, the trust, security, and openness needed for a successful conference will be more readily achieved
Although there has been a great deal of direction provided to those coordinating and facilitating family group conferences, little has been offered to help those workers understand the underlying issues of grief and loss that family members to include children and youth are often dealing with. They are often experiencing losses such as the loss of control, the loss of dignity, the loss of security, the loss of identity, and the loss of belongingness in family. These issues of grief and loss can have a substantial impact on the process. It is important to understand that that these losses are ever present. This understanding will assist coordinators and facilitators in the FGC preparation process.
We all know that preparation for participants in a family group conference is critical to having a constructive conference. Participants who understand and are prepared for the conference will be better prepared and more confident in their role in both the conference process as well as in their family plan. Good preparation for participants allows them to better manage painful issues and disagreements with other family members. By providing a framework for understanding the Model within the context of the Family Group Decision Making process, clarity will be provided for the importance of helping FGC participants, including the child, recognize and grieve losses, so that the trust, security and openness needed for a successful conference will be more readily achieved.

7. Grief and Loss in FGC
Using Family Group Conferencing in the Context of Death and Dying (Schmid, Harris, Hassabu, and Barnwell, 2007)
Issue was not previously addressed in conferencing or bereavement literature
But we know, loss is about more than death…
Where are we starting from?
Schmid, Harris, Hassabu, and Barnwell (2007) wrote about the use of FGC in the context of death and dying, but prior to that work the issue had not been addressed in literature.

8. Impact of Child Placement on Parents
Pervasive and painful feelings of loss
Threats to:
Self-Esteem
Parental and Family Identity
Sense of Belonging/togetherness
Security
Lacking of a sense of purpose
Criticism and Blame
Field Guide to Child Welfare: Placement and Permanence,
Child Welfare League of America, 1998
Content from CWLA

9. Impact for other Relatives
Helplessness/frustration/confusion
Concern (fear) for both the child and the parent
Embarrassment/Shame/Guilt
Anger/Resentment
Realignment of Relationships
Concern for both parent and child
Seeing a family member struggle in their parenting role can be difficult. There are often conflicting loyalties to the parent and to the child or children involved (i.e. desire to support the parent while maintaining the child needs in the forefront)
Anger/Resentment—Toward parent and/or child welfare system
Many kinship caregivers noted that birth parents are happy to have their freedom back and to pass along the responsibilities of parenthood. This is particularly true of substance-abusing parents who can continue their addiction without being concerned with how it affects their children (
Family members may feel ambivalence about the capacity of the child’s parent to accomplish goals. There may also be a feeling that the child welfare agency can’t (or won’t) help.
Lack of trust between family member and parent and between family member and agency
Realignment of Relationships—Grandparent to Parent, Aunt/Uncle to Parent, Sibling to Parent
When family members become caregivers to the child, the relationships in the family may change. The person who was grandma may now be carrying out the day to day parenting duties. It may take time for those involved to accept and adjust to these new roles
Many kinship caregivers experience a limited social life, infringement of privacy, and sleep deprivation as a result of providing care. Caregivers typically experience chronic emotional and physical fatigue; family and marital conflicts; social isolation, including loss of friends, recreational opportunities, privacy, and hobbies; and feelings of anger, guilt, grief, resentment, hopelessness, and anxiety. Dwindling finances can lead to despair. Kinship caregivers are at high risk for work absenteeism and poor health because of the intense level of stress they endure.

10. Themes of Loss (for Families with Child Welfare System Involvement)
Loss of control
Loss of dignity
Loss of security
Loss of identity
Loss of belongingness in family
As we have just described, issues of grief and loss are ever present in the work that we do. In summary, family members are dealing with many complex and integrated themes of loss, including the loss of control, the loss of dignity, the loss of security, the loss of identity, and the loss of belongingness in a family.
Go to next slide

11. Important to understand these issues as you prepare family for FGC
GRIEF
Important to understand these issues as you prepare family for FGC
The Model can help coordinators prepare participants who are experiencing losses
Read Slide

12. 3-5-7 MODEL BEST PRACTICE GUIDE that FRAMES WORK of:
RECONCILING LOSSES
REBUILDING RELATIONSHIPS through PAST & CURRENT ATTACHMENTS
ENCOURAGING PERMANENCY through:
CLAIMING ACTIVITIES by FAMILIES
GRIEF WORK of both children and families as they move towards feelings of BELONGINGNESS
PROVIDES a COMMON LANGUAGE for the WORK of GRIEF and RELATIONSHIP BUILDING

13. CORE WORK LOSS SAFETY ATTACHMENTS/RELATIONSHIPS
Repeated, profound losses
SAFETY
Grieving occurs through relationships of perceptual safety
ATTACHMENTS/RELATIONSHIPS
Who will help me with the pain of loss?
Who will I belong to in a secure relationship?

14. OUTCOMES ENCOURAGE EXPRESSION of FEELINGS
EMBRACE PAST LIFE EVENTS, RELATIONSHIPS, CULTURE
CLARIFY CONFUSIONS, QUESTIONS
ESTABLISH SUPPORTIVE CONNECTIONS
VISUALIZE POSITIVE FUTURE

15. ENCOURAGE EXPRESSION of FEELINGS
The voicing of feelings and emotions supports the healing process
Explore topics of interest to them-
Start where child/youth/family is
Empowerment results from feelings
being honored
Strengths are recognized

16. EXPLORE the PAST
Claiming history encourages identity development by filling holes of lost self
Recognizes all events in one’s life
Honors heritage/culture/ethnicity
Encourages making connections and the building of relationships through repeating the attachment process

17. CLARIFY CONFUSIONS & QUESTIONS
Limited understanding of life events
Information is incomplete, missing, unknown
Model:
provides opportunity for truthful information; thereby opening activities to improve self esteem
Increases capacity to reconcile previous relationships and form new relationships

