1. Dealing with Difficult People
Practical Strategies for Minimizing Their Disruptive Influence On Your Life
Presented By:
Shannon Odom
Principal, Joe M. Gillmore Elementary

2. Dealing with Energy Vampires

3. Objectives..
At the conclusion of this workshop, you should be able to:
Identify the major types of difficult people and recognize the behaviors they exhibit.
Develop a plan that works for you in dealing with difficult people.

4. Why worry about difficult people?
These people are EVERYWHERE! You cannot avoid them entirely.
Unfortunately, they often hold positions of power.
Give them a chance and they will make your life miserable.
You can’t change them, but you can change the way you react to them.

5. What sorts of behaviors are exhibited by difficult people?
They are insensitive and demanding.
They are aggressive and hostile.
They are vulgar and insulting.
They are hateful, arrogant and demeaning.
They are rude and uncivilized.
They are either unresponsive or irresponsible.
They are dishonest and conniving.
They are uncooperative.
They are sensitive, suspicious and intent on placing blame.
They are stupid and ignorant and blissfully unaware of it.

6. How do THEY make us feel? Angry Resentful Helpless Hopeless Worthless
Frightened
Intimidated
Annoyed
Revengeful
Overwhelmed
Angry
Resentful
Helpless
Hopeless
Worthless
Frightened
Intimidated
Annoyed
Revengeful
Overwhelmed
Hostile
Inferior
Threatened
Hurt
Insulted
Frustrated
Used
Hateful
Etc.
Hostile
Inferior
Threatened
Hurt
Insulted
Frustrated
Used
Hateful
Etc.

7. How do these feelings make us behave?
Withdraw
Nag
Argue
Give Up
Explain
Try Harder
Plot Revenge

8. Why do they behave this way?
The payoff!

9. The Bulldozer They are the bully of the group. They know it all.
Often use threats, sarcasm and intimidation.
They can be loud or hostile.
They can be abusive.
They have the potential to overwhelm you.

10. Fire Hose Dampen Enthusiasm Everything will fail Negative Statements
Constantly Complaining

11. Sniper Excludes key people Withhold information
Use hidden attacks, innuendos, digs, non-playful teasing
Wreck havoc and you don’t see them

12. So What Can I Do? Avoid them Label them Persuade them Neutralize them
Confront them
Rehabilitate them
Discourage them
Isolate them
Punish them
Pray for them
Label them
Neutralize them
Understand them
Accept them
Inform them
Involve them
Ignore them
Convert them

13. Neutralize them… Why should I?
Removes incendiary behavior from an emotionally flammable environment
Reduces their payoff
Reduces the disruption in your world
Minimizes your stress
How can I?
Take notes
Avoid eye contact
Comment on their
emotional arousal
Ask them what constructive things they have tried
Ask them what they want you to do
Warn them, then hang up or leave

14. Label them… Why should I? Helps you cope
Helps you realize they need to be managed
Lowers your expectations
Reminds you to detach
How can I?
Monitor your emotions
Imagine a sticky note labeled, “A Real Nut” attached to their foreheads
Pity them
Concentrate on observing them

15. Confront them… Why should I? Disrupts usual response patterns
Provides relief from helplessness
Encourages others to take action
How can I?
Document their behavior
Line up witnesses
Give emotions time to dissipate
Confront in a calm manner with respect

16. What can I do for me? Choose to Eliminate Negative People
Become the Observer
Exercise
Worst Case Scenario
Avoid Heated Discussions
Most Important
Pour Honey
Express It
OIYLI (Only If You Let It)