1. A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Translated into YOUR English
By Mrs. Lang

2. Act I, Scene i
Theseus: My darling Hippolyta, these days before our wedding are going by so slowly! I can’t wait to marry you in 4 days.
Hippolyta: Four days will go by very quickly!
Theseus: Go Philostrate – get entertainment for our wedding! (Exit Philostrate) Hippolyta, I am sorry for the way our relationship started, the war and kidnapping and all. I promise that from now on things will be different- full of love and happiness.

3. Act I, Scene i, Line 20 Egeus: Hello Duke Theseus!
Theseus:Hey Egeus, what’s up?
Egeus: I am very mad at my daughter Hermia. Step forward Demetrius! I want her to marry this guy.
Step forward Lysander! And this guy, has stolen my daughter’s heart away by singing love songs and giving her gifts! She will no longer listen to me!
I ask, Duke, that by the ancient law of Athens, if she does not marry Demetrius, that I may kill my daughter, Hermia.
Theseus:What do you say, Hermia? You know you should listen to your father! He brought you into this world, and he can take you out! Demetrius is a good guy.
Hermia: So is Lysander.

4. Act I, Scene i, Line 20
Theseus: But he doesn’t have your dad’s approval. Demetrius does.
Hermia: I wish my dad saw Lysander the way I do!
Theseus: Nope. You should know that your dad knows best.
Hermia: I’m begging you, Duke. I know I don’t have the right to speak to you like this, but please tell me what will happen to me if I don’t marry Demetrius!
Theseus: You must either die or become a nun.
Hermia: I’d rather do either of those than marry Demetrius.
Theseus: Take time to think about it. Decide by my wedding day.

5. Act I, Scene i, Line 20
Demetrius: Come on Hermia, change your mind. And Lysander, give her up, she’s mine!
Lysander: Her father loves you, Demetrius, isn’t that enough? Why don’t you marry him!
Egeus: Annoying boy! It’s true I love him, so I will give him what is mine. And Hermia is mine!
Lysander: I am just as wealthy, just as well connected, just as noble as he is! And more importantly, I love Hermia and she loves me! Why shouldn’t I marry her? Demetrius swore he would marry the lady Helena, and then he dumped her. And she still loves this player!
Theseus: I hear about that and was planning to mention it to Demetrius. Hermia, prepare to make your decision. Hippolyta? What’s wrong? Oh fine. Demetrius and Egeus, come into my office.
Egeus: Okay boss.

6. Act I, Scene i, Line 128
Lysander : What’s wrong, baby? Why do you look so pale?
Hermia : I feel like crying. I am so miserable.
Lysander : No worries! In every story I’ve ever read, true love is never easy. There are always roadblocks. Like, maybe a girl falls in love with a guy who is in a completely different social group.
Hermia : Like someone cool and someone not cool?!
Lysander : Or there’s a big age difference…
Hermia : Like someone in college and someone in high school?!
Lysander : Or their love was chosen by someone else..
Hermia : Like their parents set them up?!

7. Act I, Scene i, Line 141
Lysander : Or else some other problem gets in the way. Seems like it only lasts a minute and then there is some problem. True love is always like that.
Hermia : Well, if that’s true, then it’s fate that we should run into problems. Let’s try to be patient. I feel better now.
Lysander : Okay, good, ‘cause I have a plan. I have a rich aunt whose house is far away from Athens so this silly law can’t touch us. I would like to marry you there. Meet me in the garden where you used to hang out with Helena tomorrow night.
Hermia : My darling, I swear on cupid, and Venus, and all the promises that boys have ever broken (‘cause you know that’s a lot!), I will be there.
Lysander : Awesome! Here comes Helena!

8. Act I, Scene i, Line 180 Hermia : Pretty Helena! Where are you going?
Helena : Don’t call me pretty! Demetrius loves YOUR prettiness. I wish prettiness was contagious like a sickness, then I could turn into you and Demetrius would love me. Teach me what you do to make him love you!
Hermia : I hate him and he still loves me!
Helena : I love him and he still hates me!
Hermia : It’s his mistake, not my fault!
Helena : It’s your beauty’s fault. I wish I looked like you!

