1. Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

2. Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

3. Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

4. Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

5. Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

6. How does the guy who drives the snow plow get to work in the mornings?

7. If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?

8. If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

9. Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

10. Why do we transport shipments by car and cargo by ship?

11. If a black box in a plane is indestructible, why can’t they make the whole plane out of it?

12. Why is it so hard to remember how to spell “mnemonic?”

13. Why is it called a TV “set” when you only get one?

14. Why do noses run and feet smell?

15. If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

16. Why does “cleave” mean both split apart and stick together?

17. Why are there expiration dates on sour cream containers?

18. Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

19. How come wrong numbers are never busy?

20. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

21. Is there another word for thesaurus?

22. How can there be self-help “groups?”

23. Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice?”

24. If you wanted to ship a package of Styrofoam, what should you pack it in?

25. Is grass really greener on the other side?

26. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

27. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

28. Why does the word monosyllabic contain five syllables?

29. Why is abbreviated such a long word?

30. If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry?

31. What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

32. If PIN stands for Personal Identification Number, why do we call it a PIN number?

33. Why does quicksand work slowly?

34. Why are boxing rings square?

35. Why do we recite at plays and play at recitals?

36. Why is QUITE A FEW the same as QUITE A LOT?

37. Why does your alarm go off by going on?

38. If it was only a 3 hour cruise, why did Mrs
If it was only a 3 hour cruise, why did Mrs. Howell have so many clothes?

39. How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t grow in it?

40. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

41. Where do forest rangers go to get away from it all?

42. Why isn’t there mouse flavored cat food?

43. Is it possible to be totally partial?

44. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

45. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

46. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

47. What do you call a defective Milk Dud?

48. Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

49. Why is the person who invests all your money called a broker?

50. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

51. Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint, you will have to touch it to be sure?

52. Why do we buy hot dogs in packages of 10 and buns in packages of 8?

53. If a turtle loses its shell, is it naked or homeless?

54. Why is it that when the batteries in your remote control wear out, you just push the buttons harder?

55. Why do you always find things in the last place you looked?

56. How do a fool and his money get together in the first place?

57. How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?

58. Can you legally yell “movie” in a crowded firehouse?

59. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

60. How come there aren’t B batteries?

61. How do the “Do not walk on the grass” signs get there?

62. Is a metaphor like a simile?

63. Why is it that night falls, but day breaks?

64. How is it possible to have a civil war?

65. How do you throw away a garbage can?

66. Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?

67. Why do people sing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” when they are already there?

68. If a rabbit’s foot was actually lucky, wouldn’t it still be attached to the rabbit’s leg?

69. Why do they call it babysitting when all you do is run after them?

70. Why are they stairs inside but steps outside?

71. Who closes the door when the bus driver gets off?

72. How come we can choose from just a couple of people for president and 50 for Miss America?

73. How much wind could a windbreaker break if a windbreaker could break wind?

74. Does expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

75. Why isn’t it funny when you hit your funny bone?

76. Why do you have to click “Start” to stop your computer?

77. What does a bald person put for hair color on their driver’s license?

78. What was the IQ of the inventor of the IQ test?

79. What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?

80. How come you never hear about gruntled employees?

81. Why do people devote their lives to becoming famous, and then do everything they can to avoid people?

82. Who tests new and improved dog food?

83. Why didn’t Noah just swat those two mosquitos?

84. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

85. Why is it that you can gain 5 pounds from eating a 1 pound box of chocolates?

86. How do you know when invisible ink runs out?

87. Why do we call this planet Earth when it is 90% water?

88. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

89. If all is not lost, where is it?

90. Why do drug stores make sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions?

91. Why do tugboats push their barges?

92. Why are they called stands when they are made for sitting?

93. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with “Quit while you’re ahead?”

94. Why are softballs so hard?

95. Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?

96. Why don’t psychics win all the lotteries?

97. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

98. Why do we call it research when we’re looking for something new?

99. Why do the alphabet song and “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” have the same tune?

100. Why do dogs dislike people blowing in their faces, but hang their heads out of the windows on car rides?