1. DATING RELATIONSHIPS AND RELATIONSHIP VIOLENCE
Ms. Fitchwell
Health Education

2. Dating Relationships
It is Important to remember that the teen years are a time of trying different relationships and roles
Breaking up, making up, and breaking up again can be painful, but it is part of a process of becoming emotionally mature
Honesty and open communication are essential

3. Dating Relationships Going out in Groups Good way to ease into dating
Less responsibility for keeping the conversation going
Less likely to feel self- conscious
Being less nervous allows you to have a better time and be yourself more easily
Some teens choose not to date at all due to other interests, commitments, or not emotionally ready

4. Teens talk about LOVE:
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5. Relationships Peer Pressure
PEER PRESSURE: the control and influence people your own age may have over you
MANIPULATION: a sneaky and dishonest way to control or influence others
A person who manipulates others does so to get what he/ she wants without respect for the well- being of the other person
Types of Manipulation include
Mocking or teasing
Bargaining
Bribing
Making threats
Using blackmail
Using guilt trips

6. Responding to Negative Peer Pressure
Be Assertive!
THE PASSIVE WAY: giving up, giving in, or backing down without standing up for your own rights
May lead to Bullying
Questions to Consider:
How is Bullying a form of Peer Pressure?
How do bullies try to manipulate other people?
What are some healthy ways to deal with bullies?

7. Dealing with Bullying Bullying IS a BIG Deal
BULLYING: when a person is picked on over and over again by an individual or group with more power
Could be physical strength or social standing
What are the two main reasons people are bullied?
Appearance:
Clothes they wear, haircut, etc.
Social Status:
The way someone acts, race, religion, sexuality
know-about-bullying

8. Dealing with Bullying Bullies Attack Physically
Shoving, tripping, punching, etc.
Bullies Attack Psychologically
Verbal insults, labeling, name calling, etc
Cyber bullying
Cyber Bullying Missouri
One of the MOST painful aspects of Bullying is its RELENTLESSNESS
Studies show that people who are abused by their peers are at risk for mental health problems
Depression
Anxiety
People who are bullied may also develop physical illness
Stomach pains, extreme stress levels, etc.

9. Bullying Bullies are at risk for developing problems as well
Often leads to more violent behavior as the bully grows up
As many as 25% of elementary school bullies have a criminal record by the time they are 30 years old
May end up being rejected by their peers
Do not do as well in school
Often do not have the career or relationship success that other people enjoy

10. Who Bullies? Both boys and girls can be bullies
May be outgoing and aggressive
May try to manipulate in subtle, deceptive ways
Like to dominate others
Have often been bullied in the past themselves
Often have poor social skills and poor social judgment
People who are insecure with themselves
Put others down to make themselves feel more interesting or powerful
Some have personality disorders

11. What Can You Do About Bullying?
Ignore (can be harder than loosing your temper)-bullies thrive off of attention
Do not show emotions, anger is the response they are looking for.
When to tell an adult
Younger kids should ALWAYS tell an adult
Teens should tell an adult if there have been threats of physical danger or harm
Many teens have died when threats, and attacks were unreported and the silence gave the bully an “ok” to become more and more violent

12. What Can You Do About Bullying?
Don’t Get Physical
Do NOT use physical force
You cannot be sure how the bully will respond
Talk About It
Guidance Counselor, Teacher, or Friend
Good outlet for fears and frustrations
Find Your True Friends
Find one or two good friends you can confide in that the bully has hurt your feelings
Tell those friends about the truth of the rumors the bully may be starting about you

13. Where Violence Occurs Violence can occur in any relationship
Family Violence
Spousal Abuse- abuse of wife/husband
Child Abuse- abuse of child
Neglect- failure to provide for a child’s physical/emotional needs
Dating Violence
Rape- any forced sexual activity that is unwanted
Date Abuse- mental, emotional, physical abuse of a BF/GF
Community Violence
Personal Assault- unlawful attack with the intent to harm
Homicide- willful killing of another person
Gang Related

14. What is abuse? Physical- harm to the body
Punching, Kicking, Pushing, Biting, Shaking, Use of Weapons
Emotional- attacking a person’s sense of worth
Putdowns, Shouting/Screaming, Name calling, and Threats of other violence
Sexual- sexual contact against persons will
Touching, Gestures, Speaking, Intercourse

15. Bell Ringer Feb. 11th
Define the term manipulation. How do bullies use manipulation to bully others? (provide at least 3 forms of manipulation)
What are the 2 main reasons people are bullied?
List 3 benefits of going out in groups.

16. Signs of Abuse ANY physical harm Controlling Humiliation Threats
Dress, Friends, What you say
Humiliation
Puts you down, then tells you “I love you”
Threats
Especially if you want to leave relationship
Twists the truth
Wants you to feel at fault
Keeps track of you
Jealousy/Anger when you are around others

17. Cycle of Abuse
Honeymoon Phase

18. 1. Honeymoon Stage- Both people are happy in relationship
CYCLE OF ABUSE
1. Honeymoon Stage- Both people are happy in relationship
2. Tension Phase- Tension build between people, abusive person gets frustrated with other.
3. Abuse Stage- Shortest stage / Most harmful
This stage is based on one specific incident that leads to an explosion of anger.
4. Apologies/Excuse Stage-Abuser calms and tries to make up for abuse by returning to honeymoon phase

19. How YOU can Avoid Violence
Recognize
Become aware of the acts that are abusive
The Best way to protect yourself is to become aware.
Resist
If anyone tries to abuse you, be assertive and stand up for yourself.
Report
If treated in an abusive manner, get away and tell someone ASAP.
Report abuse of others.