9. Act I, Scene i, Line 202
Hermia : Then be happy, because he isn’t going to see me anymore. Lysander and I are eloping!
Lysander : Helena, we’ll tell you our secret. We’re running away tomorrow night.
Hermia : We’re meeting in the woods where you and I used to play when we were little. Wish us luck, and good luck with Demetrius. See you tomorrow night Lysander! (Exit Hermia)
Lysander : Bye Helena, Good luck with Demetrius! (Exit Lysander)

10. Act I, Scene i, Line 226 Helena’s Soliloquy :
Everyone in Athens says I’m just as pretty as Hermia. But who cares, Demetrius doesn’t think so. He loves Hermia.
And yet I love him. I guess when you’re in love, you don’t think, you just see and feel.
Before he fell for Hermia, Demetrius swore he would always be mine! And then as soon as he saw her, it was all over.
I have an idea! I’ll tell him about Hermia eloping! He will be grateful to me for telling him and maybe he’ll come back to me when she’s gone.

11. What are Mechanicals? Nick Bottom is a weaver. A weaver makes cloth
Francis Flute is a bellows-mender. A bellows-mender repairs the bellows used to increase the flow of air to a fire.
Robin Starveling is a tailor. A tailor makes clothes.
Tom Snout is a tinker. A tinker mends metal household items such as pots and pans.
Peter Quince is a carpenter. A carpenter makes the structure of a building or item.
Snug is a joiner. A joiner is a skilled carpenter. the joiner makes the fittings to go inside the buildings or items, such as stairs and cupboards which involve 'joints' of wood.

12. Act I, Scene ii
Quince : Is everybody who wants to be in the play here?
Bottom : You should take attendance one by one, you know.
Quince : Here’s the list of all the people who signed up for the play to perform for Duke Theseus and his wife.
Bottom : You should say what the play is about first, you know. Then read the actors. Get to the point!
Quince : The play is called “The Saddest Comedy and Cruel Death of Pyramus and Thisbe”
Bottom : That’s a great play, everyone! And hilarious! Now, read the actors. Get ready everyone!
Quince : Bottom, you are cast as Pyramus
Bottom : What is he, a lover or the bad guy?
Quince : A lover that bravely kills himself for love!
Bottom : That’s an emotional part! I’ll make the whole audience weep, I’ll be so awesome at it! I’ll tear their hearts open, I’ll…but I’m really much better at playing bad guys.

13. Act I, Scene ii, Line 32
Bottom : Wow, that was awesome. I’m really good. Now, what about the rest of the cast….but you know, I’ll have to be gentler acting as a lover.
Quince : Francis Flute, you are cast as Thisbe.
Flute : What is Thisbe, a Knight?
Quince : Nope, the lady who Pyramus loves.
Flute : No way! I can’t play a girl! I’m trying to grow a beard!
Quince :Doesn’t matter, we’ll give you a mask and you can use a girl’s voice.
Bottom : I can totally play Thisbe too! I can speak in a really high voice like this – “Ah Pyramus my love”. I would be awesome at it!
Quince :No, You play Pyramus.
Bottom : Okay, Okay. Who is next?

14. Act I, Scene ii, Line 47
Quince :Robin Starveling, you’ll be Thisbe’s mother, Tom Snout, you Pyramus’ father. I’ll be Thisbe’s father, Snug, you’ll be the lion. Now I hope that’s a good cast!
Snug : Do you have the lion’s lines written out? It takes me a really long time to learn my lines!
Quince :No lines – Just roaring!
Bottom : I can totally play the lion too! I would be awesome at it! I will roar so awesomely that the Duke will want me to roar again and again! ROAR!
Quince : No way, you’ll scare all the women!
Bottom : Okay, Okay…I’ll roar gently. I am the best at roaring gently! Roar.
Quince : No!! You are Pyramus. That’s all! Everyone learn your lines and meet in the woods to practice so will not be overheard.
Bottom : Be perfect like me!