18. ESTABLISH SUPPORTIVE CONNECTIONS
Have lost many relationships in lives
Surfaces issues that have stood in way of building relationships
Identifies people who were part of their past to re-establish possible connections
Builds web of supportive connections
Builds relationships through cycling of attachment process

19. VISUALIZE POSITIVE FUTURE
Past relationships are woven
into current relationships
Meaning is given to lost relationships
so family can move on
Trust develops in safe/secure
environment; beginning of journey to belonging
Achieves support for goals of reunification, adoption, kinship care, legal custodianship
Future is “visible”

20. MODEL 3-5-7 CIA 3 5 7 TASKS: Clarification Integration Actualization
CONCEPTUAL QUESTIONS:
Who am I? What Happened to me? Where am I going?
How will get there? When will I know I belong?
SKILL ELEMENTS:
Engagement Listening Truthfulness
Validation Creating safety
Bringing the past forward Pain work is the process 5 7

21. TASKS of WORK 3 CIA CLARIFICATION:
reasons family/child are provided services
life events of child and family
INTEGRATION:
Identify all family relationships
Recognize families memberships and loyalties
ACTUALIZATION:
visualize permanent relationships,
Belongingness/security with one family

22. Conceptual Questions 5 Who Am I?………………………Identity
What Happened To Me?………Loss
Where Am I Going?……………Attachment
How Will I Get There?………….Relationships
When Will I Know I belong?... Claiming/Safety

23. Proprietary: 3-5-7 Model LLC
7 Critical Elements
ENGAGING the child/youth…
LISTENING to the child/youth’s words…
BEING BRIEF, when you speak …
AFFIRMING the child/youth
and their STORY …
Creating a SAFE SPACE for the work…
BRING ING the PAST into the PRESENT…
RECOGNIZING that PAINFUL FEELINGS are REFLECTED in BEHAVIORS
Proprietary: Model LLC

24. CLARIFICATION WORK: Answering questions 1 & 2 and using the 7 skillsTo
GRIEVE LOSSES
ESTABLISH/AFFIRM IDENTITY
EXPLORE FEELINGS
TOOLS
LIFE BOOK
LOSS/LIFE LINE
LOSS HISTORY CHART

26. CHILD/FAMILY LOSS/LIFE LINE

27. INTEGRATION work: Answering questions 1-4 and using the 7 skillsTo
RECOGNIZE & IDENTIFY FAMILY ATTACHMENTS AND MEMBERSHIPS
EXPLORE LOYALTY AND STRENGTHS WITHIN FAMILY
Tools
LIFE BOOK (CON’T)
COLLAGES
PUZZLES

28. ATTACHMENT CYCLE Vera Fahlberg
Physical or
Psychological
Need
SECURITY
TRUST
ATTACHMENT
Behavior stops
or changes
Behavioral
Response
CONTINUITY
STABILITY
MUTUALITY
Hess
Satisfaction Of
Need

29. ACTUALIZATION work: answering all questions and using all skillsTo
VISUALIZE BELONGINGNESS within “FAMILY”; SAFETY and CLAIMING
RECONCILIATION/
ACCEPTANCE of PAST EVENTS; CRISIS WORK
FOCUS ON FUTURE
TOOLS
LIFE BOOK (CON’T)
REMEMBERED PEOPLE CHART
FAMILY ACTIVITIES

31. Be Loved, Cared for, Valued, Important
Longing For:
Be Loved, Cared for, Valued, Important

32. 3-5-7 in FGC Clarification (preparing for the meeting)
Integration (joining of strengths)
Actualization (the plan is developed and implemented)
The Model provides a useful framework to explain what happens during a FGC process. In the FGC process, it is critical to provide support for the tasks of clarification (preparing for the meeting process), integration (joining of strengths to resolve concerns), and actualization (the culmination of the process, whereby the plan is developed and implemented). The Model frames the preparation and engagement of FGC participants, including children, in the context of grief and loss.

33. 3-5-7 in FGC……The Five Questions
Who am I?
Unite participants as people who love and care for the child-give back family identity
What happened to me?
Sharing of information
Where am I going?
Purpose of the conference
How will I get there?
By using the family’s strengths
When will I know I belong?
The Family Plan

34. FGC can be therapeutic, but remember…
…the primary purpose of the FGC is to address a planning question
Schmid, Harris, Hassabu, and Barnwell (2007)

35. Schmid, Harris, Hassabu, and Barnwell (2007)
Coordinator’s Role
Allow expression and exploration of feelings of shame, stigma, anger, blame
Keep focus on planning
Examine feelings about loss only to the extent it impacts the conference
Prepare participants for expressions of grief
“acting out”, depression
Explore whether intense emotions are impacting attendance
Schmid, Harris, Hassabu, and Barnwell (2007)
In Using FGC in the Context of Death and Dying, Schmid, Harris, Hassabu, and Barnwell (2007) wrote about the impact of grief and loss on the conferencing process. These authors provide some useful guidelines in terms of the coordinator’s role in the process.
Keep behaviors of parents and/or family members in the context of grief. (Give some examples).

36. Closing thoughts
Recognize the losses
Maintain the focus

37. References
Henry, D. L. (2005) Model: Preparing children for permanency. Children and Youth Services Review, 27,
Rycus, J. & Hughes, R. (1998). Field Guide to Child Welfare: Placement and Permanence, CWLA Press: Washington D.C.
Schmid, J., Harris, C., Hassabu, I., & Barnwell, L. (2007). Using family group conferencing in the context of death and dying. Protecting Children, 22,

38. For more information Darla L. Henry Stephanie Hodge Wolfe
Stephanie Hodge Wolfe