1. Is this Bullying? A Guide for Parents of Elementary School Students
For a behavior to be deemed “bullying”, it needs to include ALL of the following elements as defined by Massachusetts State Law:
Threats, stalking, assault, hazing, cyber-bullying – parts of the law – not attributed to our population

2. Must be repeated action(s) by one or more students
Must be written, verbal or electronic expression or a
physical act or gesture or any combination thereof
Must be directed at a victim so that it causes one or more of
the following:
~ physical or emotional harm to the victim
~damage to victim’s property
~places the victim in reasonable fear of harm to himself
~creates a hostile environment at school for victim
~substantially disrupts the education process or orderly
operation of a school

3. but they are not bullying.
One-time incidents may be deliberately mean or cruel
but they are not bullying.
When these incidents are brought to the attention of school personnel, they are
subject to school discipline per policy and under the discretion of the school Principal.
We always want students to feel safe and
secure, We operate under the core values
and mission of the Swampscott Public Schools.
Teach pro-social behaviors – age appropriate
instruction on bullying prevention
School counselors
Resources within school system and community
So and so bullied me. Tell me what happened. He told me to leave.

4. District Bullying Task Force
All Principals
First meeting August 20, 2010
Assessing needs and resources
Handbook changes
Professional Development
Specific Bullying Prevention Approaches
Leaders-prim role-creating sustaining culture of respect

5. Reporting and Responding to bullying and retaliation
Staff, students, parents or guardians, etc.
Oral or written – record
and the response…
Before investigating, assess immediate safety of alleged target
Notify parents/guardians of the target and the aggressor
Law enforcement if principal suspects criminal charges
Bullied on bus-avoid problem on ride home

6. Investigation by Principal or Designee
Retaliation is prohibited
Is remedial action required
Parents/guardians of target and aggressor notified what action to prevent further acts
Confidentiality of student records – No discussion of disciplinary action

7. Parents + School = Prevention
at home and at school…
Promote and model respectful ways and language
Foster an understanding of and respect for diversity and difference
Teach positive communication skills, anger management skills, and empathy for others
Prevent, intervene early, and respond effectively

8. Bullying
“A person is being bullied or victimized when he or she is exposed repeatedly and over time to negative actions on the part of one or more persons.” (Olweus, 1991)
“Bullying is longstanding violence, physical or psychological conducted by an individual or a group and directed against an individual who is not able to defend himself in the actual situation.” (Roland, 1989)
“Bullying is when one person uses power in a willful manner with the aim of hurting another individual repeatedly.” (Garrity et. Al. 1997)
Bullying is the willful conscious desire to hurt another and put him/her under stress.” (Tattum, 1998)
A bully is anyone who uses a position of relative power to direct negative intent against another person.” ( Cox)

9. Bullying Power imbalance Bully’s intent to harm Victim’s distress
Repeated over time
Reputations and power differential consolidates over time

10. Bullying Myth or Fact? Both boys and girls bully but tactics differ.
Bullies are not anxious and have positive self-images.
Bullies are not loners.
Bullies tend to be at average or slightly below average academically.
Bullies come in all sizes.
Bullies lack compassion.
Bullies value the reward they receive from aggression.
There is no main reason.
Both boys and girls bully but their tactics differ: Boys bully with physical aggression, girls are more indirect (social alienation or humiliation).
Bullies are not anxious and have positive self-images: Bullies are not insecure children, but often have positive (often unrealistic) self-images reflecting a strong need to dominate with power and threats.
Bullies are not loners: Bullies almost always have a small network of peers who encourage, admire, and model their bullying behaviour
Bullies tend to be at average or slightly below average academically.
Bullies come in all sizes … they can even intimidate victims who are physically larger than they if there is an imbalance of power.
Bullies lack compassion … they often feel justified in their actions
Bullies value the reward they receive from aggression … bullies value the attention, control over someone, or the material possessions they receive as a result of their bully behaviour.
There is no main reason … looking different is one reason children are victimized, but there is not main reason. Isolation and personality type are more often determining factors.
Adapted from Bully-Proofing Your School.: A Comprehensive Approach for Elementary Schools (Second Edition), 2000