20. Breaking the Cycle The Cycle of Violence
You can help break the cycle of abuse. If you or someone you know is being abused…
Tell a trusted adult. Ask them for help to resolve the problem.
Contact an abuse hot line or crisis center that can help.
Report the abuse to the police.
The Cycle of Violence

21. Community Support Who can you turn to for help?
Parents, Teachers, Trusted Adult
Student Assistance Team at BVA
Crisis Centers/Hotlines
Local Law Enforcement
Family Counseling
Support Groups- groups of individuals with similar
problems

22. Discussion Questions:
What are some reasons why people would not report the abuse that they are receiving?
Low self-esteem: doubt self and think you’re the one who is overreacting
FEAR: fear retaliation , assume their name will not remain anonymous
Embarrassment: Worried that others will judge them
Some people assume that it is not their business to report abuse
LOVE: Hope that the abuser will change, do not want to make abuser angry
Are the reasons different for the following relationships: Family, Dating, Community?

23. Bell Ringer Feb. 12th
1.Provide 5 resources that you could go to report an abusive relationship.
2. Draw and label the cycle of violence.
Trusted Adult
SAP Team
Police
Family Counseling
Support Groups

24. Dating Violence Dating violence
Abuse in dating relationships which can be physical, emotional or sexual
Gateway Cheerleader
Mt. Lebanon
Problem: Teens often see abuse or dominant treatment as a sign of love and emotion.
Solution: Recognize that no one deserves to be abused or controlled.

25. Warm-Up Feb. 13th
1. List 3 signs that a relationship may be turning towards abuse.
2. How can you avoid violence?

26. Signs Indicating Unhealthy Dating Relationships
These signs may indicate that an unhealthy relationship is moving toward abuse:
Expression of Jealousy
Attempts to control a partner’s behaviors
Cell phones, keeping tabs on what you do
Use of insults or put-downs to manipulate a partner
Use of guilt to manipulate a partner
Remember, healthy relationships involves kindness, caring and respect, not control and abuse.

27. Date Rape vs. Acquaintance Rape
1 person in a dating relationship forces the other to participate in a sexual act
Acquaintance Rape
Someone known casually or considered a friend forces a person to perform a sexual act
ALARMING STATISTICS
Over 80% of rape victims know their attackers.
One of the most common types of acquaintance rape is date rape. If you are a female between the ages of 16-24, you run the greatest risk of being raped by a date.
The use of alcohol or drugs also increases your risk. In one study, 74% of the men and 55% of the women had been drinking or using drugs prior to the sexual assault.

28. Stages of Date Rape Date Rape typically occurs in 3 stages:
Stage 1 - The aggressor (usually the male) enters the other person's "personal space" (kissing, hand on thigh, etc.).
Stage 2 - The partner (usually the female) does not assertively stop the behavior, and the aggressor thinks it is okay.
Stage 3 - The aggressor gets the couple to a secluded place where the rape occurs.

29. Drugs and Rape
Alcohol is involved in as many as 2/3 of all date rape cases in college students.
In recent years, drugs are becoming more common.
GHB and Rohypnol= Date Rape Drugs
Cause blackouts and loss of memory
Slipped into food and drink

30. Effects of Rape Physically Socially Mental/Emotional STI’s HIV/AIDS
Scars, Cuts, Bruises from force
Mental/Emotional
Feelings of hopelessness
Stress and anxiety
Feeling of unclean
Socially
Become more introverted
Less likely to trust others
May be seen as “less than whole” by others

31. Dating Violence Statistics
1 in 11 adolescents reports being a victim of physical dating violence CDC 2006.
1 in 4 adolescents reports verbal, physical, emotional, or sexual violence each year (Foshee et al. 1996; Avery-Leaf et al. 1997).
1 in 5 adolescents reports being a victim of emotional violence (Halpern et al. 2001).
1 in 5 high school girls has been physically or sexually abused by a dating partner (Silverman et al. 2001).
72% of eighth and ninth graders reportedly "date" (Foshee et al ); by the time they are in high school, 54% of students report dating violence among their peers (Jafe et al. 1992).

32. NEED MORE???Dating Violence Statistics
70% of girls and 52% of boys who are abused report an injury from a violent relationship. (Foshee 1996).
8% of boys and 9% of girls have been to an emergency room for an injury received from a dating partner (Foshee 1996).
Victims of dating violence are not only at increased risk for injury, they are also more likely to engage in binge drinking, suicide attempts, physical fights, and currently sexual activity CDC 2006.
Rates of drug, alcohol, and tobacco use are more than twice as high in girls who report physical or sexual dating violence than in girls who report no violence (Plichta 1996).

33. Dating Precautions Know your date more than casually Similar age dates
Assertively set boundaries
Avoid being alone
Do not use drugs
Watch food and drink. Get them for yourself.

34. Homework Criteria Example: Homework Directions
Pittsburgh Action Against Rape
(Main Number)
1-866-END-RAPE (HOTLINE)
Homework Directions
Use the Yellow Pages and/or Internet to identify 5 community resources for Relationship Violence
Resources must be local (412 or area code)
Identify the following for each resource
Name of Organization
Phone Number
Hotline Number
Website (if applicable)

35. Find Local Help
Directions: Using the following key words and the Yellow pages, look for community help in your area.
Key Words: (Pennsylvania)
Counseling,
Child Abuse,
Crisis Intervention,
Social Workers,
Domestic Abuse,
Human Service Organization,
Social and Human Service Organization

36. Answer Your Questions
Students are told to write down any question they may have concerning dating.
The teacher will read any questions and the class will discuss in a open forum their thoughts and opinions.
The teacher will assist in correcting any incorrect knowledge as the class conversation progresses.

37. Kids Health (Abusive Relationships)
Resources
Kids Health (Abusive Relationships)
Kids Health (Abuse)
T.E.A.R