15. Act II

16. Act II, Scene i Puck :Hey, where ya going?
Fairy :All over the place to run silly errands for the fairy Queen. She’ll be here soon.
Puck : Oh no! The King is partying here tonight! Don’t let the Queen anywhere near him. He is really mad at her!
She has adopted a little boy and Oberon wants him as his servant. She refuses to give the boy up and treats him like a prince. Oberon is jealous and angry and they have been avoiding each other.
Fairy : Wait a second! I know you! You’re that horrible guy who causes trouble everywhere he goes!
Puck : Yup, you got me, I am that hilarious trickster! I tell jokes and play pranks on people to keep the king, and myself, entertained. Oops – here comes Oberon!
Fairy : And Titania! This will be trouble!

17. Act II, Scene i, Line 60 Oberon:Oh no. Not you!
Titania: Oh, jealous Oberon’s here? Let’s get out of here. I want nothing to do with him.
Oberon:Hold on a sec, troublesome little lady. Aren’t I your husband?
Titania:Then I must be your wife. But you certainly haven’t been acting like it. Weren’t you flirting with Phillida? And why are you here in Athens? Is it because your little hussy Hippolyta is getting married?
Oberon:How dare you accuse me of such things! Especially when I know you’re infatuated with Theseus! Haven’t you ruined all his relationships?
Titania:Stop with your jealousy! Ever since we started fighting, we’re causing all sorts of trouble in nature. Nature has turned upside down and it’s all our fault.

18. Act II, Scene i, Line 118
Oberon:Well are you sorry then? Why should you go against me, baby? All I want is that kid to be part of my posse.
Titania: Absolutely not. His mother was my servant and my friend. We used to stay up late at night and gossip! I promised her I would take care of her son and I will not give him up.
Oberon:Fine, how long are you staying here?
Titania:Until after the wedding. If you’ll be nice and forget all this, then party with us. Otherwise, just leave me alone.
Oberon:Give me that boy and I’ll party with you.
Titania:NO WAY! Fairies, Let’s get out of here, or I will kill him. (Exit Titania and Fairies)
Oberon:Fine. But don’t think this is over. I will get even with you.

19. Act II, Scene i, Line 148
Oberon: Puck come here. Do you remember that day at the beach?
Puck : Yup.
Oberon: That day I saw Cupid shoot an arrow. It fell to earth and struck a patch of little white flowers. They turned purple and now they can be used as a love potion. Go get me that flower.
Puck : I’ll hurry. (Exit Puck)
Oberon: When he brings me this love potion, I will put it on Titania’s eyes while she’s sleeping. The next thing she sees when she wakes up, she’ll fall in love with. Hopefully it will be some forest animal, like a bear or a monkey! I will make her give up that boy to me before I give her the cure.
Oh someone is coming! I’ll make myself invisible.

20. Act II, Scene i, Line 188
Demetrius: I don’t love you, so stop following me. Where have Lysander and Hermia gone? One of them I will kill and the other will kill me if she denies her love. You told me that they had come to the woods, so I came here, and now I am mad because I have not found Hermia. Go away and stop following me!
Helena: Stop being so amazing and I’ll stop following you!
Demetrius: Have I called you pretty or even been nice to you? Haven’t I been as clear as possible that I don’t love you?
Helena: And for that I love you more! Treat my like your dog, Demetrius! Beat me and treat me badly, but I’ll still love you. Just allow me to follow you like a dog. It would make me happy, and I don’t think it’s asking too much!
Demetrius: Don’t make me madder than I already am. Looking at you makes me sick!
Helena: NOT looking at you makes me sick!