11. Bullying Myth or Fact? Returned aggression is not usually effective.
Requesting adult intervention will help equalize the power imbalance.
When bullies are confronted their power is defused.
Teachers can learn to handle a bully.
Bullies can separate home from school.
Bullying behavior requires specific intervention techniques.
It is not good to bring parents of the bully and the victim together.
Returned aggression is not usually effective … it often motivates the bully into further attacks. Assertion, rather than aggression, is effective.
Requesting adult intervention will help equalize the power imbalance… if adults within a school are committed to preventing bullying behaviour, seeking their help is effective as it equalizes the imbalance of power between the bully and the victim.
When bullies are confronted their power is defused … when bullies are confronted by a united front of their peers who support the victims and believe that bullying behaviour is not socially acceptable, their power is defused.
Teachers can learn to handle a bully… some teacher may feel uncomfortable or threatened in conflict situations. Later we will identify our predominant conflict resolution style, and identify others on staff with complementary styles in order to turn to them for support in difficult situations.
Bullies can separate home from school … bullies can be taught responsible school behaviour even when aggression is modeled and/or reinforced at home.
Bullying behaviour requires specific intervention techniques … bullying behaviour does not usually change with traditional therapy, but requires interventions that increase skill deficits and corrects thinking errors.
It is not good to bring parents of the bully and the victim together… although not a good strategy to bring both sets of parents together, it is essential to meet with each set of parents individually to provide them with specific assistance for their particular child.
Adapted from Bully-Proofing Your School.: A Comprehensive Approach for Elementary Schools (Second Edition), 2000

12. Bullying Myth or Fact? The cycle of victimization can be broken.
The responsibility for the aggression is the bullies.
Students with special learning needs may be at greater risk of being bullied.
The cycle of victimization can be broken … the cycle can be broken by working at the school and classroom level, and by working with the individual child who is victimized.
The responsibility for the aggression is the bullies’. However, victims of bullying are not randomly targeted but victimized because of characteristics and behaviours that make them easier to target for a bully. These include being physically weak, crying easily, being anxious, and insecure, and lacking age-appropriate social skills.
Students with special learning needs may be at greater risk of being bullied … due to factors such as their disability or the fact that they may be less well integrated socially. If they have behaviour problems and act out aggressively, they can become provocative victims. If they have trouble picking up on or processing social cues, they may act shy and inhibited and become passive victims. Having a disability is not the main reason children get bullied however it on a factor that singles the victim out for being bullied.
Adapted from Bully-Proofing Your School.: A Comprehensive Approach for Elementary Schools (Second Edition), 2000

13. Research on Bullying
20-35% of children report being involved in bullying
73% of teachers report they usually intervene
25% of students report that teachers intervene
bullying generally hidden from adults
children under-report bullying
75% of bullies are boys
bullying peaks in age group
common locations are playground, hallways, classrooms, lunchrooms and washrooms
bullying not influenced by socioeconomic status
Research on bullying comes primarily from three sources
teacher views about the nature and incidence of bullying
direct inquiries with children and adolescents
basically, longitudinal studies on the topic see bullying in elementary schools as a precursor to violent behaviour

14. Forms of Bullying Physical Verbal Relational Reactive
Indirect Bullying
name-calling
taunting
rumor
gossiping
arguing
withdrawing friendship
silent treatment
exclusion
Direct Bullying
shoving and poking
throwing things
taking things
slapping and hitting
punching and kicking
beating

15. Normal Conflict Vs Bullying
Equal power-friends
Happens occasionally
Accidental
Not serious
Equal emotional reaction
Not seeking power or attention
Not trying to get something
Remorse-take responsibility
Effort to solve the problem
Bullying
Imbalance of power; not friends
Repeated negative actions
Purposeful
Serious-threat of physical harm or emotional or psychological hurt
Seeking power, control
Trying to gain material things or power
No remorse-blames victim
No effort to solve the problem

16. Understanding the Victim
Victims are not randomly targeted
tend to be anxious, insecure and lacking in social skills
usually a loner and isolated from the group
may be small or physically weak
cry easily and nonassertive
may have a physical or learning disability

17. Understanding the Bully
Strong confident, impulsive and
aggressive
low verbal intelligence and school achievement
same age or slightly older than victim
family dysfunction
not empathic or remorseful
bullying = thrill, power, control
violence OK way to solve conflict

18. School-Wide Plan… the benefits
Collaborative
is proactive not punitive
creates a shared understanding about bullying and its affects
assists a school community with the skills and language to respond
provides a framework for action
directs an array of interventions

19. Parents can ... Actively support your child
model respect, understanding and non-aggression
encourage talk about school and friends
help build your child’s confidence
teach increased responsibility
avoid overprotecting your child
help your child acquire better social skills
report victimization to the school
assert your child’s right not to be harassed
talk with your child’s teacher
ask to see a copy of the school’s values statements(code of conduct) or policy on bullying

20. Caring and Respectful Schools A Shared Responsibiltiy
Bullying Prevention