1. BUILDING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
PPL 2O Lesson 1

2. RELATIONSHIP
We form relationships as we are born (parents, siblings, family)
As we move outside the home friends, teachers and neighbors become important
As we get older new relationships (teacher-student, employer-employee) are formed

3. BENEFITS OF RELATIONSHIPS
Love
Companionship
Safety
Shared interests
Affection
Sharing hopes and dreams
Someone is there for you
Shared culture or religion
Someone to have fun with

4. Relationships… Involve a connection between people
We come into contact with many people but few will be relationships
Some people have many, some prefer few

5. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP Happiness Trust Love Affection Equality
Mutual Respect
Friendship
Humour / Fun
Can be yourself
No fear of other
Still independent people
Laughter
Common Interests
Support
Fair fights
Acceptance
Comfort
Kindness
Strong self-esteem
Good communication
Honesty

6. UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
No trust
No respect
Jealousy
Abuse – emotional, physical, sexual
Bad/no communication
Low self-esteem
Power issues
Unfair fights
Other person tries to change you
Lies
Manipulation
Lack of understanding
No fun
Fear

7. Discussion Questions??? How do you feel in a healthy relationship?
How do you feel in an unhealthy relationship?
Why do some people stay in unhealthy relationships?

8. Relationship Role Play
This will allow students to practice skills for building, maintaining and enhancing positive, healthy relationships.
Get into your 4 groups again and get a role play card
Role-play should provide appropriate example of negotiating in relationships
1-3 min…no harsh language!!

9. Role Play Questions
What skills were used to deal with the relationship?
What level of commitment is involved in this relationship?
Can you suggest other ways the characters may have handled this situation?
What were you thinking/feeling as you watched this role play?

10. COPY AND COMPLETE..
1. Why can dealing with friends, family and the people we work with sometimes be so difficult?
2. What are the most effective ways to start talking about a difficult topic?
3. What skills and elements were used to maintain these relationships?
4. Can you suggest other ways the characters may have handled these situations? Positive or negative…..

11. BUILDING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
PPL 20
Day 2

12. GROUP WORK
In 4 groups write one assigned question on your chart paper and answer in a group:
1. Define the term “dating relationship”.
2. Do you think there is a pressure to date? If so, where does it come from?
3. Do you think that males and females have similar expectations about dating?
4. How do we know what factors influence the qualities we look for in a partner?

13. What do we look for in a partner?

14. SAFE DATING
Dating should be fun and provide you with an opportunity to get to know the other person. It is important to share decisions around where you will go and what you might do on a date. If it is your first time out together you may want to go out with another couple or in a group.

15. Safe Dating cont’d
Be aware of the effects of substance use and the risk of sexual activity as a result
Know your limits around sexual activity. Being clear about your limits makes it easier to express them to a date and stick to them.
Be honest with your date and use assertive communication. If you no longer want to date that person explain why clearly and simply.

16. BUILD A RELATIONSHIP Activity
Give each person a card and use the gym to have everyone line up in an order they think is the best way to build a relationship

17. RIGHT / WRONG
There is no right way for a relationship to develop – everyone is different
Not everyone will agree with the order
**It is most important that the people in the relationship are happy with the speed the relationship is progressing

18. QUESTIONS
What about gender stereotypes? IF this activity was done with males and then females – would the progression be the same?
Have we built a “real” relationship or an “ideal” one/
Do most teen relationships look like this?
Is there a “point of no return”?
How long does each step take?
Are the birth control cards in the right place?

19. MATURE vs IMMATURE LOVE
Often people feel that they are in love, but sometimes it turns out to be infatuation rather than “mature love”
Immature love may involve one person “taking” more that “giving”; jealousy; one person calling the shots, broken promises and possibly violence

20. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP CHECKLIST
Listen to and take your feelings and ideas seriously
Talk openly and honestly with you about what matters to them
Never use threats of harm, violence or suicide to get their own way
Never hit, punch, bite, slap, push or otherwise strike out in anger or jealousy
Not try to control what you do, where you go or who you talk to
Respect you, and say good things to you and about you
Enjoy spending time with you
Trust you and earn your trust by keeping confidences
Allow you to enjoy the activities and people that matter to you
Accepts your limits about sexual activity, every time
Have a sense of humor
Communicate positively with each other

21. UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
Problems may begin to arise in relationships
They may start out as “innocent” issues and can eventually lead to abuse and violence
Many teens settle for unhealthy relationships and find it difficult to communicate their concerns to their partners

22. WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT FOR SOMEONE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THEY ARE IN AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP?