21. Act II, Scene i, Line 214
Demetrius:Are you putting yourself in danger by coming out into the lonely, deserted woods, in the middle of the night, with some guy who hates you!?
Helena: You are all the protection I need. When I’m with you it feels like the sun is shining and you are my whole world, so how can I be lonely?
Demetrius: I’m going to run away from you and hide in the bushes and leave you to the wild animals!
Helena: You are meaner to me than the wild animals! Fine, run. I will change the way things are in the stories. This time the girl will chase the boy!
Demetrius: Leave me alone! If you follow me, I will do something awful to you!
Helena: You are already doing something awful to me! How can you make me do this? Girls shouldn’t have to fight for love this way! We were made to BE chased. (Exit Demetrius)
I’ll follow you anyway, and if you kill me, at least I dying won’t be so bad because it was my love who did it! (Exit Helena)

22. Act II, Scene i, Line 245
Oberon:Good luck girlie! I promise that before you leave the woods, He will be chasing you!
Did you get the flower, Puck?
Puck : Yup.
Oberon:Give it. I know exactly where Titania sleeps in the woods. I will put this on her eyes. In the meantime, there is an Athenian girl in the woods tonight who is in love with an annoying boy. Put the love potion on his eyes when the next thing he sees will be the girl. You’ll know him by the Athenian clothes he is wearing. Be back before morning!
Puck : You got it boss!

23. Act II, Scene ii
Titania: Come on girls, sing me a lullaby and a dance! Then get to doing your nightly chores. (sleeps)
[Fairies singing]
Oberon: When you wake up, fall in love with the first beast you see! (Exit Oberon)
Lysander: Sweetheart, you seem tired. And to tell you the truth, I’m not sure where we are. Let’s rest here until morning.
Hermia: Okay, I’m gonna sleep on this little bank. Go find yourself a spot, Lysander.
Lysander: How about we share that little bank?
Hermia: I don’t think so!
Lysander: Trust me, girl, I don’t mean any harm! I just love you and want to be near you. Don’t you believe me?
Hermia: Nice line. But it’s not going to happen. I love you though!

24. Act II, Scene ii, Line 68
Lysander: Okay. And I love you and will always be loyal. Good night!
Hermia: You too! (They sleep)
Puck: I’ve been all over this forest and haven’t seen any Athenian. Woa – who’s this? He’s wearing Athenian clothes – this must be the boy. And here’s the girl who is so afraid of him she’s sleeping all the way over here!
When you wake up, fall in love with the first person you see! (Exit Puck)
Helena: Wait Demetrius!
Demetrius: Leave me alone!
Helena: Don’t leave me my love!
Demetrius: Don’t make me hurt you! I’m outa here! (Exit Demetrius)

25. Act II, Scene ii, Line 94
Helena:Whew! I am tired! Wherever Hermia is, she’s the lucky, pretty one. I am as ugly as a bear! Everyone that meets me runs away in fear. Ugh. Oh, who’s this? Lysander? Oh no, is he dead!? Wake up, wake up!
Lysander: Woa! I would do anything for you gorgeous lady! Where is Demetrius? Let me at him!
Helena: Why, ‘cause he loves your Hermia? Be happy that Hermia loves you.
Lysander: Happy with Hermia? No way! I’m sorry for all the time I wasted on her. I was too young to realize what love really is. Now I’m older and wiser and realize that you’re the one I love!

26. Act II, Scene ii, Line 141
Helena: Why are you making fun of me? Stop joking around about this! Since when do you treat people so horribly? Aren’t I upset enough! (Exit Helena)
Lysander: She didn’t see Hermia laying there. Keep sleeping Hermia. I am so sick of you! I’m off to find my Helena! (Exit Lysander)
Hermia: (Waking up from a dream) Help me, Lysander! Oh, I had a bad dream. Where are you Lysander? Gone? How can that be? I better find you! (Exit Hermia)

27. Act III

28. Act III, Scene i Bottom: Everyone here?
Quince: Yup and here’s a good place for us to rehearse, just like a stage.
Bottom: Peter Quince!
Quince: What’s up, Bottom?
Bottom: There are some issues with this play. First, Pyramus is supposed to kill himself with a sword. The ladies won’t be able to handle that!
Snout: Awful!
Starveling: We better not have him kill himself!
Bottom: Nope. I have a plan. Just write me an introduction that tells the audience that the swords are fake, that Pyramus isn’t really dead, and that I’m not really Pyramus at all, but Bottom the Weaver.
Quince: Okay.

29. Act III, Scene i, Line 26
Snout: Won’t the ladies be scared of the lion?
Starveling: I am!
Bottom:Holy cow! Think of what we’re doing! To bring a lion in among ladies is terrifying!
Snout: Let’s have another introduction explain that he’s not a lion!
Bottom: Not just that, you must say he is Snug the Joiner and show is face and have him say he is not a real Lion at all.
Quince: Okay. We have two other problems. Pyramus and Thisbe meet by moonlight, but how will we get moonlight in the castle?
Snout: Will the moon shine the night of the play?
Bottom: Let’s look it up!
Quince: Found it. It does shine that night!

30. Act III, Scene i, Line 53
Bottom: Okay, so we’ll just leave the window open.
Quince: Or, someone can dress up as the Man in the Moon! Also, another problem is that there is supposed to be a wall between Pyramus and Thisbe so they can talk through the hole in the wall. How can we bring a wall into the castle?
Snug: That’s impossible! What do you think, Bottom?
Bottom: Somebody must dress up as the wall. And they can hold their fingers out like this for Pyramus and Thisbe to whisper through.
Quince: Okay, that’s settled. Now let’s rehearse. Pyramus, you start and then go off stage.
Puck: What silly people do we have so near where Titania is sleeping? A play! I’ll listen in…and maybe do some acting myself!

31. Act III, Scene i, Line 53 Quince: Begin, Pyramus. Thisbe, get ready!
Bottom speaks as Pyramus (and gets stuff wrong)
Puck: This guy is a very weird Pyramus!
Flute: Is it my turn now?
Quince: Yup
Flute speaks as Thisbe (in a girl’s voice)
Puck enters with Bottom, who is has turned into a donkey.
Bottom (in a donkey’s voice): “If I were fair, Thisbe, I were only thine”
Quince: AHHHHHHHH!!!! Monsters! Ghosts! What the heck?!?!!!! (Exit all but Bottom and Puck)
Puck: I will lead you all around the woods until you are lost! (Exit Puck)

32. Act III, Scene i, Line 109
Bottom: Why are they running away? Oh, this is some kind of joke to scare me in the woods!
Snout: Bottom, what happened to you? What’s on you?!
Bottom: What is it? An donkey head like yours? (Exit Snout)
Quince: Bottom! You are changed! (Exit Quince)
Bottom: I get their trick. This is to make an ass of me! But I won’t get scared or run away. I’ll sing so they know I’m not afraid! (sings)
Titania: What an angelic voice! Whose singing wakes me?
(Bottom Sings)
Titania: Keep singing! I love the sound of your voice and you’re totally hot! I need to tell you that I love you!

33. Act III, Scene i, Line 139
Bottom: That makes no sense! And yet, love is hardly ever logical nowadays. See, I can be smart sometimes.
Titania: You are as smart as you are beautiful.
Bottom: Not really. But if I was smart enough to find my way out of these woods, that would be enough.
Titania: Leave?? No way! I’m not letting you go. I have powers you can’t imagine, and I love you, therefore, you will come with me. FAIRIES!
Fairies: Ready. Where shall we go?
Titania: Give this gorgeous man anything he wants and treat him like a king!
Fairies: Hail!
Bottom introduces himself to the Fairies and makes silly jokes about their names.
Titania: Make it so he can’t talk and bring my love silently away with us.