23. UNHEALTHY REL’N The expression “love is blind” is often true
Someone may feel that they are so in love that they do not look deeply at the problems and stay in the relationships for the following reasons:

24. Reasons People Stay Belief things will get better
Problems are just a phase
They can change their partner
Seen this behavior elsewhere
Don’t know this is unhealthy
Having a partner is more important
Scared to break it off (can’t cope without the other or the other may be violent)

25. BUILDING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
LESSON PLANS: PPL 20
DAY 3

26. Relationship Violence
…is the emotional, physical, and/or sexual abuse of one partner by another in a dating relationship where the couple is not living together

27. Forms of Abuse Physical Abuse
The intentional use of any action that could cause pain or injury. Shoving, pushing, slapping, kicking, biting, punching, pinching, hair-pulling, throwing things, threatening to cause harm with a weapon.
Emotional Abuse
Affects our feelings and includes name-calling, insulting, blaming, humiliating, swearing or yelling, being disrespectful, causing embarrassment, being explosive, extreme mood swings, manipulating, being possessive, isolation

28. Forms of Abuse Psychological Abuse
Throwing or breaking things, destroying possessions, threatening to cause personal harm to friends, family or pets, threatening to commit suicide to get their way, threatening gestures or facial expressions, stalking, contact by phone etc that causes fear or discomfort, guilt tripping, mind games
Sexual Abuse
Unwanted sexual touching, sexual acts without consent, making fun for not wanting to do certain sexual things, unsafe sexual practices, forcing a person into degrading, humiliating or painful sexual acts, making rude comments or gestures

29. How Common? Can be either partner…
Most studies report people ages have highest risk of dating violence…
Females in their teens experience dating violence at a higher rate than males

30. Warning Signs
A person who is experiencing an abusive situation may show the following signs of changes of behavior
Mood or personality changes
Physical injuries like bruises, sores, scratches or broken bones (especially if injuries don’t match the story they tell you)
Sudden changes in clothes or makeup
Failing grades or dropping out of school activities
Emotional outbursts or over-reacting to things that seem small or unimportant

31. Warning Signs Withdrawing from family and friends
Difficulty making decisions
Sudden changes in mood or personality (ex: becoming anxious or depressed, acting out and being secretive)
Changes in eating or sleeping habits, avoiding eye contact
Constantly thinking about their dating partner
Using alcohol or drugs or increased use of drugs or alcohol

32. Warning Signs Someone is Abusive and Could be Violent
S/He pressures to make the relationship very serious or to have sex
S/He becomes extremely jealous and possessive and thinks these destructive displays of emotion are signs of love
S/He is controlling and bossy (ie: makes all the decisions, does not take your opinion seriously,or uses put-downs when alone or with friends)
S/He uses guilt trips (ie: if you really loved me you would…)

33. Warning Signs Someone is Abusive and Could be Violent
Blames you for relationship problems (ie: its because of you I get so mad)
S/He may apologize for violent behaviors promising never to act violent again and to change
S/He keeps you from spending time with close friends or family
S/He is verbally and emotionally abusive

34. Why might teens not tell…
Embarrassed, ashamed, stupid, worthless
Alone and afraid of getting hurt
Convinced it’s their fault
Scared of getting in trouble
Parents or friends will blame them or will be disappointed
Confused- they may think this is how people show love

35. POWER IMBALANCES
Whenever there is an imbalance of power, there is potential for misuse of that power.
POWERFUL LESS POWERFUL
Adult children
Men women
Rich poor
White people of color
Boss worker
Able-bodied disablities
Formally educated non-formally educated
Born in Canada immigrant