34. Act III, Scene ii
Oberon: I wonder if my wifey woke up yet and what she saw first and fell in love with! Hey Puck, what’s going on?
Puck: Titania is in love with a monster! I came upon a group of ridiculously bad actors. I turned the worst of them into a donkey and, as I was leading the rest of them to get lost in the woods, he woke up Titania. Now your wife is in love with a donkey!
Oberon: Awesome! That is exactly what I wanted! How about the Athenian boy?
Puck: I did that too! And the girl was right next to him. (Enter Demetrius and Hermia)
Oberon: Oh here’s the guy!
Puck: This is the girl, but not the same guy. Oops.

35. Act III, Scene ii, Line 43
Demetrius: Why yell at me when you know I love you? Save that for your enemies!
Hermia: It’ll be worse if I find out that you have murdered Lysander! He would never have left me sleeping there alone! No, you must have killed him.
Demetrius: How could you think that of me? It’s like you’re killing me by thinking that!
Hermia: So what? Where is Lysander? Can you find him for me?
Demetrius: I’d rather he be dead!
Hermia: You jerk! You are making me act in a very unladylike way! You had to kill him sleeping right? Because you’re such a coward you wouldn’t dare touch him while he was awake!

36. Act III, Scene ii, Line 74
Demetrius: You’ve got it all wrong! I didn’t kill him!
Hermia: Where is he then?
Demetrius: What would I get for telling you?
Hermia: You would get never to see me again! I hope I never see YOU again!
Demetrius: I can’t follow her when she’s so angry! I’m kinda tired. I’ll nap here. (sleeps)
Oberon: What the heck did you do?! You have totally messed up what I told you to do. AND totally messed up a young couple’s love!
Puck: So it’s fate then, because men often break their promises.
Oberon: Listen you. Find Helena and bring her here. This time I will put the spell on him.
Puck: I’ll go as fast as I can, Sir!!

37. Act III, Scene ii, Line 102
Oberon(casting spell):Fall in love with the first woman you see!
Puck: King of the Fairies, Helena is coming, with Lysander following her. Let’s watch the fun! Boy are these humans stupid for behaving this way!
Oberon: They will wake Demetrius.
Puck: Then two of them will chase the same girl! Ha Ha! I do love it when things are so ridiculous! Ha ha!
Lysander: Why do you think I’m making fun of you? Do people cry when they make fun? Look how I weep for you! Can’t you see my love is true?
Helena: You are a better actor than I thought! And what about Hermia? You promised her all of this. Clearly your promises mean nothing!
Lysander: I was stupid when I promised her!
Helena: And stupid now for giving her up!
Lysander: Demetrius loves her and does not love you!

38. Act III, Scene ii, Line 137
Demetrius: Oh, gorgeous, goddess of a girl! Helena, Your eyes are beautiful, your skin is flawless, Let me kiss this perfect princess!
Helena: Why are you all mocking me!! How can you treat me this way?
Lysander: Don’t make fun of her Demetrius. You love Hermia, we all know that. I give up Hermia to you, let me have Helena.
Demetrius: No thanks, I don’t want Hermia. My love for her is gone. My heart has returned home to Helena forever.
Lysander: He’s lying!
Demetrius: Don’t call me a liar, Dude. Look, here comes YOUR love.
Hermia: It’s so dark here, but I thought I heard Lysander’s voice. Lysander, why did you abandon me in the woods?

39. Act III, Scene ii, Line 184
Lysander: Why should I stay with you when love told me to leave?
Hermia: What love could make you leave me?
Lysander: My love for Helena. Why are you following me? Isn’t it clear that I hate you and that’s why I left you?
Hermia: What? No way!
Helena: What?! You are in on this joke too! How could you Hermia? Knowing how we’ve grown up as best friends? How could you join with these boys to make fun of me? It isn’t fair to me, or to women in general!
Hermia: I have no idea what you’re talking about!
Helena: Didn’t you tell Lysander to pretend to love me? And send Demetrius to call me lovely? You should be pitying me, not mocking me!
Hermia: Huh?
Helena: Oh sure, keep up the joke, laugh at me, make fun. I’m leaving and I don’t care if I die in the woods on the way!

40. Act III, Scene ii, Line 245
Lysander: Don’t go my lovely Helena! You are everything to me!
Helena: Oh great. Keep it up!
Hermia: Don’t make fun of her, my love.
Demetrius: If her begging doesn’t work, I can MAKE you stop.
Lysander: Your threats have no effect on me. Helena, I love you, I swear it!
Demetrius: I love you more!
Lysander: If you dare say that, wanna step outside?
Demetrius: Let’s go!
Hermia: Lysander, what is going on?
Lysander: Get away!

41. Act III, Scene ii, Line 257
Demetrius: What, letting her hold you back ‘cause you’re afraid of me?
Lysander: Get off me!!
Hermia: Since when do you speak to me that way?
Lysander: Love?? Get off me, Go away!
Hermia: Isn’t this a joke?
Helena: Yup, and so do you!
Lysander: Let’s go Demetrius!
Demetrius: Yeah right! You’re letting Hermia hold you back!
Lysander: What do you want me to do? Kill her? Even though I hate her, I won’t do that.
Hermia: Is there anything worse than you hating me? Why do you hate me? Weren’t we in love a little while ago? Is this for real?

42. Act III, Scene ii, Line 278
Lysander: Yes, and I don’t want to see you again. I hate you and love Helena!
Hermia: You hussy! You man thief! Have you stolen my Lysander from me!?
Helena: Don’t you have any class? Why continue with this game? You little trickster!
Hermia: What? Are you calling me short? Are you comparing our height? OH I see how it is! You stole my Lysander away by being tall because I’m short! Well how short am I? I’m still tall enough to scratch your eyes out!
Helena: Ah! Even though you’re making fun of me boys, don’t let her hurt me! I’m not good at fighting! And even though she’s small, she’s vicious!
Hermia: Are you calling me short again?!
Helena: Hermia why are you so mad? All I ever did to you was tell Demetrius about your elopement! And he still didn’t love me. Just let me go back to Athens and leave me alone.

43. Act III, Scene ii, Line 318 Hermia: Okay, what’s stopping you?
Helena: Love.
Hermia: With my Lysander, you hussy?!?!
Helena: No, No! With Demetrius.
Lysander: Don’t worry Helena, I won’t let her hurt you.
Demetrius: No, I won’t let her hurt you!
Helena: When we were in school she was fierce, even though she is little.
Hermia: Little again! Why do you keep calling me short? Lysander, why are you letting her insult me like this? Let me at her!!
Lysander: No, get out of here you teenie, tiny acorn.
Demetrius: Don’t defend Helena! She’s my love!
Lysander: Nobody’s holding me back now, let’s settle this once and for all!
Demetrius:Let’s go.

44. Act III, Scene ii, Line 339
Hermia: This is all your fault, girlie! Don’t escape so quickly.
Helena: I don’t trust you. You want to fight. I want to run! (Exit Helena)
Hermia: I am in complete shock by all of this! (Exit)
Oberon: This is all your fault Puck! Did you do this on purpose?
Puck: No, boss! It was a mistake. They are both wearing Athenian clothes!! But, even though it was a mistake, you must admit it’s pretty funny 
Oberon: Make it dark and cloudy, then mimic Lysander and Demetrius’ voices to lead them away from each other, so they can’t actually fight. Then put them to sleep and put this antidote in Lysander’s eyes. When he wakes up it will all seem like a bad dream. I’ll go to Titania and get the Indian boy from her and cure her from her spell too. Then everything will be peaceful again!
Puck: Night is ending soon, we shouldn’t be out after morning. We better hurry.
Oberon: That doesn’t matter much, but okay let’s hurry.

45. Act III, Scene ii, Line 396
Puck: Okay let me mess them up. Here comes one!
Lysander: Where are you hiding, Demetrius?
Puck: Here, jerk.
Lysander: Here I come!
Puck: Follow me to a clearing! (Exit Lysander)
Demetrius: Coward! Where are you?
Puck: You’re the coward! I’ll teach you a lesson!
Demetrius: Where are you then?
Puck: Follow my voice, we won’t fight here! (Exit Demetrius)
Lysander: I can hear him, but never find him. I’m going to rest, I’m so tired.
Puck: Come on coward!
Demetrius: Where are you? I’m too tired. Let me rest a while. (They sleep)

46. Act III, Scene ii, Line 431
Helena: What an awful night! I better lay down and rest, I’m so miserable.
Puck: Only 3? Where’s the last one?
Hermia: I’ve never been so miserable and tired. I hope Lysander is okay! I’m going to sleep.(They sleep)
Puck: Okay, let me set this right now. Lysander, when you awake be in love with your original lady!

47. Act IV

48. Act IV, Scene i
Titania: Come sit down on this bed. Let me hug you and kiss your lovely ears!
Bottom orders the fairies to scratch his ears and find him food.
Titania: How about some tunes my love?
Bottom: Sure!
Titania: Some food?
Bottom: Weirdly I feel like some hay. But I’m pretty tired, let’s go to sleep.
Titania: Okay, let me put my arms around you. Fairies, leave us alone. My love, I would do anything for you! (sleeps)
Oberon: See this, Puck? I kinda pity her now, for being in love with an Ass. She’s so in love with him, she did give up her little boy to me. Let’s end all this madness. Take the donkey head off of this guy and I will release my lady from this spell. Wake up, wifey!
Titania: My love! What a dream I had! I dreamt I was in love with an Ass.

49. Act IV, Scene i, 78 Oberon: There he is.
Titania: How did this happen? Boy is he ugly.
Oberon: Let’s dance! Now that we’re back together, let’s meet tomorrow night at Theseus’ palace for the wedding. And these lovers will be there getting married too.
Puck: It’s morning, we should go.
Oberon: Okay.
Titania: Okay, and explain to me how I ended up here with these mortals! (Exit)

50. Act IV, Scene i, 103
Theseus: Let’s go hunting. Hippolyta, I have awesome hunting dogs!
Hippolyta: I hunted with Hercules, dude. And his hunting dogs were awesome!
Theseus: Mine are the same kind! Really strong and ferocious. Wait a sec, who is this on the ground?
Egeus: Woa! This is my daughter and Lysander. This is Demetrius and Helena. Why are they here?
Theseus: Isn’t today the day Hermia was supposed to decide?
Egeus: Yeah it is.
Theseus: Wake up, everyone, It’s morning! What are you two enemies doing here together?
Lysander: I have no idea what’s going on. All I can tell you is that Hermia and I were going to elope…

51. Act IV, Scene i, 154
Egeus: Aha! I knew it. He is a jerk. Arrest him. Demetrius, he has stolen your wife from you.
Demetrius: Well, Helen told me about it. And I came here in anger. But, somehow, I have lost my feeling for Hermia and I now love Helena again. I promise to be true to her forever.
Theseus: Okay, well since you are all in love, why don’t we all get married at the same time! Today! (Exit)
Lovers discuss how everything seems blurry and dreamlike. They find themselves happy to be getting married! (Exit)
Bottom: Woa. What happened? Did they all leave me here asleep? I had the weirdest dream! I thought I had… Wait. I thought I was….Werid. I guess I better forget it, They would think I’m an Ass if I told a dream like that!

52. Act IV, Scene ii Quince: Is Bottom home yet?
Starveling: Nope. He’s gone forever!
Flute: We can’t do the play without him!
Quince: No, we can’t. No one in Athens can play Pyramus like Bottom.
Flute: No, he’s the best actor of all the workmen.
Quince: and the best person too.
Snug: The duke and a bunch of nobles are married! If our play was going forward, we would be rich!
Flute: Oh Bottom! He’s lost a good bit of money here! They would definitely have paid him a lot for his awesome performance!
Bottom: Hey where are my boys?!
Quince: You’re here! Oh glorious day!
Bottom: You would now the believe the story I have for you! But no, I can’t tell you. But ask me! But I can’t say anything. Let’s get ready for the play!